Winter love

Selfish

"Who names their kid Snowy?!"
"Yeah, like what kind of name is that?!"
"Just leave me alone"
Everything went black after that. Everyday this would happen and I'd always end up in the same place; the nurses office.
I hated school so much, and I only had two people to blame for that.
Chris and his girlfriend Katie. They have always hated me ever since Sebastian started hanging out with me. They hated the idea of me and him together and would do anything and everything to stop it.
As I woke up, I noticed Sebastian was sitting by me on his phone. I looked at the time and saw that we where half way through forth period.
"Sebby, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class?" I asked him
"Well yeah, but you're way more important than class." He smiled.
He always knew what to say at times like this and it warmed my heart every time.
"How long have you been in here for?" I asked him.
"I don't know, probably ever since you got in here an hour ago." He said calmly.
'An hour ago?!' I thought to myself. He must really care for me.
I got up out of the bed and walked over to Sebastian. As I was standing in front of him he got up out of his chair and kissed me.
Now me and Sebastian weren't necessarily dating. The only reason I say that is because the people here don't like the idea of Sebastian dating a guy, let alone me.
The kiss lasted for a minute and we broke apart. He smiled at me and hugged me. I hugged back.
"We should probably go to class now." I said trailing off.
"Yeah." He agreed.
We grabbed our things and got a pass to excuse us from being late. Seb decided to take me to my class first.
He kissed me one last time and then headed to his class.
As I walk into my class i noticed a lot of people were staring. It made me feel uncomfortable, but soon ignored it.
I went to my seat and instantly regretted walking into the class. Katie was sitting right behind me with a smirk on her face.
"I know what you and Sebastian have been doing."
"Why can't you just leave me alone? So what if he likes me, it's his choice." I said
"Well it's also your choice to stay alive, so it's In your best interest to stay away from him."
I knew that I should listen to her if I wanted to keep my head, but something inside me said that I shouldn't.
Class ended and I immediately went to Seb and I's secret spot.
Normally after every class we meet up and talk.
When I got there I noticed that he was already there waiting for me.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey~" he smirked.
I sat down next to him and we sat there for a while. We honestly didn't care if we missed class or not. The reason I didn't is because my parents are never home, plus they don't notice me enough to care.
"You won't leave me right?" I asked, scared of the answer I might get.
"Of course not. What made you think that?" He asked concerned.
"It's nothing really." I lied.
I guess he could tell that I was lying because not even a second after he kissed me. I didn't bother to push back or anything and just went with it.
After a few seconds, I felt his hand move to my waste and his other to me cheek. I then moved mine to his neck. He licked my bottom lip asking for entrance, to which I granted.
The kiss got more heated and he pulled me on top of him. This kiss was so sweet and it seemed like it would have become something else if we weren't at school.
I knew this was wrong, and that I could possibly get in huge trouble, but I didn't care. I guess you could call me selfish, but I loved him. He always knew how to cheer me up and told me he loved me. I didn't want to give that up.
We finally pulled away from the kiss due to the lack of oxygen we were getting. As we did, a thin trail of saliva connected us. Both out of breath, we sat up and fixed ourselves up.
"Snow..?" Seb asked.
"Yeah?" I panted.
"Let's go to my house after school and 'study'" he smiled.
"Ok." I agreed and got up off of him.
I let out a hand to help him up. As he got up he pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear three soft words before leaving me.
'What did I do to deserve a guy like him' I asked myself.
Sebastian was the best. He was sweet and kind. Handsome and loving. He was perfect.
School ended and I went to go meet up with Seb at the front of the school. When I got there I saw him and some people talking. I walked up closer and saw it was two girls and a boy.
I questioned who they were at first but then just went with it. Before I could get to them I saw the guy had kissed him on the lips.
I stood there shocked. I couldn't believe what I saw. Seb didn't seem to be pushing him back either.
I walked up to them and pushed the guy off and pulled Seb away.
He could tell I was mad but didn't want to say anything.
As we got to his house, we walked upstairs to his room and sat down.
I was on the bed and he was next to the door.
Moments later I stared to cry. He ran over as fast as he could and hugged me. He told me everything was alright and that he would still never leave me for anyone.
The more I thought about it, the more tears fell.
He kissed me and started to sing me my favorite song. As he sang, I cuddled up to him and tried my best not to cry.
After a while I could feel myself more calm.
"Are you alright now?"
"Yeah. I think so."
"Good"
He kissed my forehead and hugged me tighter. I wanted to stay like that forever, but it didn't last long. His brother walked in and told us that Seb had to leave.
