Love & Great Buildings

SIXTEEN

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

It wasn't that Rosemary purposely chose to not speak with Tom over the past week; she'd had every intention of reaching out to him even if just to hear his voice and make sure he was really alright. She knew his schedule would be demanding and that he would most likely run himself very near ragged. That was just how he was with work, or at least how he had been in years past. She didn't think much would have changed in that respect...It was just that time and circumstance seemed to get away with her. Between the shops, planning her mother's birthday with a busy aunt and a loving but admittedly scattered father, and now Adam's reappearance in her life, she'd been struggling to keep everything in balance. She had told herself, time and time again, that once things settled she would make herself sit and call him. She had promised and Tom deserved at least that much of her.

She had done a fair bit of thinking since he'd left; hadn't stopped since he'd walked out the door early that Friday morning if she was being completely honest with herself. She hadn't been able to sleep that night, her mind replaying all that had happened, screaming at her to do something, say something, anything at all. She cursed herself for the way she had panicked, her clumsy refusal, and for the way she had pled for more time. She felt like the worst sort of person; playing with his emotions, leading him on. She hadn't meant to, had been trying everything she could not to do so. She knew how that felt, knew the pain and anguish it caused and regardless of their past, she couldn't do that to him; to anyone.

And by Sunday morning a cool, certain sense of resolve had settled upon her. She would call him, talk with him, let him know what was going on in her head. He deserved that much. The only hitch, as far as she could see other than the sheer nerve it would take but that was thought for a different time, was figuring out when to call. She hadn't a clue where in the world Tom was, not specifically; he hadn't gone into great detail and she hadn't bothered to ask. The last thing she wanted to do was call him during the middle of his night and mess up what little sleep he would manage to scrounge together. But it was a risk she would have to take. She knew she couldn't put this off. Not any longer. It wouldn't be fair to either of them.

Rosemary had been utterly distracted the entirety of the day, torn between worry of just what she was going to say and dredging up the nerve to actually pick up the phone and dial. As each hour passed she told herself she would try during the next one; on and on and on until the day was all but spent and she had nothing to show for it. She hated how she was hesitating; even knowing what she needed to do couldn't seem to force her hand. She was a coward of the worst sort.

Her uncertainty bled heavily into the next morning and she felt as though she had been all but useless to Jules and to the shop. Rosemary couldn't seem to focus on anything at all and it was driving her out of her mind with frustration. She needed to talk to Tom but making herself do so was another matter entirely. But it wasn't something she could put off, not if she wanted to have any chance of keeping him in her life. And she knew with a certainty that she needed him in her life.

But when the door opened and Adam's voice called her name everything else had fled from her mind. He was there. After nearly a year of nothing he was suddenly there. Why was he there? Why now? She couldn't make sense of it, could barely think. She'd stood, frozen in shock and confusion as Adam slowly made his way towards the counter and towards her. His smile was soft, hesitant, and unsure. And when she studied his face she could see the same emotions swirling in his eyes. Neither spoke for what felt like an age and Rosemary could feel Jules' eyes on them both.

Adam was the first to break. "I...I'm glad I caught you here...It's been...God, forever. How are you?"

She had to fight the urge to laugh aloud. That was a loaded question if she'd ever heard one. Rosemary, instead, smiled at him. She really was, in truth, glad to see him. Despite the pain she'd felt at losing him, losing them, she had missed simply being able to talk with him about stupid, silly things. He'd been such an important part of her life...And then he had just been gone. It had been their decision, his and hers, a clean break for all intents and purposes. And it had made sense. Both were hurting and both knew that with the way things stood, they wouldn't have worked. Keeping in contact would have only prolonged their pain. She knew that but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt. Or that she hadn't grieved the loss of what they were and what they could have been.