Habits

Changes

"You okay?" Richard asked noticing 'John' worried expression.

Sweeney pushed his fear away the best he could, "Yes. I'm fine fine, I just haven't been around many people lately, but I'll be okay. Let's go inside, it'll get better once I've had a few drinks."

"If you're really ready."

Richard began to walk over to the door Sweeney dragging his feet behind him. Sighing he put on his mask and entered the room met immediately by dozens of dancing couples. Sweeney looked to Richard who smiled nervously up at him.

"Interested in a dance?" He asked taking 'John' by surprise.

"You mean us? Together?" John responded confused.

"I mean only if you want to." Richard answered, "I just figured you'd want to dance with someone you knew."

Sweeney did want to dance with someone he knew, with Eleanore. Just two weeks away from her had taken a toll on him but he feared returning home. He knew he'd caused her pain, done something unforgivable and get didn't want to face that guilt. Why was he so scared? This was his mistake he had to take responsibility and yet he couldn't. His vision began to blur and his breathing became uneven and heavy. He could feel his hands shaking and he turned quickly leaving the building and throwing his mask in the street. Sweeney heard footsteps getting close to him and he sped up.

"John!" Richard called out but Sweeney didn't stop walking, "John wait!"

Sweeney turned on his heel still shaking slightly, "It's not John! I've never been John, I don't want to be John!" All of his anger, sadness, guilt, and fear all escaped at the same time.

"I lied, and that's why you should stay the hell away from me! If you knew who I really was you wouldn't be asking me to dance you'd be begging me to leave! My entire life everyone I cared about tried to force me into a box! Control me. Contain me. All of that pain, all of that anxiety built up. And now look at me, I'm crawling in my skin. I've made huge mistake! Ones you'd find horrifying! Ones you'd find idiotic! Ones you wouldn't believe! Ones I wish I hadn't made! If you knew." His voice was now merely a whisper, "If you knew."

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Careful! Don't drop anything!" Nellie shouted at Toby as he carried in a pile of plates.

"I know, don't worry mum. So where do ya want me to put these?"

"In the cupboards over in the side room, I'm setting up the kitchen in there."

Toby nodded and walked into the small room. He was happy that Nellie was finally moving on. She'd made the decision to take Sweeney's barber shop and make a bakery. Toby had showed undying support and promised he would help out anyway he could. The room was already looking like a kitchen. There was a large counter in the corner and a wall of cupboards behind it. Nellie had been working with the tables in the main room. The shop was slowly growing dark as the sun sunk lower in the sky.

"Alright Toby, once you put those plates away we can leave, I'm sure that your hungry."

"Boy am I!" Toby said running out of the room and out the door leaving Nellie to laugh.

They walked next door to the house in silence. As they walked inside Johanna exited the kitchen wearing an apron and a smile on her face.

"Dinners ready!" She said grinning.

"Thank ya love, I'm actually going to go out on a walk. Toby after dinner take care of the dishes and then go to bed, Johanna you can take the rest of the night off."

With a nod from both Toby and Johanna she left the room and grabbed a coat.  Sweeneys coat. For the past week she'd been escaping the house to think. Sweeney was always the one in her thoughts. She didn't know why. The thoughts of him were no longer as painful. After talking to James she'd realized that she couldn't stay hooked on him. The man was a bastard and he'd always be one but she still wished he would return.

Not so she could see him but so she could scream him for what he'd done. The coat she held was the last of his things, all the rest of his stuff had been thrown away.  This was the last thing of his she had kept, but not for long.

She could see the docks ahead of her footsteps echoed in her ears as she walked onto the docks and looked out at the water. Tears brimmed in her eyes and her grip on the leather loosened. She watched as it fell into the water floating for a moment before slowly sinking below the waves.

It was all over.

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Sweeney woke up in a place he didn't recognize. He felt oddly comfortable which he wasn't used to. He looked around, suddenly realizing he was in Richard's room but Richard was no where to be found. Standing he messed with his hair and left the room. That's when he found Richard asleep on the sofa. Sweeney felt bad knowing, based on the way he felt, he'd gotten drunk the night before.

Richard heard the sound of footsteps and was pulled back to reality. Sitting up he saw 'John' walking outside. After his episode at the dance the two had headed back to the house and Richard had comforted a very drunk 'John'. He still didn't know who he really was and though he wanted to address him correctly but all he knew was 'John'. Standing he left the room heading down to the lower part of the house.

Sweeney threw up yet again. The sound of the bathroom door opening had him looking up to see Richard.

"You alright?" He asked crouching down to 'John's' level and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm fine," he growled, "This isn't the first time I've been drunk."

Richard sighed, "One question for you and then I'll leave you alone for a while."

"What?" Sweeney asked suddenly feeling sick again but holding himself back.

"If your not John, then who are you?"

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"I love you, and I'll fight knowing I finally have a chance at a life with you." Sweeney whispered calmly

~~~

"I SAID LEAVE!" Nellie flinched as Sweeney's hand made contact with her face.

~~~

"I'm sorry, I don't know how it happened. I'm sure you won't forgive me. I woke up this morning in an alley. I'd been drunk, it didn't mean anything I love you Nell."

Eleanore sat up quickly. She shook violently and she could feel tears streaming down her face. Sweeney still haunted her. Why couldn't she just get rid of him? He meant nothing to her, she had moved on and she wouldn't be going back. Nothing would change. Sweeney was gone and he wouldn't be returning. She had to accept the fact she wouldn't see him again.

It was over, she didn't love him. Sweeney Todd could be dead for all she cared. There were only two people in the world she cared about, Toby and Johanna.

Sweeney Todd was a tiny speck in Eleanore Lovett's universe. Nothing more.

A/N: I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this update out. I made so many changes from my original plot idea. I'm really tired and I'm sure there were a lot of mistakes and I apologize but I like the final result. Feedback really helps, thanks for reading!