A Secret To Keep (Being Rewritten)

Chapter 5

"Baby girl, you up?" Said a low, deep voice, followed by a sigh.

"Ryder.... I know you hear me."

There was a light caress going down my light cheek. I shivered under the touch; It heated my body, but also gave me goosebumps.

"I know you feel it. Just wake up so I can see those beautiful eyes. Talk to me. I miss hearing your voice."

That voice... it's so close and familiar, like I can feel the breath on my ear. Is it... naw. It can't be.

But what if.. NO. Ryder, he's dead. He could do a lot of things, but coming back from the dead was not one of them.

I wish he could, though. I wish I could feel him against me; holding me tightly against him, caressing my back while I slept, showing me how unlimited our love was.

I felt the same caress slide down my neck, following an invisible line around to the nape of my neck, between my shoulder blades, going further until it landed in the center of my back and where it turned into a large, rough, yet gentle hand. It stayed there for a while, before turned into a finger, slowly tracing the outline of the tattoo that had brought such intended pain. Pain used to proved that I was still here.... A welcomed pain.

A loyal daisy graced my back, with its stem encircled by the tail of a thickly shaded scorpion as its body and claws stretched to the dip of my lower back.

"Ry. Get up. Baby girl... For me. I want to talk..... Please." There it is again. That voice. His voice. No. He's not here. It's impossible. I could feel my eyes stinging underneath my closed eyelids as the reality of that impossibility dawned on me, as it had for a long time. He's really gone. "I love you, My Little Ride or Die. Always and forever."

There was a light brush on my forehead. Like a kiss from lips as soft as marshmallows, and sweeter than sugar; but always held a jalapeño heat to the kisses it gave me. I loved those lips, and the owner of those lips. Lips I could never get enough of. Lips that talked me out of so many bad decisions. Lips that held so much wisdom to those who needed it. Lips that kept me off edge. His lips. The ones that were identical to mine.

I subconsciously got out of bed, and walked down the hall. Reaching the last room on the left. Slowly opening my eyes, hoping and praying for a different outcome than the one I've been getting for far too long, knowing that it would be the same as all of the other times. It was exactly the same as all the other times. Exactly the same. Empty.

I walked back to my room, sighed and turned to my alarm clock. 2:34. Figures. I walked into my closet and retrieved some clothes. Pulling out a fresh pair of sweats, a hoodie, and a pair of sneakers to cover my bare body. I checked my cameras on my phone as I walked down the stairs, not finding anything out of place. Walking outside, I unlocked and got into my truck. I set the alarms as I pulled out onto the empty road. Turning on the radio, I was greeted with the song that brought back so many memories.

"I can't imagine life
Without you by my side
This is love babe that I'm feeling
And I'm hoping that you're feeling the same way

Things tend to slip my mind
Like how you like to wine and dine, babe
With romantic lights you mean a lot to me
In so many ways

Lately, have I told you I love you?
Lately, have I told you you still mean the world to me?
Lately, have I told you I love you?
I'll be your wishing well, tell me what you want babe"

When the song finally ended, I found myself in front of him. Hesitantly, I got out of the truck, leaving my headlights to light the path.

"Hey, baby boy. You missed me?... I missed you, too.... So, so much. Some... Sometimes, I-I can't believe you're gone. And JT, he misses you, too. Probably just a must as I do..... Every once in a while, I'll catch him looking at a picture of you with a smile on his face. Most likely thinking about one of the many adventures y'all had, huh? And tell my baby that I love and misse him a lot. I bet he looks like me." I laughed, feeling a soft wind brush across my face.