Life With Ice (An Ice Bear x Reader Story)

Chapter 13: The Thing You'd Never Said

Even though it lasted for only four seconds, it felt like you and Ice had been kissing on cloud nine for about an hour. Unfortunately, though, the interaction with your crush was cut short with the rising of beer flavored bile rushing up your throat. You softly pushed away from Ice, who stood woozy and starry eyed with red cheeks, and darted outside to empty your guts.

You could hear Grizz, Pan-Pan, Petra, and Chloe cheering you and Ice on inside as you threw up into the nearby bushes. After you were finished, you straightened up with and turned to stumble back into the cave to go and brush your teeth but halted at the sight of Soren looming over you. You stared up into his face and he down into yours, not knowing exactly what he wanted or how to break the silence. Luckily, you didn't have to as Soren let out a heavy but good-natured sigh and plopped down in the ground beside you. Now it was him looking up at you.

"WELP, didn't expect for THAT to happen in there!" Soren joked, fanning his face as if he were hot and bothered by seeing you and Ice kiss. You chuckled, feeling relieved that Soren wasn't being a huge jerk like you'd thought he was going to be. "Me, neither." you replied. "Though I'm not entirely sure what would have happened if Ice and Petra hadn't butted in, either."

Soren picked up a red leaf that had fallen to the ground and twirled it absentmindedly between his fingers. "I know what would have happened, though. You'd have chosen truth, since you were always too wimpy to pick dare, and then I would have asked if you liked Ice." he admitted quietly. You nodded your head in acknowledgment and sat down in the grass beside your childhood friend. "The way the two of you kissed though was more than just a dare thing, though...So I guess that answered my question." the platinum blonde man stated, cocking his head towards you and winking.

You blushed at what Soren said and wrapped your arms around your knees, looking up at the moon above in the starless sky. "I think I more than like him." you confided in barely a whisper. Soren's face grew serious at what you'd just told him and there was silence between the two of you for a moment. "So it was love that was making you look so different... And here I'd thought your tits just got bigger!" he teased, not able to stay completely serious for long periods of time.

You playfully swatted at Soren as he chuckled at your reaction. "But for real, though, f/c/n; your look's changed since Alaska." Soren informed you. You shrugged and smiled thoughtfully "Yeah, I've done a lot of changing since Alaska." you admitted. Soren whistled in agreement "Boy, did you!" he complimented while sarcastically pretending to check you out. This guy.

Suddenly, Soren grew solemn again and scooched until his entire body was facing you. "Speaking of things changing, Y/N, you...No- WE... Never officially broke up, back then..." his voice trailed off into the night air and you leaned back and thought about it.

Soren wasn't wrong; minutes after he and Susan admitted to getting drunk and sleeping with each other, you had ran out without saying anything about your relationship status and then the big accident had happened. After the accident came rehab and healing, which Soren was there for every step of the way. But it didn't feel like the two of you were a couple, anymore; the entire time he was there felt friendly and almost brother-like, like when you were kids. That's how things always felt between you and Soren though; all the good, the bad, and the ugly just felt fucking childish. After rehab and healing came the silent letter of apology, the crying, the guilt, the packing of all your earthly possessions, the buying of the plane ticket, the slipping out if your bedroom window deep into the night, and the leaving. Through all that time, you or Soren had never actually SAID the words to seal the deal.

"Well...What do you want me to say now, Soren?" you asked gently. The corners of Siren's mouth turned up into a small smile as he ruffled your hair "I want you to say what YOU want to happen to us. I'm down for whatever." You looked at Soren closely, now. Even in the starless night, you could make out his hair, his pale green eyes, the star shaped tattoo on his wrist he'd gotten at the state fair by lying about his age back in tenth grade, his somewhat pale skin. You closed your eyes and exhaled before giving your answer.

"I'll always love you, Soren, and I'll always respect you for the things you've done for me. But even now, I still remember what you and Susan did, and I can't just carve away pieces of myself until Im the person that you want or need me to be. You can't do that for me, either; we both need to be completely and honestly ourselves. The me that I am now... Is in love with someone else. I think we should break up." you said. Your voice was so calm that your words almost sounded more like a bittersweet lullaby than a breakup speech.

You open your eyes once again to see Soren staring at you, a smile so sweet and melancholic that it almost broke your heart. "Drat. The new you is even hotter than before, too!" Soren lamented jokingly, shaking his fist at the sky in mock anguish. You smiled, a mist of tears blurring your vision of your now ex-boyfriend. Before you could think of something to quip back at him, Soren leaned over and wiped away your tears with his thumb before tucking the red leaf he had been gingerly holding into your hair. With the tears wiped away, you saw how different Soren looked now as he walked back into the cave.

For the first time since the day of the accident, you finally felt like you could breathe. The new autumn air in your lungs felt like refreshing ice.

(A/N: Hey, guys, thanks for reading this far into the book. I hope to have the next chapter out, soon, and I PROMISE it'll be right back to fluffy Ice bear content, so hurray for that!)