When all else fails

Chapter 12

When we landed in Germany, we were all taken off the plane and moved into military ambulances and transported to the hospital. When we got there, we were quickly triaged and moved to the appropriate units and into rooms. With in a few hours of getting to my room I was sent down for a CT scan. About an hour after I got back to the room, a Dr comes in.

"Good evening, I am Dr Wrens I am going to be in managing your care as you are with us" Dr Wrens says as he shakes my hand.

"Good evening" I say.

"You CT scan results are back, and I have good news and bad. The good news there is no additional damage to your intestines. The bad, well your spinal cord was severed not only by the bullet but as well as the bone fragments. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do to repair the damage. You will be paralyzed from the waist down. We are going to schedule you for surgery in a few days to place some rods to stabilize your spine. Hopefully we will be able to send you state side in a week or two. If you have anyone you need would like to call, we can have a Sat phone brought in for a few minutes."

"I really do need to give my wife a call. If I could use the phone, I would greatly appreciate that."

"No problem I will have the nurse bring it buy. The nurse will be able to let you know when we can get you into surgery."

"thank you"

"you are welcome. I am sorry I didn't have better news."

"You are fine I would rather know the truth then some lie just to appease me." He nods as he turns and heads out the door.

In the morning the nurse brings the phone by "I am sorry hun but I can only give you 10 minutes."

"Thank you, I will explain that to her when I speak to her." She turns and heads out the door as I start to dial the number.

The phone rings a few times and Carol answers "Hello"

"Hey honey its Sean"

"Oh my god. How are you I was told you where injured but don't know anything else. Are you ok?"

"Well yes and no. I am ok, yes I was shot. It went through my back and out my stomach. Luckily there wasn't a lot of damage, but it did sever my spinal cord and I am paralyzed."

"Oh shit. I.... I need some time to process this. When will you be home or when can we talk again?"

"Well I should be home in a few weeks I really don't know when we will be able to talk again."

"Then I will see you when you get here. Love you."

"Love you too." And she hangs up. I flop my head back on my pillow and sigh in frustration. I press the call bell the nurse comes in just a few moments after.

"That was quick. Everything alright?" The nurse asks

"Yeah I think. She said that she needs time to process what has happened to me." I say as I hand the phone back.

"I can understand that it's a lot to take in." I nod and agree.

A day later I was in the OR to have the rods placed. Everything went well and recovery was smooth. I went though a little physical therapy and psych therapy. PT to learn how to sit with my current physical condition. Mental to work thought the emotional trauma. I had started eating it was slow at first, just liquids to get my intestines working again, then on to soft finishing with a regular diet. I quickly learned the problem with eating, what goes in must come out at some point. I had no control of when it came out, I would be laying in bed or sitting in my chair then I would smell that I had messed myself. It was incredibly embarrassing having to be cleaned by someone else. A little part did like the fact that I had no control but still embarrassing. It soon became a fact of life. I still had the catheter in, so wetting wasn't an issue it was just the messing that had to be cleaned. The nurse comes in one day and talks with me.

"So, we need to discuss the catheter, you have two options keep it in or take it out. If it stays in, you are going to have UTI's. it's a fact of having a catheter in. Without you won't but will have to clean up more often." She says to me.

"Well then let's take it out. And see how it goes, with no feeling I am afraid I wouldn't know when a UTI started." I say, as I start getting excited deep in the back of my mind.

"Ok I will make the notations and be back to remove it." When she comes back, I watch as she removes the catheter and I watch my urine just dribble out the head of my penis. "well that's a good sign" she says, "we know you won't be retaining anything now."

The sitting was not a problem there was of course pain but nothing I couldn't manage. I was taught how to transfer into a wheelchair myself but instructed to have help as I was in their facility. The week flies by and I am due to transfer state side the next day. I had gone down to the in-hospital store and picked myself up a few things. One being a portable DVD player and some movies. As the time comes closer, I feel more fear about what my life will be like when I get home.

The next day I am wheeled out to the transport and taken to a more civilian aircraft for the flight home. I sleep off and on and watch the movies I had bought. It takes almost 24 hrs. to get to the hospital that Carol works at. I pick up the phone as I was settled and give Carol a call letting her know that I had made it safely, and where I was. She simply tells me that she will see me the next day.

The next day yearly in the morning. The regimental Senior Chief comes to visit me. "HN Fredrickson Its good to see you are well. I am sorry to inform you that you have been medically discharged from the Navy. I have you discharge paperwork here with me a representative from the VA will be stopping by in the next day or two." He hands me a folder.

"I kinda figured that was coming. Thank you for stopping Senior Chief I know you are a busy man."

"Don't think on it. I gladly put anything on hold to see one of my men. You did well and served with honor."

"Thank you again." He shakes my hand and leaves. I open the folder and read my discharge form.

Around noon Carol comes in to see me. She looks angry and set in a course of action. She gives me a brief hug and backs away. "listen Sean, I can't do this. I can't be with a fucking cripple the rest of my life. What is that damn smell. Did you shit yourself."

I blush "yeah it's not like I have any control."

"you damn nasty fucker you wanted this and now you have it. You can just sit in your shit I can't live like this. I didn't marry a fucking cripple, a fucking diaper pissing and shitting cripple none the less" She throws a manila envelope on my lap "Don't fucking call me. Don't fucking talk to me. I can't stand the sight of you" as she turns and storms out the door.

I am at a complete loss; I slowly open the envelope pull out the papers to find they are divorce papers. My head flops back as I start to cry, my world has completely fallen apart. I knew she wouldn't be happy but this. This was too much I lost everything my career, my wife, my home, what was I to do now.