new perspective

xi. MORE THAN ANYTHING

i leaned down with him, our heads grazing the desk. we were like kids in playschool, talking useless crap and living the best life. i ruffled his hair with my left hand, "glad to know you think i'm attractive, sex-god."

"enough!" he claimed, "my hair! aah! it actually looked good for once!"

"you look good no matter what, darryl." i told him, "don't worry about it."

"can i ruffle yours, then?"

"fine." i sighed, tilting my head down. he shoved his hand into my hair, ruffling it crazily. he stopped, covering his mouth with his hand while he cracked up. i tilted my head, "are you happy now?"

"yes! very!" he said, trying to hold himself together. he suddenly let it all out, using his hand to hold his mouth shut.

"what! do i look that bad!" i said, laughing along although i couldn't understand what he was laughing at.

"not-" he breathed, "not bad, ju- jus-" he giggled again, "just different than usual. i like it."

"clearly." i joked, smiling lovingly at him, "i like different."

another woman came with our menus, placing them on our table, "hello! i am beth, and i will be your waitress for the day. would you like to start off with some drinks, or are you waiting for anyone?"

"drinks are fine." i told her, looking over at darryl. he pointed toward the water on the paper, and i spoke for him, "can i get a water and a coke, please?"

"coming right up." she said, leaving to go grab our drinks. darryl flipped through the book, asking, "should we get an appetizer?!"

"whatever you'd like, honey."

his eyes washed over the lists of food, i spoke again, "we should get to know each other, right? i mean.. we already know about each other, but more." more serious stuff, because we were going to be serious.

"i like the sound of that." he agreed.

"well, as you know, i'm zak carder. i was born on january 17th and i am 17. cool, i know. i like drawing.. listening to music — at a reasonable volume — and i like you too.. and yeah. that's basically me."

"my full name is darryl noveschosh," he told me, "i was born on april 2nd, and i'm 16. but in one month i'll be 17 so you aren't that far ahead!" he exclaimed, shoving his finger in my face. "anyway, i enjoy writing, reading, music, and shopping for clothes."

if he was only 16, how could he drive? didn't my mother say only adults lived at his house?

"sweet." i replied, asking him, "do you go to school?"

"no." was all he said. no explanation, no continuation, just blank, no. i guess that was good enough.

"have you decided what you will be eating yet?" beth asked us, a small notebook in her hand. i looked at darryl for guidance again, and he pointed to a spinach dip. i nodded, "i'll be having a spinach dip for appetizer."

"one spinach dip." she mumbled under her breath, writing it down, "is that all?"

"yes, thank you." and she left.

darryl sighed, "you're just so good."

"what?" i asked. he looked down to his lap, "you're good at talking with people, you're amazing at comforting me, you're really sweet and caring — and funny when you wanna be —" he laughed, shaking his head, "i'm just so lucky. like, you bought me a thing full of roses, when you didn't even know me. that's amazing."

yeah, i guess he was right.

"i don't know.. i just – i don't think i deserve someone as good as you."

"if you make me, i'll go on another rant on how amazing you are. i'm not afraid and i won't hold back." i instantly replied.

"those are your specialty." he slyly replied, "but then again, everything about you is special."

"i don't know if it's just me, but my ego is really getting boosted right now." i said, "or it's just you being a sappy romantic. a perfect, sappy romantic."

"oh, it's definitely not just you. and with the sappy romantic part, you're the only one who makes me like this, y'know."

"oh? i assumed you went around and told everyone they were special and perfect?" i sarcastically replied. he rolled his eyes, telling me, "nope. only you.

"you're the only one who deserved to hear it."

and maybe i was. maybe i deserved all of his compassion.

still, while this whole scene rolled out, making my heart twist and my stomach light, those small words were bubbling beneath my tongue.

kit's not blue.

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