I didn't speak anymore to the man in front of me, I stared at the ground I heard foot steps walking towards me, a hand was placed on my shoulder, I glanced up and saw the untamed brown hair of Eren "Luna I know your hurting but let's get you back" I nodded at him, shrugging off his and Levi's hands, walking towards my horse, before I mounted her, I turned at looked at my squad, the people who claimed to be my family; even if they kidnapped me and forced me here against my will.
"it be better if you didn't care" I sighed as I sat on the animal, lightly kicking her we took off, leaving the rest of them " I don't need them, I want my mom, my friends" I felt tears leave my eyes again" I wanna go home"
The ride was silent, only the crickets and wind was heard behind me was Levi, Eren and Hanji. I slowed my pace when I got back to camp making Star walk into the stable, I un tacked the animal and put her stuff away, then put her in her stall, I sighed as I patted her soft noise. I said my goodbye to the animal, walking away, keeping my head up, my expression harsh and deadly, I walked up the stairs and into my room, slamming the door behind me, resting my back against it, letting my weight get the better of me as I slid down the door, bringing my knees to my chest, letting my head rest on them, then I let go. I covered my mouth trying to keep myself from sobbing loudly, memories flooded back, the first time I met them. How I tried to push them away, because I didn't need them. Callie's cheerful expression when we helped people who couldn't afford the help. How Sarah was the first one to get on clients asses about payment before I did, how Sarah was so anxious to start the ODM training. Wrenching sobs escaped me, I began screaming; my body convulsed. I didn't want to be here, I want to go home "I want my mom!" I screamed before a soft knock came, "go away" I spat harshly, hoping, praying, it would scare the person on the otherside of the door, but they knocked again; wiping my face with the back of my hand. I stood up and yanked the door open only to find Eren, holding some bread and a water bottle. "What could you possibly want" I shouted at him, he walked in my room setting the food and water on my bed side table, he turned and faced me walking closer, before I could react or fight back, he embraced me in a hug, I tensed up, only to return the hug, letting out my wrenching sobs again, I collapsed again, but he fell with me, never letting me out of the hug "it's going to be okay" he shushed. Burying my face in his neck and just sobbed, "I want to go home Eren" I cried "I- i'm cant do this, not with out them!"
he pulled me away from his shoulder and forced me to look at him
"now you listen to me" he sternly said my gray met his ocean eyes, "you can and will do this, your skill matches the Captains, Your brave and strong, this is just a small thing we all go through." he paused thinking of what to say next, he took in a deep in hail, "I joined the scouts to avenge my mom, all the people we lost, you had no choice. But thanks to Hanji, Mikasa, Armin. Hell even captain Levi. I have a family, people who care about me. What I want you to know is we do care about you, we want you here, Captain Levi has never shown this much interest in a new recruit. just hang in there" he calmly said, I gave him a slight nod when another knock was heard on the hard wood of the door, causing me to jump.
"Eren I need a moment with her" I already knew the husky voice belonged to Levi, Eren went to stand up and leave leaving me on the floor,my eyes diverted towards the ground. Levi shut the door and walked over to me. He didn't say anything.
"Captain im-" I started when he knelt beside me and embraced me, " I know what it's like to loose your friends, I know I already told you how I lost the only ones that I cared for," he whispered in my ear. I sat there, my body stiff. "you are in no way alone in this" he said blatantly, standing up and walking to the door, "we do want you here" with that he walked out my room letting the door close behind him.
I sat on the floor for a while, i refused to move, refusing to eat, I just hated myself. It was my fault they died, "If i didn't leave them they'd be fine" I said softly, I finally stood up grabbing the water bottle and chucking it against the wall. Letting the glass shatter, I screamed in anger, I continued to trash my room, not caring who heard. I needed to let the anger out. During my rage I didn't hear the door slam open, I felt hands on my shoulder, turning me around and embracing me in a hug, I tried to fight back; I needed to fight back. "LET GO OF ME!" I screamed, unable to use my hands. I couldn't hurt the poor bastered as they just held me, they placed one hand on the back of my head, holding me closer, my rage was replaced with depression, and sadness, I couldn't get the words out, I felt water in my eyes , I tried to hold it back but the wall broke "I-I tried so hard! " I cried into the persons arms.