Sebastian has an older brother named Eren. He completely supported us and wanted the best for us. He was just as great as a guy than Sebastian was.
"Please don't leave." I pleaded.
He smiled and gave me one last kiss on the lips.
"How about you stay here for a while and sleep and I promise that when I get back we'll cuddle, alright?" He comprised. I nodded my head and watched him leave.
I walked up to his closet and pulled out one of his hoodies and put it on.
'He wouldn't mind, right?" I laughed to myself.
I walked back over to the bed, put on my headphones and listened to my music. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know was that I was being shaken to get up.
As I looked to see who it was I heard a slight chuckle coming from beside me. I instantly knew who it was and smiled.
"Why are you wearing my hoodie?" He laughed.
"Well, one, it's comfy and two, because I can."
I said. He rolled his eyes and picked me up bridal style to the couch in his room.
We started to watch a movie, until I felt his hand on my thigh. I blushed slightly and looked at him. He smirked and pulled me in for a kiss.
"Seb?"
"Yes?"
"Can you...um..."
"Can I what?"
"Can we go.... f-further? Please?"
He looked at me with a smirk and kissed me again. His hand that was on my thigh moved up to my waist.
Both of my hands moved to his neck. He licked my bottom lip hoping for entrance. I denied him, wanting to know what would happen.
He smirked into the kiss and pulled his hoodie off of me. He then pushed me down and kissed me with more lust than before. He licked my bottom lip one more time, I of which granted feeling bad.
I took off his shirt and threw it to an unknown spot in the room.
As this was going on, I felt a presence in the room with us.
"Babe"
"Yeah, what's up?"
"I think someone is here." I whispered.
Seb looked over the couch and didn't see anyone. He then got up and went to go check the bathroom in his room. When he came back he locked the door to his room and continued to kiss me.
He instantly put his hand near the top of my shorts. I could feel his hand move slowly downwards. My heart was racing at this point.
I felt his hand on my shaft. I couldn't help but moan to the feeling.
"Sebby~"
"Your moans are beautiful"
I looked like a tomato after he said that. He was so gentle and sweet, and you could tell he didn't want to hurt me. I loved how he made me feel. No one else could ever make me feel this way.
After we finished, I swear I felt someone else in the room with us. I didn't say anything though because I thought I was just hallucinating and that it was probably nothing.
I didn't feel like going home so I stayed with Sebastian. I threw his hoodie back on and put on my shorts.
Seb had left the room a while ago. I went to go look for him, when I heard a crashing sound. With that the power goes out and I'm left all alone.
I left the room in search for Seb. As I got in the kitchen I noticed Seb was on his phone. I run up to him and hug him.
He seemed tense when I did but soon relaxed when he realized it was me.
"Sebby, what's going on?"
"I don't know snow." He kept looking at his phone.
"Let's go back to the room, ok?"
"Ok."
As we walk back to the room, I kept noticing shadows move in the dark. I ignored it at first but when It kept happening I couldn't help but get scared. Seb noticed this and picked me up carrying me to his room.
When we got there he placed me on his bed and sat next to me. He held me and whispered in my ear.
"Babe...I'm scared..."
"I know Snow. But everything will be alright. I promise." I smiled at his confidence in this situation. I knew he would protect me with everything he had.
A few minutes went by and there was a noise outside the door.
"What was that?!" I whispered to Seb.
"I don't know but I'llgo check it ou-"
"Wait! Don't leave please. I don't want to be alone."
He looked at me with a smile and gave me a kiss on the lips.
"I'll be back."
I watched him leave and wondered what the noise was and where it came from.
It's been ten minutes since Sebastian left and I was starting to get worried. I didn't want to leave the room because I was to scared.
As I laid down in the bed I heard the door open to the room.
I froze In place. I heard the footsteps get louder and I wanted to run for my life. They got closer and closer until they stopped.
I waited for something to happen, anything to happen, but nothing. Nothing happened. I sat there and then felt someone next to me. It held me in its arms and I felt familiar warmth.
"I told you I would be back~" He whispered in my ear.
I instantly relaxed and snuggled into him.
"Don't scare me like that!"
"Sorry." He laughed.
I turned around and kissed him. After the kiss I wondered if I should have asked what he saw out there.
"What's wrong Snowy?"
"H-huh? Oh, I was just wondering what you saw out there and why it took you so long to get back."
"Well I checked the entire house, so that's why it took so long. Plus I didn't see anything. It was just dark and seemed like something fell off the table."
Oh. So that's what it was. Well hopefully it's nothing. But that doesn't explain why I felt as if someone was watching my every move. I felt restricted and closed off. But felt a little better with Seb by my side.
