"so what are you gonna do about lover boy?" patrick smirked, shifting his weight so his feet sat in my lap.
"nothing i guess." i murmured, devouring the last of the pizza we had ordered no more than ten minutes ago.
"c'mon ken, you can't just sit around and wait for him to show up at your door with a bouquet of roses and extra large condoms."
"damnit patrick! i come over to your house to have a civilized conversation and all you can think about is..."
"what? say it."
i smacked his leg with a sauce stained fist," i don't wanna!"
"se-"
"i hate you."
"you love me."
"suck my ass."
"maybe later."
patrick, as charming as he had seemed on that first day of preschool, had an embarassingly perverted sense of humor that shone through on a regular basis. we had been best friends ever since he saw me crying at the lunch table, after i had explained it was because i had spilled chocolate milk all over my jonas brothers backpack; he had run as fast as he could to the bathroom and helped me scrub the soaking mess off of nick's crotch. ever since then i had been eternally grateful.
he was the only person i had ever really considered a close friend, or a friend to be brutally honest. i couldn't say the same for patrick, who was constantly engaged in his older friend's frat parties, and occassionally making out with one or two girls in the football locker room. it wasn't a surprise to most people, he was insanely attractive to most of the population at our school. the other half were entirely convinced he was gay.
"hmm," patrick hummed, jabbing a finger at my fatty thigh," remember that girl i was telling you about, maisie?"
"oh yeah. tall, brunette, could fit a small family in her bra?"
"that's the one."
i nodded, urging him to go on.
"she broke up with me."
"awww rick the dick finally got dumped. it's a shame, actually, i thought i was going to have to ask you out and then do the thing myself. it was getting depressing."
patrick gave me the finger, and then continued to eat, his face now contorted in a solemn expression.
"so why'd she break up with you?" i asked, after undergoing what seemed like an hour of awkward silence.
"her dog died. said she needed time to get over a loss. and that my laugh reminded her too much of his bark."
i bit my lip, stifling a laugh in the back of my throat. it was typical for patrick to get sacked like this, but he never actually 'dated'. he just had girls, and usually the girls would run off when they found someone else. but patrick had actually asked this girl out, which said something. morever, i was never very good at comforting people, so i decided to leave it alone.
"well, uh, i should probably get going. i took the early shift at the greenhouse so we could see that movie after. you didn't forget right?"
"of course, i didn't forget,"patricked mocked a tear and pressed a hand to his heart,"why would i miss out on you crying over chick flicks? it's what i live for."
i was relieved to see patrick in a better mood, but it still didn't help that he was probably thinking about the stupid girl again. after all, it was her idea for us to see the movie, and i hadn't wanted to turn it down because patrick had lost some pride.
