+*jackie*+
three months. three months since i last talked to the boys, let alone seen them. three months ago, alejandro broke up with me, which caused me to end my friendship with all of the boys, besides alvaro of course. i couldn't bring myself to stop talking to him just after we became friends again.
"jackie, it's been three months, can you tell me why now?" alvaro said, coming and sitting on my bed. no one, except me, knew why i had stopped talking to the boys. "varo... it's complicated," i sigh, looking up at the boy.
"no, what's complicated, is that i have to lie to my bestfriend about where i'm going, and that i haven't talked to you either," alvaro says, making me feel bad. "i feel like shit everytime i lie and see the looks on their faces," he says getting up and pacing around the room.
"fine, i'll tell you," i give in, catching the peruvian by surprise. "okay, spill," he says, taking a seat back on the bed and watching me intently. "so, before i got here, you guys were all bestfriends, right?" i say, trying to make him see it my way.
"yeah," he says, nodding in agreement. "okay, keep that in mind," i tell him, sitting up and getting ready to explain. "so, when i got here, immediately, i fell for kairi, we all know that. so when he and vic pulled that stunt at the party, you guys were there for me."
"and i appreciate it, but that came with the price of you guys not being friends with kairi. i caused a rift in your guys' friend group," i tell him, twiddling with my thumbs. "and then, me and alex started messing around, which was bad on my part, because i should've known better than to mess with my ex's friend."
"but still, i couldn't help it that i liked him," i say, him nodding, letting me know he was listening. "so when me and alex broke up, i didnt want another cause another separation in the friend group," i say quietly.
"so i took that as my opportunity to separate myself from the group... i would've felt bad if i was the reason you guys weren't friends anymore," i sigh, looking up at him. "and now look at you guys, you're all bestfriends again, just like how it was before i got here."
"and it's like that because i'm not around anymore," i say, giving him a half smile. "jackie.. i get what you're saying, but you don't know how miserable they are without you," alvaro says, trying to reason with me.
"alvaro, they're better off without me," i say laughing, trying to lighten the mood. "but they're not j, mattia cried when he realized you were serious about not talking to them," he says, making a feeling of guilt grow in my stomach.
"you were mattia's bestfriend," alvaro says. "the only times i've seen him cry are when him and jenna broke up, and then when you stopped talking to us," he continues, a frown making its way on my face at the thought of him crying.
"roshaun and robert get sad at the mention of your name, pinto blames kairi and ale, all the time, and alex always talks about how he misses you, kairi literally leaves at the mention of your name because he's so upset about it" he says, making my heart hurt. "they miss you a lot, and maybe they didn't know you for long, but they do love you."
"so this whole 'better off without me' thing you have in your head, has gotta go," alvaro says, standing up and grabbing his phone off the couch. he sits down next to me, but i wasn't paying much attention, due to all the thoughts running through my head.
"alvaro... i didnt know... why didn't you tell me," i ask him, feeling bad that i caused all of this. "because any time i mentioned them, you changed the topic or said you had to go," he says honestly, making me think about all the times he did try to bring them up.
"fuck, i'm sorry varo," i sigh, resting my head on his shoulder. "it's not me you should be apologizing to, its them," he says, opening their groupchat and typing out a message. "what are you doing?" i ask, reaching over to grab his phone, but he moved it too quick.
"i sent them a text asking to meet at my house," he says, standing up and grabbing his bag. "come on," he says, reaching his hand out for mine. "alvaro, please, no, not today," i say, not ready to face them yet.
"jackie, please, for me, you owe me," he says, pleading with me. "i'm scared," i confess, looking up at the boy who was waiting for me to get off the bed. "don't be, it's the guys," he says, grabbing my hand and yanking me up.
"i'm only going cause i love you," i say, grabbing a jacket and my shoes. "you mean because you love and miss them," he smiles, walking out of my room, me following right behind him.
sorry for da time skip girlies
