Like He Never Left

chapter 11

"Just give a chance to-"

"Save it!" Brooke interrupts. "You think whatever you have to say will make me stay? You couldn't be more wrong!"

With every word, the girls step closer and closer to me, caging me in, and with every word, my throat constricts a little tighter and my stomach gets kicked. I fall to my knees in agony, not knowing what else to do. 

"You're a fraud!"

"You're a pathetic excuse of a man!"

"Who could ever have really loved you?"

I bolt upright in bed, heaving with sweat dripping everywhere. I grab onto my sheets to steady myself, glancing around wildly and trying to steady my heart. I catch sight of Brooke sleeping soundly beside me, totally and blissfully unaware of the trainwreck beside her. 

I check the time to see it's barely past four in the morning. 

Pushing the tears back, I squeeze my eyes shut and fall back against the headboard. 

It was all so real. It was way too real. 

Running my hands down my face, I attempt to push all thoughts of that nightmare out of my head. 

It wasn't real. 

I slide out of bed, knowing that there isn't any way that I'm going to be able to fall asleep after that and shrug on a flannel. After making some coffee, I sit out on the balcony, just thinking. Thinking about how Brooke is going to take the news of me being a recent divorcee. Thinking about how Josie wasn't really over me when I returned home all those years ago. Thinking about how this should have turned out differently. 

But it didn't. This is how it is, and there's no going back to change the past. It's impossible. 

I fiddle with the velvet box sitting in my palms, wondering if it's worth all of this bullshit. 

I sigh, reminding myself yet again that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to. I wouldn't be facing this challenge if I couldn't handle it. 

I can handle it. I know I can because I'll have to. It's not like I can just go back to Josie after all of this if Brooke decides to break things off with me. 

After putting the ring back in my pocket, I mull over exactly how I'm supposed to tell Brooke about my previous marriage. I'll need to just be very upfront and straight with her. At least, that's how I would want to be told that my boyfriend was still married and running away from his problems when we started dating, but who knows? I could be totally wrong about all of this. 

A couple of hours later, I return to my room to find that Brooke is still passed out. Good. I crawl back in beside her and mess around on my phone while waiting for her alarms to go off, even though my mind is hardly paying attention to the mind-numbing games I'm attempting to play; 

When they do around nine, I feel her stir gently, pulling the blanket closer around us. 

"Don't make me wake up," she groans groggily. She pushes her hair out of her face in a sloppy manner and rests her chin on my chest, staring up at me. 

"But you have to," I coax softly. 

She rolls her eyes before squinting out the window. 

"You suck."

I scoff internally. 

Tell me something I don't know. 

"Doesn't change the fact that you have to get up."