I felt tired and fell asleep in his warm arms, trying not to think about half the things that happened today. I felt Seb pull me closer and kissed my forehead.
"Goodnight my love~" Was all he said to me before we fell into a deep slumber.
The next day I woke up to a bunch of calls from my parents. I didn't call them back and just ignored them all together.
I noticed that Seb was in the bathroom, so I decided to find some clothes to wear for the day.
All of his clothes would have been too big so I found some old shorts of his and a black and blue hoodie and called it a day.
As I was getting dressed, Seb walked in the room.
"Hey sexy~" He smirked. I blushed and quickly got dressed.
We went downstairs to the kitchen to eat breakfast. After breakfast, we walked to school.
As we arrived at the school, I saw the guy that kissed Sebastian yesterday. I instantly got mad, but didn't show it.
We slowly approached the school and he noticed us. He smiled and ran over to hug Sebastian. I watched as they greeted each other and wish that the guy would go away.
"Darren meet Snowy. Snowy meet Darren."
"Nice to meet you Snowy." He said with a fake smile.
"Likewise." I sarcastically.
"Why don't I leave you guys to get to know each other while I go grab something real quick." Seb said leaving us alone.
After he was out of sight, Darren stopped his fake smile and turned to me.
"Stay away from him, ok? He's mine, got it?!"
"He's not property, and plus he likes me, not you."
"Oh please. Who would like a nerd like you? I mean your name is 'Snowy' for crying out loud."
I was used to that by now. For some reason everyone hated me and my name.
"What is your problem?"
"You're my problem!"
I honestly have no clue why the world hates me. What did I ever do to deserve this?
After a while Seb came back.
"Hey Sebby~" Darren said in his sweet voice.
'That's my nickname for him' I thought angrily.
"Uh hey."
"Let's walk to class together." Darren said pulling him away.
"Uh ok."
And now I'm all alone...again. Maybe I should just go to class.
I walked to class and noticed everyone in a crowd around Seb and Darren.
"Are you two together?!"
"You guys are so cute together!"
I couldn't help but get mad and jealous. He literally just took Seb away from me. Maybe we can talk in our secret spot after class like always.
After class ended, I went to the basement only to see Seb and Darren there.
"What's he doing in 'our' spot?"
"I thought that since he's our friend that he can know about it too."
"And you didn't think to tell me about this?"
"I didn't think you would get this mad about it."
"Well I am."
"Well maybe you shouldn't be. I don't see what's wrong with him being here."
"Well for one, we made this spot to get away from all the other people. Another thing is that he hates me, just like everyone else does, but you're just to blind to see it."
"What's up with you all of the sudden? Why are you so mad?"
"Because of stuff like this! That's why!"
I felt like crying. I hated fighting with him.
"Well not everything revolves around you,ok?"   Ok that one hurt.
"I'm not making it all about me. I'm just saying that he shouldn't be here."
"Well he's here now so there's no point in saying anything."
"Do you even care?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, do you even care how I feel? Or what half of the things that happen do?"
"Clearly I'm not if it's making you this mad about something so small."
"Everyone wants to take you away from me because they hate me. And what makes it worse is that you don't see it."
"Would you quite being so selfish?!"
"Me selfish?!"
"Yeah! I don't know what happened to make you this way but you've been acting like a real Bitch ever since this morning."
"Excuse me?!"
"You heard me. You've been nothing but a whinny bitch today."
Wow. Now that really hurt me.
"I don't even know why I liked you."
And that was all I needed to hear before storming off with tears streaming down my face. I don't even think he saw them either.
'Selfish, selfish, selfish!'
That was the only thing that played in my head.
'Maybe I am selfish'
I ran to the roof, not caring about my next class and sat down. I cried and cried. The only friend and the only guy that likes me was gone. He had replaced me like that.
The spark in my eyes disappeared and I stopped crying. I went to go get my things and go back home. But before I did I took off Seb's hoodie and went to go give it back.
As I got to the spot I heard voices. I slowly open the door only to hear moans of Seb's name. When I looked in, I couldn't believe what I saw. They were having sex in our spot.
'Guess he really did replace me. And fast too' I thought. I threw the hoodie down on the ground and went home.
I noticed my parents weren't home yet so I went up to my room and plopped on my bed.
My room was dark and cold. I changed into something comfortable, played my music, and stared off into space.
It's been a week since the incident. I haven't left my room since, meaning I didn't eat or go to school.
I knew that not showing up would mean that everyone was happy. Plus i didn't want to get bullied or deal with Sebastian or Darren.
