Loud Like Love

Chapter Twenty-One: Loud Like Love

'You have zero reason to be jealous,' said Patrick, still smiling. 'I'm over him, and I know for a fact that he's over me.' Nick looked away, wondering how Patrick could be so sure about that. 'You do realise,' Patrick continued, 'that the reason we broke up is that Dave's so in love with you that I didn't even stand a chance, right?'

Nick looked up sharply, meeting Patrick's gaze, and swallowed. 'No. I . . . I didn't realise that.'

'It was after that gig of yours, back in November. I knew all along that it wouldn't last, though. Knew he wasn't over you. Even told him as much when we started it. It was sad, but . . .' Patrick shrugged. 'Now I have Ali. Couldn't be happier.' He put his hands in his pockets. 'If I'm honest, I think Dave invited me out tonight so I could say that to you. He might not be aware of it, but he thinks he has to prove it to you. Does he?'

Nick blushed and looked away again. 'He doesn't have to prove anything to me.'

'Didn't think so. So what are you gonna do now?'

And in that moment, Nick knew exactly what he was going to do. He sipped his ale and remained standing, waiting in silence. Patrick sat down in the meantime, chatting with Alan. Nick felt suddenly nervous, his heart racing, and when Dave reappeared carrying a cider for himself, a coke for Mandi, and a glass of wine for Mel, Nick's heart nearly stopped. He swallowed, and as soon as Dave had put down his glass, Nick grabbed hold of his arm.

'I'm done thinking,' he said, and Dave met his gaze.

'What?'

'I said, I'm done thinking!' Nick repeated, a bit louder over the din.

Dave gave a half smile. 'Yeah. Me too.'

'Shall we talk, then?'

'Yeah. Let's go outside.'

They left their drinks on the table and walked towards the door. Neither of them brought their coats, but it wasn't especially cold in the late March evening. They walked a bit away from the entrance, away from the smokers.

'So,' said Nick, sounding braver than he felt, leaning back against the wall. 'What did you come up with?'

'You first?' Dave tried.

'I asked you first.'

'You told me you were done thinking first,' Dave retorted, and Nick looked down at the ground, smiling. Then he met Dave's gaze.

'I love you,' he said simply. 'That's what I came up with. I've never loved anyone else, not like that. You're the only one.'

Dave drew in a sharp breath of air and let it out again, slowly. 'Yeah,' he said softly. 'I love you too. I couldn't stop.'

'So, what do we do about that?' asked Nick.

Dave didn't answer. Instead, he leaned into Nick's space and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Nick grabbed hold of his hips, pulling him closer, and deepened the kiss, letting himself get lost in it. When they pulled apart, he sighed, gazing into Dave's blue, blue eyes. 'I'm sorry. About everything.'

'I'm sorry too,' said Dave. 'I held you to a standard that—'

Nick shook his head. 'I bollocksed it up. It was my fault. Not cheating on the guy you love is the lowest possible standard you can hold someone to.'

'Yeah, but I forgave you for that ages ago.' Dave took Nick's hand, lacing their fingers together, and brought it to his lips to kiss his knuckles, one by one. 'I was scared.'

'Me too.'

'I'm not scared anymore.'

'Me neither.'