Remember - Ruel Van Dijk

Two

Friday - 3:30 pm

"I'm so sorry, I have to go now." Isla's soft voice projects through the speaker of my phone, making me pick it up.

"Oh, where to?" I ask, looking at my reflection in the mirror in front of me. I need to wash my hair.

"My friend's house. He wants me to help him with his homework."

"Cool." I feel a twinge of jealousy, but I shake it off. She moved. She can have other friends. "So it's a guy?"

"Yeah, all of my friends are guys. It's quite a change."

"Mm, I bet it is." I rest my head on my hands, letting my fingers glide through my hair. "Well, um, I don't want you to be late. Have fun."

"Okay, thanks. I will. Bye."

"See ya."

I wait a second, trying to decide if I should maybe tell her about what I heard my parents talking about, but before I can, the call ends, showing that she had hung up.

I let out a breath, letting my thoughts wander for a minute or two before reeling them back in. I stand from my seat and make my way to the bathroom, running the water in the shower for a few seconds before it warms up to my preferred temperature. I undress and stand under the faucet, letting the warm water run down my hair and body.

My thoughts are let loose again, and before I know it, my tears are mixing with the water gliding down my face. I didn't even realise I needed to cry. I don't feel sad, or angry.

I feel overwhelmed.

And pressured.

And tired.

I try my hardest to hold back any sobs as someone might hear me, but I don't try to hold back the tears.

Ten minutes later, I turn off the water and grab the folded towel on the counter. I dry myself before looking at my reflection in the mirror. I can see my red eyes and I take a few minutes to calm myself down, looking at everything in the room except for the mirror. I can't even explain why. I've never had any issues with the way I look, but for some reason it's now that any underlying issues are shining through.

I really fucking hate it.

"Ruel, honey." A soft knock on the door pulls me back into reality. "You've been in there awhile. Is everything okay?"

"Yep, everything's fine." I answered them, hoping that the simple sentence was believable enough. "I'll be out in a minute." I added, just to be sure.

I didn't get a response, letting me let out a sigh before pacing back to my bedroom. I put on the first clothes I found, not caring too much if they were clean or not. As I turned to leave the room, my small toe collided with the corner of my bed, causing me to yelp in pain and fall onto the mattress, holding my foot for comfort.

Once the pain had subsided, I grabbed my phone, scrolling through the text conversations that I had had with Isla. It wasn't anything exciting - just simple 'hello's and 'how are you's - but it was enough. Sometimes, I could even hear her through the words.

I debated with myself for a while, letting my fingers tap sentences out before deleting them, not sure what it was that I wanted to tell her or how I wanted to tell her, just that I wanted to tell her something.

I let out a frustrated groan before typing the first thing that came into my mind, hitting send before throwing my phone to the other side of the bed. I turned over and buried my head in a pillow.

I'm such an idiot.