Cruel Summer

☀️ Third Shot ☀️

Pinakita naman ni Rona ang mga nakasulat sa notebook niya. Nagpapraktis lang palang pumirma.

"Itong si Terry, parang naisulat lahat e. Patingin naman notes."sabi ni Guia at sinilip ang scratch pad ko.

"Wala kang maiintindihan diyan."sabi ko.

Kinuha niya pa rin ang scratch pad ko at  binuklat. "Ano ito? Doodle? Seryoso ba kayo? Wala kayong notes man lang."

"Kung sana nagsulat ka ede may reviewer tayo lahat."sabi ni Yana.

"Kopyahan na lang. Short quiz lang naman."bulong ni Cindy.

Nag-umpisa na ngang isulat ng prof namin sa whiteboard ang mga tanong. First part ng quiz ay enumeration then may choices at sa last part ay essay naman.

"Kailan pa naging short quiz ito? Ang haba naman." reklamo ni Guia. "Rona, ikaw na magsulat ng essay ko, please. Tapos  na ba?"

"Humarap ka nga. Mamaya mapagalitan pa tayo e."sita ni Hazel sa kaniya.

"Dadamot niyo naman. Papatulong lang e."sagot naman ni Guia sa kaniya.

Sabay pa kamong nag-abot ng papel namin ni Rona sa kaniya para hindi na siya malungkot. Pero agad din naming tinago dahil lumingon ang prof  sa pwesto namin.

"Pasimple mong abutin."bulong ko at maingat na nilusot sa tabi niya ang papel ko.

"Five minutes left and after that please pass your paper."sabi ng prof namin.

Meron pang limang minuto si Guia para tapusin ang essay niya. Mabilis niya naman nagawa 'yon kaya sakto lang ng sabihing pen's up, ay naisulat na niya ang dapat niyang isulat.

"Saan kayo after school?"tanong ni Kristel sa amin.

"Uuwi."sabay-sabay na sagot ni Hazel, Guia at Yana.

"May dadaanan."sagot naman ni Cindy

"Sino nanaman 'yan? Ikaw ha. Share mo naman ang details."biro ni Hazel kay Cindy.

"E paano kung ayaw ko?"

"Ede 'wag. Damot mo naman e."sagot ni Hazel.

"Wala may errands lang ako. Nautusan ni mama. Kaya kailangan kong makauwi kaagad."sagot ni Hazel.

"Oh, so you and your mom are now in..."hindi natuloy ni Rona ang sasabihin kasi niyakap siya kaagad ni Cindy.

"No, not yet. Pero mama ko pa rin siya. I have to go girls. Bye!"sagot niya at niyakap kami isa-isa.

Nagpaalam na rin si Guia, Hazel at Yana sa amin. Sabay naman kaming tatlo nila Kristel at Rona lumabas ng school.

"Dito na ako sasakay. Mag-ingat kayo ha."sabi ni Kristel at niyakap kaming dalawa ni Rona.

"Mall?"tanong ko.

"Sige, ikaw bahala."sagot niya.

Natawa naman ako sa sagot niya. Palagi na lanh nila akong sinasagot ng ikaw bahala. As if their world depends on me. But I don't mind, I can babysit them for as long as they want. I just find it cute and funny. Hindi ko lang alam minsan kung paano ko sasabihin 'yon without being offensive sa kanila.

Kumain na lang muna kami sa isang fastfood chain ni Rona habang hinihintay ang papa niya na sunduin siya. Habang kumakain ay halata sa kaniya na meron siyang malalim na iniisip.

"Spill it out. Mahirap kapag palagi mong tinatago 'yan."sabi ko sa kaniya.

Nagulat pa siya nang magsalita ako. "Sorry. Wala naman. Ano lang... wala 'to."

Kumunot ang noo ko at tinitigan siya. "You can tell me. I'm here to listen." sabi ko.

"I don't know where to start or which one. I'm clouded with so much thoughts right now Terry. Kaya hindi ko alam how to open this up."sagot niya.

Nanahimik ako sa sinagot ni Rona sa akin. She's right. It's reallt hard to open up topics that are really sensitive for you. Kasi hindi mo alam kung saan ka mag-uumpisa para maintindihan ka ng taong kausap mo. Another reason can also be that you're afraid that theyl judge you after opening up. Ikaw pa ang lalabas na masama kasi nagsalita ka.

"It's okay Veronica, if you can't tell it right now. We still have more time to bond. Kapag kaya mo na, saka mo ilabas lahat. I just want you to know that I am here." sabi ko.

And when I thought this week will run smoothly, another problem showed up.

"What is he doing here?"tanong ko kay mommy. "I'm asking you mom?"

"Terry, calm down, anak please."sabi ni mommy at hinawakan ang kamay ko para pakalmahin ako.

Any minutr now, sasabog na ako. I am not sure if I can control myself. I am mad. I am so mad that I can curse at him.

"Love, sit down please. Let's talk anak. Please, nandito ako dahil gusto kitang makita. I just want to make sure you're okay."

That voice. His voice. My father's voice.

"Please, darling. We have to talk as a family. Alam ko na marami akong pagkukulang. But now, I'm here. I'm here to check on you, your mom and also your grandma."

I stared at him full of anger in my eyes. How can he say those words as if I'm happy to see him. He disappeared for more than seven years, but now, look who's here, as if nothing happened.

"Let's forget what happened anak. Yoi don't know how much I miss you. I miss your mom. I miss-..."

"Enough. I don't wanna hear anything from you. Just go. I don't need you."

Tumayo siya para lapitan ako pero mabilis akong umatras. My mom hold my hand to stop me from whatever I'm about to do.

"Come on Terry. You just need to listen to your dad."sabi ni mommy.

Tiningnan ko siya if she's just joking 'cause I hate this joke. But she's goddamn serious about it. Then I look at my father. How can he show my mom how much he cares for us. If in the first place he ran away from his responsibilities.

"If you can't listen to me anak, then, listen to your mom."he said.

Natigil lang kaming tatlo nang bumaba na si grandma. I didn't expect any help from her. I know that she will just stand there and watch me suffer, again, and again. Kaya ginamit ko ang pagkakataon na 'yon para lumabas ng bahay. Tumakbo ako paikot ng subdivision namin. Hanggang sa bumuhos na ang ulan. I don't know where to hide. I don't know where to look.

I just wanted to scream but the raindrops are much louder than my voice right now. Even if I scream, no one can hear me. No one cares how much this things hurts.