Broken Remedy |L. Odinson|

Chapter Twenty-One

"Whatever it is you want, you can ask," she murmured as she leaned forward and placed her cane on the small table in front of them. Loki's eyes followed the movement, and it occurred to him just then it had been a while since he had last seen her not holding her cane and the realisation she felt comfortable enough to let go of her means to protect herself was a relief and brought him pride at the same time. He said nothing about his thoughts, though, as he looked up and met her eyes once more.

"Do you want to talk about what happened a few weeks ago?"

"I'm trying to move on," she murmured as she looked away, and the moment she did, it was as if she was shielding herself away from his eyes. Loki tried to not frown. "I don't know what to say about it. I'm aware I'm not the same but...it's almost as if I don't know how to be the same anymore. Like I've forgotten how I used to be?" She turned to face him once more, her face a mask of confusion. "I don't know, it doesn't make sense."

"I don't expect you to be the same, love," he murmured, his gaze moving in between her eyes as if he was looking for something without a form. "I think you're getting better, though. Going to the palace to train helped, don't you think?"

She nodded with a slight smile. "I think it did. Thank you."

"What for?"

"Suggesting this arrangement, being patient with me, not casting me out," she muttered as she frowned once more and looked away. "I don't know if I deserve all of this, Loki."

"You would have done the same if it were the other way around and you were in my position," he pointed out, a confident tilt in his tone that made Eir believe him, not because she thought she would have done all he did but because he was certain she would. She trusted him, more than she trusted herself at this point.

"What if I never get back to the way I was? What if I stay like this?"

"I can adapt," he shrugged as if it weren't much of an issue. "You aren't getting rid of me that easily."

"I should hope not," she mumbled and there was something about the way she was looking him - almost shy and definitely slightly scared - that brought him to smile slightly. There was something familiar about the way she looked at him right now, and before he could say a word, she beat him to it. "I've been deserting you."

"It's alright-"

"No, it isn't," she shook her head, more firm this time as she looked at the cane rested on the small table, almost absentmindely. "I wasn't focused on you. For a while, you didn't even cross my mind. You don't deserve this kind of treatment, Loki. No matter how many times you've tricked me, tried to mock me, I shouldn't have left you alone like that."

"You didn't do it on purpose," he pointed out but she shook her head once more.

"It doesn't matter if I did it on purpose or not. I still did it. It's a surprise really you've been around this long." She noticed his raised eyebrow almost instantly. "I'm not just saying this because it's you, Loki. It's been weeks, most people would have given up by now, you know. But you didn't give up on me and even though I don't know if I deserve all this effort or not, I still have to thank you."

"Don't," he murmured as he reached forward and gently, grabbed her hand. "You know you would have done the same if it were the other way around."

"I only heal physical injuries, Loki."

"It doesn't matter," he shook his head as he squeezed her hand. A while later, she squeezed back. He looked up, surprised but pleased at the reciprocation. There was a kind smile on her lips, a shadow of the smile he was used to receive from her, but it was still a smile, and there was a soft look in her eyes as she regarded him. It seemed as if he had been transported in a memory. "What is it?"

"I think I've never appreciated you enough, my Prince."

He wanted to protest or tease her, anything would do, but his mind was stuck. My Prince, she had said. It had been a long time since she had last called him that. Loki was certain now; Eir was making progress and he was confident that soon enough, she would be more of the woman he knew.

He didn't speak a word following her confession, and she slowly looked away, at the view he had from the balcony. Her thumb on the back of his palm traced imaginery patterns and the moment was so soothing Loki leaned his head back on the armchair and closed his eyes. He could have fallen asleep there, he was sure, if it hadn't been for Eir speaking once more.

"I've thought about this for a while. Brandt wouldn't have wanted me to waste my life mourning."

Even though Loki hadn't known Brandt all that well, he knew this was true. "You're right, he probably wouldn't."

"I'm going to start doing things."

"You are doing things, love," he opened his eyes to meet her expectant gaze. "You're coming to the palace and having plenty of fights with your acquaintances. You're around others all day."

"That doesn't mean I've moved on. That's what Brandt would have wanted me to do. He'd want me to move on and stop sulking."

"I don't think Brandt would ever say you are sulking-"

"I'll start my life again," she cut him off, speaking mostly to herself it seemed, not listening to Loki much. So, he kept quiet. "I'm going to keep training. I'll go out with Alvis again in the forest, I've missed that. Maybe I'll attend one of these feasts in the castle, it's been a while since I did that, don't you think?"

"But feasts were never something you particularly enjoyed."

"It's still better than staying in a room all day doing nothing," she pointed out as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"If you so want to do something productive, during the next feast you can come to my room and we'll read books together."

"Tempting, but no," she smiled at him briefly as she turned away once more. "I'm going to make up for all the time I lost in my home, drowning my sorrows and keeping everything bottled in. Hitting people to stop thinking about what's bothering me is a solution and a way to achieve my goal but there are other, less violent ways. I think I shouldn't be so violent. Don't you?"

"It depends," he shrugged, "if you're going to be violent instead of going to feasts I'd suggest you keep being violent."

She sent him a decent smile as he sent her a wink. She squeezed his hand before turning away, back to watching the view once more. "I'll be back to myself before you realise it."

"Challenge accepted."

"My Prince," she murmured as she turned to face him once more, "don't tempt me."

Wordlessly, she stood up, grabbed her cane and placed a fleeting kiss on his cheek before leaving the room with a vague wave and a slight smile. Even after she had left, all Loki could seem to do was smile.