His Safety Net

Chapter 17

       Right?

       "Do you know when Jerome is going to come over next?" Orchid asked. "Because I also want to apologize to him."

       "Really?" I asked.

       "Well, yeah," Orchid said. "I've been judging him based on what everyone else says about him but if he's your friend, he can't be that bad. Besides... He knows about your..."

       "Self harming?" 

       "Yeah... You don't just tell anyone about it so... Clearly Jerome is a really good friend if you told him. Besides, the way he sasses Ryder is kind of funny."

       "Yeah, it is," I admitted, still wanting to tell Orchid about me and Jerome. The urge just wasn't going away at all and honestly, I didn't think it will. Part of me just really wanted to tell her.

       I wasn't sure about her views about two males being in a relationship but Orchid never seemed like the type of person to judge people in that way. Besides, she has always been here for me, like on the first day of school. When I got detention, she made sure to sit outside of the room where I could still see her so I wouldn't feel completely alone. Sure, it wasn't the same as having her right beside me but she at least waited there the whole time. She didn't once move.

       In fact, she kept making faces to try to get me to laugh or at the very least smile.

       I could do it. I could tell her.

       It did take some time to build up the courage to say even one word to start the conversation, and my heart was beating quite fast at the thought of admitting to someone in my family that I was gay for the first time.

       I didn't even really get the chance to admit it to Mom. She just happened to open the door when Jerome and I were about to kiss.

       "Orchid?" I said. "Can I... Can I tell you something?"

       "Of course," Orchid said. "You can tell me anything. Well, unless you're reminding me about homework or something. Then you can't tell me that."

       "It's not about homework," I said. "Or school, for that matter. It's... It's something I don't want anyone to know yet so..."

       Orchid pretended to zip her lips and lock it before throwing away the key.

       "Okay, so..." I tried to find out how I could tell her because suddenly, just saying I'm gay wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. 

       Maybe I could start by telling her how Jerome and I got together...

       "Remember how I wanted to go to the party with you, Alan, and Ryder?" I asked. "W-well, I didn't really want to go to the party. I knew Jerome was going to be there and I wanted to see him because... I was ignoring him."

       "You wanted to see him because you were ignoring him?" Orchid asked. 

       "I-I know, it sounds... weird," I said. "It's just... He was constantly calling me and texting me but I couldn't bring myself to answer. I... figured that if I saw him in person, I... I couldn't back down from the impending conversation..."

       "About...?"

       I took a deep breath, looking away from Orchid so I didn't have to see her facial expression when I said it. "About our... almost kiss. We... almost kissed. We would have if... if we weren't interrupted. But... we weren't interrupted at the party. We... kissed there. Well, outside of it, really. He told me that he liked me and I told him the same thing... We've... been dating ever since and... I really like him."