Christmas at Pemberley

Part 19

Georgiana was quite convinced that her walking almost-alone with Mr Lambert was a scheme of Elizabeth's, for her sister-in-law remained always several yards behind them, bringing up the rear of the small party with Mrs Gardiner.

"...I assure you, Miss Darcy, my first attempt at performance was a disaster!" Mr Lambert finished his story with a laugh that was so genuine that Georgiana could not help but join in. He had been telling her an amusing anecdote of his life prior to his arrival in Derbyshire, entirely self-deprecating over his faults, and yet never seeking sympathy or contradiction. Her smile grew as she contrasted this Mr Lambert with the proud, bad-tempered individual she had first interacted with at the tea room. How different they were! And how mistaken she had been to judge him on that same first impression!

"I wonder, Mr Lambert, that you decided to pursue a career in the church, if speaking before a crowd does not come naturally to you."

Mr Lambert's bright smile dropped and Georgiana hurried to explain herself, fearing he read some criticism in her observation.

"I only speak for myself: I do not enjoy public attention, and the thought of seeking it out on a weekly basis is enough to send me reaching for smelling salts!" She smiled, encouragingly. "Did you have a change of heart during your studies?"

"Something like that," Mr Lambert said, stiffly.

Georgiana frowned, wondering what had prompted such a change in her companion. Was her question so very surprising? She tried again, hoping to undo whatever damage she had caused.

"You enjoy it now, though, I imagine? Or you have found enough in the role of curate that outweighs the unhappy prospect of addressing the congregation on a Sunday."

"I take the responsibility seriously," Mr Lambert said, his voice strained. When Georgiana looked at him, his gaze was fixed on the distance but she fancied he did not see the trees overhead nor the winding path they were following, but something else entirely, something distant and far-off that she had no knowledge of. She bit her lip, wishing she could take back her words, retreat to their laughter of a few moments earlier, and was struggling to think of a new topic to steer them towards when Mr Lambert spoke again.

"It was my brother's dream, Miss Darcy, if I am honest, not mine. My brother was a great orator, and much the more confident of the two of us. He is older by a year, but I often felt as if there were ten years compressed into that one, for he always seemed far wiser and more adventurous than I."

Georgiana nodded, sensing that she would serve her friend best by staying silent and allowing him to speak without censure.

"He was partway through his training when he fell gravely ill, and I am sorry to say he has never fully recovered."

"Oh!" Georgiana's hand flew to her mouth. She could not bear the thought of losing her own brother and could only imagine the impact such a loss had had on the gentleman walking alongside her. "I had no idea."

"I do not speak of him often," Mr Lambert confessed, with a slight smile. "He lives with my parents in London, where he might have access to the best doctors and treatments, but I am sorry to say there is little improvement. His place, then, passed to me, and it was agreed with the rector of this parish to hold it in stead until I was ready to take up the job." His smile grew tight. "I owe a debt of gratitude to him for working on until I qualified, for without this position I would be quite adrift. The care of my brother, you see, has taken quite a toll on my family."

He did not say on my family finances but Georgiana was not naïve enough to be unaware of the financial drain doctors could be.

"You will - you will not see them for Christmas, then?" she ventured, at last, eager to offer something in return for his trust in confessing such a story to her. "They are not travelling to visit you?"

"I think not." Mr Lambert's smile grew bitter. "My father and I did not part on the best of terms. He mourns the loss of my brother - or, rather, refuses to acknowledge that my brother remains amongst us, although sadly altered by illness. I was not his favourite before Robert's misfortune and I have not become so in the intervening years."

He said this without a trace of regret, merely the sad acknowledgement of a fact that had defined his life to this point. Again, Georgiana's heart constricted in sympathy. She had always been somewhat treasured and petted at home, even after her parents had died, for she and her brother were close and remained everything to one another. That had not changed with Darcy's marriage. If anything, Georgiana had grown her affections to include Elizabeth and had become more treasured than ever. Her heart ached for Daniel, who had been forced into a career he would not have chosen and distanced from a family who had little time or affection to spare him since his own brother's misfortune.

"Then - perhaps - perhaps you would care to spend Christmas at Pemberley," she rushed out, at last, praying that her cheeks did not look as hot and flushed as they felt. His eyes met hers and she darted her gaze away, somehow unable to both speak to and look at him at the same time. "I know my brother would be most delighted to have another gentleman present, and if you are new to the village I do not suppose you have many other homes open to you at such short notice."

"You are correct, Miss Darcy, I do not." His words sounded light and merry again as if he was smiling when he spoke them. Still, Georgiana could not quite trust herself to look at him, fearing she would betray the feelings she was as yet still unsure of in herself. "You are very kind to think of me. I accept, most gratefully."

He cleared his throat and then, as if sensing her dis-ease, drew both of their attention to a robin dancing merrily on the road ahead of them. This soon caught the attention of the children, and soon their walk became an expedition, with the goal of who could identify the most birds before reaching home.