I'm Not Supposed To Like You

T W O

Shigaraki's P.O.V

   I made my way to school that morning confused as ever. I was still caught up on what had happened yesterday afternoon after school. He kissed me. It felt nice and his lips were soft and plump unlike my scarred ones. But he told me not to tell anyone. Why? Knowing him, he probably didn't want to be seen kissing me anywhere or didn't want to be avoided by ninety nine percent of the class. Making my way to the lockers, I braced myself for the slamming locker this time. Grabbing my books and stuffing them in my bag, I sling the bag over my shoulders squinting my eyes, waiting for the slam of my locker door but it never came. Opening my eyes, I'm met with Dabi leaning against my locker door. "What happened to scaring me Dabs?" I asked, smirking at the nick name I had come up with. "One, I saw you were ready for it. It wouldn't have been fun. And two, that nickname sucks. Never call me Dabs again." 

   My smile faltered for a second but I shook it off. "Okay, well I'm heading to class now so..." I didn't know what to do. We were dating that's for sure but I wasn't sure what to do now. We weren't allowed to show it anywhere in public, so when? Walking away, I was close to the door when I was yanked back by my blazer, turquoise eyes meeting my red ones. "You're coming with me." And with that, we snaked our way outside. I knew we weren't supposed to do this but at least we were alone. Sitting on the cement he pulls out a pack of Camel cigarettes and grabs one from the box. Using his blue flames, he focuses it on one finger lighting the top of it and placing it in his mouth. "Why am I out here with you?" I asked, staring out at the pale blue sky. I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

   Taking the cigarette out of his mouth, he blew out a thick ring of grayish smoke towards my face. Coughing, he taps the cigarette, ashes falling to the ground. "Again, why am I out here?" I asked, getting ready to go inside. The bell rang about two minutes ago and I was never late to class. Taking the cigarette in his hands, he puts it to my mouth. "Have you ever smoked?" He asked, letting me take it. I looked at it in my hands, holding it like he did. "No. I've never thought about it." I answered truthfully. "Here." Taking out another he lights it, this time with a lighter. "Put it in your mouth like this and suck in. And whenever you've done that for about five seconds, release your breath and blow out. That's all there is to it." He said, finishing his demonstration, another cloud of smoke around my face. Doing the same as him, I breathed in and choked on smoke coughing up a storm before stomping it to the ground. "I can't do it. I'm gonna fuck up my lungs." I said, my coughs becoming smaller. 

   Looking at me, he blows smoke out again before leaning in. He grabbed my face, pulling me closer. His mouth tasted like smoke and it was a bit unpleasant but I didn't care. At least this was good conformation. I hadn't got enough information yesterday as to what we are. It all happened so fast I was still caught up. Pulling away, he looked back at me before punching me in the nose. I cup my hand over my face, groaning as I felt blood on my hand. "What the fuck was that for? I'm so confused!" I screamed taking off my blazer and wiping the blood from my face. "Hey, don't wipe it all away. If we go in together, I beat you up. That's why we're late." He seriously couldn't think of a better back up story. "I'm confused. After yesterday it's just-, I don't know what to think." I frowned staring at my red shoes. "What's got you so confused. I told you yesterday we are dating. And if anyone finds out you're dead. What more do you need to know?" He asked, finishing his cigarette and smashing it under his foot. 

   "I don't know. What you just punched me?" I asked, pinching the bridge of it to stop the bleeding. "God you're a fucking idiot. Okay, we are dating. That's clear. But I don't want anyone knowing I'm gay so we have to keep this under wraps. So, I have to act out towards you in front of the others, however if we are alone, that's fine. So, anything I say doesn't mean anything. To make it up to you, we will go somewhere today after school, sound good?" He said, holding out his hand to me. Grabbing it, he lifts me up. "Okay, That helps clear my mind. Thanks."

   Opening the doors, we walked to class hand in hand but the second we made it to the door, he pushed me away. I wish it didn't have to be like this. But in his mind it had to be. To be socially acceptable. To fit in with the crowd. It act normal. I knew this would only mean that his outburst towards me would get worse. I knew all these things yet kept it hidden because it's what he wanted. And I was scared of what he would do if I told anyone. It's scary to think that the person you loved most wouldn't want to express that to anyone but you behind closed doors. And my mind was telling me I deserved better. That he wasn't worth the trouble.

    But I loved him too much to let go.