FLAMES (ZARRY)

TEN

Haz's POV:

"No, Benny. See what a hypocrite he is. He said and I quote, It's all just a drama and a chance to play with people's feelings and emotions. Huh. You should have seen him when he said that. I literally felt my blood boil when he said that", I had taken off to my new hideaway, the stack room as soon as the bell rung. I pulled my phone and called Ben right away, complaining and pouring out my anger to him.

When I heard him say that I couldn't think of anything else but to smack his face and beat the shit out of him. But what else can I expect from a player. He proved his true self today with just those words. He doesn't have a heart. I'm so done with him. I don't even want to think about him.

"But, Haz. I told you many times to talk to him, love. I told you that you could get a clear picture of what went down. Did you do it? No. Why are you calling him a hypocrite? You have to know his side of the story. None knows what happened", Ben's concerned voice sounded through the phone.

"But, I don't want to talk to him, bro. It would only take me back to all those times that I've struggled so hard to forget. Talking out with him isn't going to change anything. He was a douchebag and he'd always be one. I'm regretting the fact that I fell in love with him thinking he'd be different. He was so caring, sweet and thoughtful, Benny. You know everyday we spent together was like a dream. It was like he was a totally different person that what he shows to people. He's known as the bad boy without a heart. But with me, he was himself. He laughed without a worry. He was not the person everyone thought. But I think now, everyone was right and I was the dumb and naive one to have fell into his trap", I sighed frustrated with the certain golden boy.

"I understand you kiddo. I can't be there with you now. But, I'd just say don't hate anyone. As I already said, you don't know what was their side of story. I wish I was there now to smack some sense into you right now. I agree that he hurt you and I was angry too. But later I figured, I shouldn't hold grudge without knowing the whole story. So, I would advise the same to you too, love. Life is short to hold grudges and hate people", he advised in the exact elder brother tone.

"I get that Benny. I'll talk to you later, yeah? I've to go now", I spoke into the phone before hanging up.

I thought over what Ben said and decided talking it out with him. I needed the closure I need in my life. I have someone waiting for my reply so I had to do it.

I paced around the room deciding what to do before settling on the ottoman and hugging my knees close to me. I'm not sure if I want to talk to him after everything that had happened. I was lost staring at the blank light pink wall in front of me while my fingers unconsciously played with the ring on my chain.

"Remember you should never remove this, Haz. I saved up my pocket money penny by penny to gift you this for Christmas. This should always remind you of me. See, I got it engraved with our initials babe. There's no Harry without Zayn and no Zayn without Harry.", He said placing the ring on my right ring finger.

My mind replayed that Christmas evening, scene by scene. It was the first Christmas we spent as something more than friends. We didn't label ourselves but we knew we crossed the borders and limits that friendship laid. I even had the plan of proposing him on the New Year's Eve but it all went down the drain on that fateful night, merely two days after Christmas.

"He gave me the gift and made me promise not to remove it ever, just to leave me two days later. Huh", I scoffed, talking to myself.

"Don't blame only him, Harry. You gave him what he needed. So he didn't want you anymore", my mind reminded me of the worst mistake of my life. I closed my eyes when I felt tears run down my cheeks.

"Z. Babe? Where are you gonna spend your Christmas tomorrow? I know my parents are on the other side of the globe for a business meeting. What about you?", I asked lying my head on his lap while he was leaning himself against the headboard.

It was the Christmas Eve but we decided to spend it together, given our parents weren't even bothered about spending the day with us.

"I don't know, Haz. Dad has been out of state for a while now. He said something about an important case. Mom won't be home too because Christmas evening would be filled with people and families spending together. I know it because Don had taken Saf and wali with her to Grandpa. I didn't want to go because I knew you'd be alone too. I wanted to be here with you and spend this Christmas with you babe", he said sounding sad and lonely.

I couldn't see him so unhappy. We were sailing in the same boat with our parents totally forgetting they have children who need their time to spend festivities with them. But, guess we were unlucky.

I held his hand which were running through my hair, before looking up at him. I saw the loneliness in his eyes which were reflected in mine too. I sat up immediately but thanks to my clumsy self that I fell upon him, face to face. We stared at each other lost into those deep drowning eyes. His eyes drifted towards my lips before looking back at me and I don't know who leant in first before our lips met softly, making me close my eyes instinctively. We just tested the waters before he pressed my waist lightly making me open my mouth to let him in. Our tongues danced together, moving synchronously. I tugged his hair tightly before kissing him more passionately while he held my cheeks to keep me in place. We kissed hard wanting to dominate the other. Our kiss soon escalated into a full blown make out while, our hands roamed each other's body. I slipped my hands into his t-shirt and tugged at it wanting to be removed. He complied and went on to remove mine. Our hands never left each other's body, roaming and discovering all the new places to touch. Soon our other clothes were on the floor.

He looked at me concerned before kissing my forehead lightly, "are you sure about this, Haz? I don't want you to regret anything", he questioned which made me fall more in love with him than before.

"I don't want this with anyone else, Zee. I won't regret anything. Go on. I trust you, babe", I replied confidently looking into his eyes.

"I'd never hurt you, baby".

My eyes flew open at that thought. I started full on crying, not caring about the loud sobs. I believed him. I trusted him. I gave him my whole self but he broke it apart. He broke me physically, mentally and emotionally.

"I hate you, Zayn. I hate myself for loving you. I hate myself", I shouted at the top of my lungs without a care about anyone hearing. I started thrashing around whatever I could find.

I fell to my knees, unable to control my tears. I cried loudly realising that I had no shoulder to cry upon. I cried feeling pity for my own lonely self. I cried for ever loving someone. I cried and cried and cried. I felt myself losing my breath. I frantically pulled up my back pack and pulled out the pump before taking it towards my mouth. I felt myself calming down but my mind started replaying a single sentence over and over again,

"I hate you, Zayn. I hate myself. I hate ever falling in love with you", I repeated to myself.

I mumbled incoherent words when I felt my eyes heavy before sleep took me over.

"But, I still love you more."

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To be continued... 💚💛

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