The Black Phoenix Meets Flashy

Prolouge

The loud bang of a gunshot echos through the now messy, disheveled room. Random body parts and weapons are scattered around on the floor along with the ever-growing pools of blood.

A sickening pop is heard as a young woman's dislocated shoulder snaps back into place. She rolls her shoulder and cranes her neck before she looks down and notices the knife sticking out of her abdomen. Without a second thought she reaches down and yanks it out. She wipes the blood on the knife off onto her leather-clad leg and brings it up to her face. Her brown eyes study the knife before she hums and slides it into her boot for safekeeping.

The leather-clad teen glances around the room and her smile widens as she sees the stomach-churning mess of guts and blood that surrounds her. A small giggle escapes her lips before she is cut off by a steady beeping coming from her wrist. She quickly looks down at it and pouts.

A pink Hello Kitty watch is strapped securely around her wrist and it is beeping and flashing bold, pixel numbers.

3:00 am

"Aw, Shit. I'm gonna be late for the seventh time this week..."

---Le time skip brought to you by Taco Bell---

The brown-eyed brunette lands in a 'superhero landing' in front of her (well, more like Al's) apartment. Wisps of fire and smoke dance around her and a new scorch mark is added to the vast collection that already marks the cracked sidewalk.

She rises from her crouched position and makes her way towards the front door. Not wasting any time she hastily swings open the door and makes a beeline to her room. Sadly before she can make it there she is stopped by a gruff distorted voice.

"Jay Wilson."

She quickly turns around aiming her gun at the mysterious figure. The indistinguishable (sweet Canada that's a big word) figure lurking in the shadows steps out to reveal. . .

"Dad, what the shit!"

There standing in front of her is her father wearing nothing but an apron saying "Kiss the Merc" and a chef hat with a poorly drawn Deadpool symbol on it. The man, Wade, holds two burritos and has a third shoved in his mouth.

Jay's father swallows the burrito that was stuffed in his mouth and smiles at her.
"Hey, Jr. ha-" Wade starts to say but is cut off by Jay saying, "Gah! Would it kill you to put on some fucking pants?! No one wants to see your wrinkly, smashed avocado looking ass!"

Her father gasps dramatically and clutches his chest where his heart lays. "Jr! You wound me!"

Jay just rolls her eyes and pushes her gun back into its bedazzled holster.  "Whatever. I'm going to bed," she mutters as she walks away towards her bedroom.

Her door closes with a loud bang, but before she lets go of the knob a voice, in her head, yells at her.

Stop being an angsty teen! Apologize to your father!

A sigh escapes her lips and she swings open her door. Jay glances towards the kitchen where her dad stands a childish pout etched on his face.

"Good night, dad. I love you."

She doesn't wait for a reply as she once again closes her door. Jay then proceeds to peel off her blood caked suit, hop in the shower, throw on a Wolverine T-Shirt, and climb in bed.

Jay somehow manages to get underneath the giant mound of blankets and stuffed animals, and falls asleep tightly holding on to a stuffed unicorn.

"Good night, Captain Sprinkles."