𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 ✓

n-i-n-e-t-e-e-n

"No they haven't, I'm exactly the same," Zayn sighs, sadness on his face.

"No you aren't love. You've changed. Not in who you are, just in this situation with Harry. You're eager to talk to him, you look forward to spending time with him, you're comfortable with being with him when it used to just be us two, and you smiled at him," Niall is even more confused now, but Zayn's heart is pounding in his chest. He's so bloody nervous.

"He's my friend, of course I smile at him," Zayn sighs, his gaze falling down to where his hands are resting on Niall's.

"You smiled at him the way you used to smile at me. Back when you were falling," Niall pulls his hands out from under Zayn's, standing up and taking a step back.

"No I didn't, stop talkin' shit. I didn't do that and you fuckin' know it," Niall points at Zayn accusingly, his accent growing thicker. It always does that when he gets upset.

"Niall, baby, listen to me," Zayn stands up, his hands out in front of him as if he's appeasing a rampaging horse, "I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just trying to tell you what I've noticed lately. You told him about your future plans and you've told him things about me that only you and my family know. He is not my friend, Niall. Not in the way he's become yours.

"And I'm not even picking a fight with you over me feeling vulnerable and exposed in a way that I shouldn't be, this is just me being honest," Niall scoffs, crossing his arms and walking over to the edge of the deck, the moon slowly rising in the sky behind him.

"This is ridiculous, Zayn. What are you trying to say? That I'm falling for Harry? That's bloody fucking impossible because my heart has been yours since day one, even if you didn't realize it," Zayn sighs, his hands falling back down at his sides as Niall's voice is directed at the lake while his words strike at Zayn's heart.

"I fought so hard to get to you, to win your heart the way you'd already won mine. I was yours from the moment you looked at me, from the moment you first kissed me that day on the footie pitch. And I'm fine with that. But it took me ages to get to where I am in your heart, in your life. Then I turn around, after three and a half years together, and I see this curly bloke waltzing into your life, into your circle, in a matter of weeks. How do you think that makes me feel? Knowing someone else could win your heart right out from under me?" Zayn can hardly stop the word vomit coming from him.

Why is he saying this?

He's not actually upset about how long it took to win Niall's heart, so why is he sounding like he is?

"I think it makes you feel jealous, and insecure. I think you feel inferior to him because you know my family approves of him while they could care less about you," He turns around as he speaks, the words sounding like venom and feeling like knives as they pierce Zayn's heart, "I think you're self-conscious because he's everything everyone has ever wanted for me and you feel small."

Zayn takes a breath, betrayal and heartache flashing across his face as Niall's words sink into him.

"Maybe I do," He admits with a small shrug, "Maybe I feel small and insecure because of him. I can admit that. But for you to stand over there and act like nothing is wrong - like you're not falling for your fiancé while your boyfriend is standing here, begging you to be honest with him, that's what hurts the most.

"I just wanted you to talk to me so we could ease whatever fears we might have. And while it appears you have none, mine have just multiplied tenfold," Zayn picks up their plates and cutlery, piling it up in one hand and opening the sliding door with the other.