First-Person Writing

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by Mystical_Mermaid17

by Mystical_Mermaid17

So Musa_Nova, AmanriaPhoenix, and I were practicing first-person writing. Here's what I came up with:

For help with Musa's book:
UGH I DID IT AGAIN. I can't believe how much I have to deal with this s**t. I f**king HATE it. I'm always 'Levin the tall' just shying away, cowering in the background. UGH Why can't I just speak up for once? Why is that so hard for me? I'm always just so quiet, so...so...just so COWARDLY all the time.

And it hasn't even gotten better over time. All this time trying to fix it so desperately, and no improvement. None at all!

I still feel the agonizing, choking, miserable feeling every time I dare to speak.

I want to be a performer but I can barely make a peep in front of a few people.

EVERY time I try to actually DO something to achieve my dream, the feeling comes back, sucking out all hope and life I would've had, the fantasies leaving my head somehow, replaced with the need to ESCAPE.

For sadness and guilt:
I could've done it. I could've been there, protecting her, standing by her, but instead I messed up. I ignored her concerns, acting hastily to my own accord.

When she needed me most I stood far away, frozen in fear, not even able to look her in the eyes.
And now, she's gone.

Yes, there's that little sliver of hope that I cling onto everyday, that she's going to wake up, normal and happy, not the shadow of a person I made her to be.

She was always so close to me, always protecting me, there for me when I needed it. And then the one chance I get to finally do something for her, I f**k it all up. Figures.

It was so easy too, just the pull of a trigger or a couple of fast steps could've saved her. But nope, nothing.

Nothing.
That's basically all she is now, a shell of the talented person she once was. And still, somehow doing more than me.

Her once vivid and rich tones now faded to the dull gray of a beeping machine, holding her only chance at life again.

If I could only go back, God, how I wish I could do it all again.

I just...miss her...So.F—king.Much.
Why did it have to be her that went away?