I knew doing this meant that they won, but did I care? No. Who cares if they won. It just means that I'll have a few less things to worry about.
I didn't know if my parents cared that I didn't get out, but they made sure to bring me food and water.
Every now and then I'd eat something, but half the time I was just to upset to do it.
I feel like a coward and an idiot. I felt useless and numb. Emotionally drained. I felt as if I was nothing and the world didn't need me anymore. Not that it did anyway.
I always wondered what Sebastian was doing. If he was with his new friends or his new boyfriend for that matter. But each time I thought of any of that, I would have a mental breakdown and cry for hours.
I had no reason to be in this world other than to be pushed around. But even with that I'm still here.
I heard the doorbell downstairs ring and wondered who it was. Of course I didn't get up to see so I just stayed curious.
After a while I heard my door knock.
'Maybe it's just my parents again' I thought to myself.
Whoever it was walked into my room unannounced.
"Hey." My mom said. I just looked at her.
"Tomorrow you should go back to school, ok?" I still didn't answer.
"Look, I know things are hard right now but you can't stay in your room forever."
"I'll leave you alone, but please...at least try...for me ok?"
We sat there in silence for a while until she left. I honestly didn't want to go back. It was way better here then there. But I knew that I would have to go back eventually.
The next day I woke up and got ready to go to school. I dreaded everything about this but knew it was what I had to do.
I waved my parents goodbye and headed to school.
As usual, I noticed Chris, Katie, Darren, and Sebastian all standing in front of the school.
I decided to walk past them and just head straight to class.
As I was walking I noticed a lot of people give me nasty looks. I knew it was because they wished I didn't come back.
I finally arrived at my class and sat down in the back. I pulled out my earbuds and played my music. After everyone was in class, I saw Sebastian look at me. It looked as if he was observing me. I didn't think much of it and left it alone.
After class was over, I immediately wanted to leave so I wouldn't have to talk to Sebastian or Darren. But it was no use. Sebastian grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the basement.
"Where were you?" Sebastian asked angrily. I didn't answer.
"Where were you?!" His grip on my arms got tighter.
"Why does it matter to you? I mean shouldn't you be with your new boyfriend or something? I mean you guys clearly have a lot of 'fun' back here so I'll leave-"
"No! Answer my question!"
"And why should I huh? Should I answer because you care all of the sudden or just so you can do something else?" I was mad and upset. He literally had sex with another guy and had the audacity to act like he cares for me.
"Look I'm sorry for what happened that day. I wasn't thinking and-"
"And what? You thought it was ok to have sex with another guy?! Is that what this is? You got bored with me so you move on to him but realize that you're just toys to each other and that you want me to be your toy again? I don't think so. You know you really hurt me that day. You knew what I was going through yet you still did it. And what makes it worse is that it took you a week to say something. So whatever you have to say to me save it. I'm done. You've hurt me and broken all my trust for you. So go have fun with the people who hate me. They seem to be better for you anyway."
I tried to leave but his grip became tighter and he pushed me up against the wall.
"Look, I know I messed up but I want to fix it. I love you and only you and I know what I did was wrong. But can you please try and forgive me?"
"If you honestly think this is going to make up for what you've done then you're surely mistaken. You really hurt me and you can't just fix that with an apology. Now if you can excuse me I need to go to class." That was the last thing I said before leaving.
I couldn't tell if he was crying or not but I didn't care. He made me cry so it would just be him knowing how I felt.
As I walked up the stairs, I noticed Darren walking down there.
"Hey! What were you doing done there?!"
"Why don't you go ask your boyfriend? He seems to only care for himself anyway, so he's all yours."
And with that I left. I could tell that Darren was probably smiling like crazy after hearing that.
After school had ended, I went to my looker for something when I saw Sebastian there, as if he was waiting for someone.
"What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to see you."
"Well you saw me. Now go away."
"No. Not until you expect my apology. Look I'm really sorry for what I did to you and I'm such an idiot for hurting you. I know I broke my promise but please. I need to know what I have to do to make it up to you."
I thought about it for a second. If he really wants me to forgive him he needs to earn my trust again.
"Well until you earn my trust back I'm not forgiving you. Plus I need you to see the things they do to me, especially Darren."
"If that's all then I'll do it. I just want to see that beautiful smile and the spark back in your eyes."
Deep down I was blushing, but I couldn't give in that easily, not again anyway.
"Well if you would, tell me the truth to this?"
He looked at me with a confused looked and then nodded his head.
"That day when we fought...why did you two...you know..."