They stayed silent for a while, my sobbing didn't subdue either, with the hand they had on my head they just ran their figures through my hair, giving little shushes here and there, "it'll be okay" he finally said in a hushed voice, I pulled away "E-Eren?" I sobbed
"I heard the chaos and ran up here before the captain did. he sucks at giving calming advice." he smiled, finally releasing me from his grasp, "Luna, this will one day be a memory, a bad one, when you tried so hard," he started "I know this because I was 10 when I lost my mom, I was stuck on revenge, hell I still am. Believe me when I tell you that this will fade, the hurt will still be there, but make sure to keep the memory alive of the fun times, and when you need a good motivator." I nodded whipping my noise with the back of my hand. "Come on, lets get you some dinner, we have a second mission tomorrow morning, and you need your strength" he said standing up, offering me his hand, I took it and he helped me up, we made our way towards the mess hall.
When we got there people stopped what they where doing and looked at us, I kept my head held high, while Eren escorted me to a table with Armin, Mikasa, Horse face, Sasha and a kid with a buzz cut. Eren sat me down next to Armin, then taking a seat next to me, sliding over a bowl of soup and a few slices of bread, and a glass of water "everything okay?" Armin asked as I played with the soup, I didn't answer the coconut, I kept my head down, picking at bits of the bread, "So does Eren like the Levi look a like?" Horse face asked, causing Eren to get mad "SHUT UP HORSE FACE!" he yelled 'this must be a routine for them' I thought as they continued to fight it out, soon enough Eren jumped over the table to attack horse face, but I stood up, grabbed the back of Erens shirt and threw him too the ground, I glared up at horse face and pointed "He was just being a fucking friend, since I lost both of mine today, he was trying to care, your just being a snobby horse faced jackass who has no right to be a scout if all your gonna fucking do is torment your fucking comrades. you are in NO WAY better then anyone here!" I screamed at him, Throwing my hot soup in his face, I heard people whispering about what they just saw "AND YOU!" I shouted pointing at Eren, he stood up to look at me, "thank you" I blaintly said, He gave me a small smile and nodded, I sat back down and ate my bread,
"fuck dude" The shaven bowling ball said, I rolled my eyes.
Dinner went on, and I sat looking at my water, I didn't say anything more, but I heard more shouting "SASHA I SAID GET OUT OF THE RATIONS!" I looked over and saw two people trying to wrestle Sasha away from the food, she was growling like a wild animal. I stood up and walked away from the mess hall, only to run into "Captain" I said with a surprised tone he glanced down at me
"Ackerman, whats going on in there?" he questioned, so I told him about Eren and Horse face "of course" he rolled his eyes
"oh and Sasha is getting into the rations again" I added, the Captains eyes widened as he took off running "BRAUS!" he shouted as he made his way to the mess hall, I followed behind him just to watch, the other two cadets stepped away as Levi grabbed Sasha, forcing the food out of her hands and made her put it back, "My office!" he demanded, she cowered as she made her way there, passing me she kept her head down, Levi glanced at me and nodded, I nodded back and went back to my room. I closed the door and sat on my bed "I feel like I failed you, I'm sorry I should have tried harder to be there, None of this would have happened" I sigh as I stood up, picking up my room, putting things back on the shelves and cleaning up the glass, I threw it in the garbage, I sighed looking at the small room, I felt a hand on my shoulder causing me too jump, I took a swing at the intruder up he stopped my attack, "you did good kid" I heard him say,
"thanks" I shrugged, refusing to look at him, "listen, I want to congratulate you, not many people are brave enough to go against Jean and Eren" I hummed in response "those two have been at eachothers throat since training, so i'm glad to have an extra set of hands to help with them" I don't get why but that's any of my business.
I turned around to face the Captain, "um Sir if I may be blunt" I started he nodded his head "why do you care about what happened's to me? you don't know me, im just a rat you found" I bluntly said, his expression never changed "I want the truth, not this because ""I care about my squad"" Bullshit, you take more intrest in me then most of them" I continued,
"I don't have that answer right now" he responded. I rolled my eyes
"then with all do respect sir, I would like to be alone, like Eren said we have a mission tomorrow" he gave a slight nod and left, closing the door behind him.
I crawled into bed and let the dark nothing consume me.
YOU ARE READING
his daughter
Fanfictionyears after Levi left the underground, he had no idea about her. she was almost like her dad, a clean freak, a thug, but what happens when she has to follow her father footstep and join the survey corps?
