"Who Is He?"

Part 12

I went straight to Andy and Dave's house. It was getting dark, I was glad I had left that bag at their house, I got the feeling I'd be staying there tonight as well. It said a lot that I found comfort in two virtual strangers. It said that I was lonely. Maybe it was just that they seemed to be my kind of people, I told myself, trying to think positively.

I stood outside the house, noticing that the only light was coming from the lounge. It was completely still outside, and bitterly cold. However it wasn't the kind of temperature that made you want to run to the nearest warm place, I felt at ease, relaxed. This was quite silly really. It was one of those moments where you want to just be alone, stay outside and just make the most of solitude. I took a deep breath, and walked towards the front door. I banged the cast iron door handle against the wood.

"You might as well sell your place at this rate," Andy grinned, then hugged me, pulling me inside as he did so. Dave came bounding into the conservatory, looking quite panic stricken.

"You can't come in!" Dave almost shouted at me.

"Dave, what are y-"Andy looked genuinely confused, but the look Dave shot at him must have cleared up the confusion straight away. "Oh, shit." Andy said, looking at Dave in an apologetic way.

"I'll go if I'm an inconvenience, all you had to do was say," I mumbled, quite hurt and suspicious.

"Now's not a good time. You could at least ring in advance, not just take advantage of any opportunity." Dave's personality had shifted yet again. Andy had taken a backseat, glancing nervously between me and Dave. "Andy, see her out." Dave hadn't yet looked at me, but Andy was sending a sympathetic stare my way.

Dave turned around to head towards the lounge, back the way he had come. He raised his hand to open the door but someone from the other side beat him to it, forcing Dave to step backwards out of the way; he hung his head, defeated. I stared at Lucas who had just emerged out of the door. I didn't want to see him at the moment, but maybe this way we would be forced to speak about it, rather than me backing out and trying to avoid the conversation. Then it hit me - what was he doing here? He lectured me about not spending time with these men and yet he was here, after denying that he knew them. Everything clicked now, of course he knew, Scott had just basically told me he was there when John died, which meant he must have known them. It was glaringly obvious that Lucas had lied to me multiple times over the last few days. But worse than that, he'd lied about knowing them, putting up an act that he had nothing to do with them. But much worse than that, he'd been there when my brother died and never told me.

I ran out of the door, my brain overloaded. I wanted the feeling of solitude I had had before I entered the house. So I just ran, ignoring the shout from Lucas. I'd have thought twice about this if I was in the city. But there was no one around here, so the darkness felt comforting rather than threatening. When I couldn't see any lights from the house and I was out of breath, I collapsed onto a bench beside the road, hugging my knees to my chest, pulling my hood over my head trying to conserve as much heat as possible. After my legs began to ache from the position I was in, I lay down so I was facing the night sky. It dawned on me that I needed stability. When I was alone in my apartment, I felt lonely, like I needed to be around people. But lying here felt so good, not having to worry about anyone, or lies or anything. But it was obviously not practical. I concluded that I needed something constant that wouldn't hurt me in the way I was hurt now. So I knew what I had to do.

The sound of pounding feet and a light bobbing up and down caught my attention and though I didn't want to see Lucas or Dave, my heart pounded as I hoped it was one of them coming towards me, not some stranger. So when Andy emerged from the darkness I was relieved, knowing he was the best person to be confronted by in my situation.