"At the time I was hurt and just wanted a hug...but Darren wanted more than that. I thought that you hated me and Darren was right there. I wanted to run to you and hug you and apologize, but when I saw the hoodie, I realized that I was too late and let Darren get the best of me. What you saw that day...we didn't really do it. Yeah he was moaning and stuff but the only thing I did was jerked him off. I know that you probably don't believe me but just know that I still love you and I hated the fact that I hurt you."
I knew that I was stupid and an idiot but I loved Sebastian. He was my everything, so what I did came as a surprise for the both of us. I kissed him. I knew this was bad but I needed it. I needed him.
He kissed me back and pinned me up against the locker. We made out for a good five minutes until I broke the kiss.
We stared at each other and then kissed again.
"If I wanted to make things official and public... would you want that?"
I thought about his question.
"As much as I would love that I don't think it will happen anytime soon. I mean everyone hates me plus Darren, Chris, and Katie want me dead."
"What if I protect you then?"
"Yeah well I don't want to ruin your reputation anymore than I have."
"Honestly I don't care about that. I care about you."
It warmed my heart that he cared for me like that. I mean, he never really meant to hurt me and he's doing everything he can to get my trust back.
"Hey, why don't we go and find Darren and tell him that I found my soulmate." I smiled at that.
"Ok."
We went to go find Darren and when we did he pushed me away from Seb. Seb didn't seem to like it and pushed him back.
"What's wrong Sebby?"
"Look, you're a nice guy and all but I just don't see you in any way other than a friend. And please call me Sebastian."
"What? So now you love the freak again?"
"Hey! Don't call him that! He's way better than you'll ever be!"
Anyone could tell that Darren was upset by this but left it alone. I smiled at the fact that Darren finally was going to leave me alone.
After school, we decided to go to my house. My parents weren't going to be home until later so we had the place to ourselves.
"Do you forgive me?"
"A little..."
We sat on the bed. We sat there for what felt like hours until he kissed me. I kissed back. After a while I broke the kiss and ran to the living room.
Sebastian was confused but ran after me. He found me crying on the couch and comforted me to the best of his abilities.
I missed his warmth and his cuddles. I missed him in general. I hated everything in me that said otherwise. I wanted to kiss him but couldn't.
"What's wrong?"
I looked at him with tears in my eyes.
"I just....I... w-want t-to..."
"You want to what?"
"I want you! I want you all to myself. I know that's a selfish request but it's true. And I know that we've done some things but I don't care. I only want you."
He smiled at me. He pulled me closer to him and stared at me.
"It may be a selfish request, but it came from the heart. And I don't care if it's selfish. I love you and no one else."
He cupped my face and kissed me with lust and passion. I kissed him back with the same amount of lust and passion.
Seb grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer to him. He slowly moved his hand towards my lower half. When his hand moved across my shaft, I couldn't help but moan.
He loved that only he could make me feel this way.
He stared stroking me faster and faster by the second making me lose my mind.
"S-Se-Seb~"
"Come on baby~ say my name~"
"Sebastian~"
I was a mess. We were all alone, meaning no one to interrupt us.
I don't think we've ever had a time where we wanted each other so bad. We knew what we were doing, we knew what we wanted and how to get it. We needed this. We wanted this.
The passion and the lust that filled the room and our eyes. The feeling of needed each other by our sides. We had everything we needed to survive right there.
"Seb?"
"Yes Snow?"
"Tell me you'll always be honest with me..."
"Babe...is this because of what happened...?"
"No- it's just... what we have, what's going on, I don't want it to stop. It feels to good to let go of..."
He kissed me.
"Of course I'll be honest with you. I'll always be here with you from now on. You and I both know that we need this more than anything and it's too let go of. I love you with all my heart and I promise you this, I will never leave you and if I do... then it must not be me and I'm dead."
We laughed at that.
After we finished, we headed to the shower and then went to go watch a movie. We cuddled until we both feel asleep in each other's arms.
I could tell that what we went through today wasn't going to be the last problem we have. I just hope it's not as bad.
A couple of hours of sleeping, I woke up to a loud crash in the kitchen. I thought it was just my parents coming home and doing things in the kitchen, but when the noise happened again I got concerned.
I got up, leaving Seb to sleep, and headed to the kitchen. When I stepped in the kitchen, I realized that my biggest fear had came to life.
I ran to go get Sebastian, but it felt as if the hallway was a never ending black hole.
I ran and ran as fast as I could until I saw the door to my room.
I tried and tried to open the door. When I finally open the door, I couldn't help but start to cry.
Next thing I know, I'm in a black room with no way in and no way out.