Loud Like Love

Chapter Eleven: Exit Wounds

'Don't be so hard on yourself, Nick. You've done plenty right. We all fuck up, to lesser or greater extent. Doesn't make you a bad person. Just makes you human. You do know that, right?'

Nick shrugged. 'I guess. Oh, by the way, something interesting happened on Friday. We got a letter, from my aunt Maria, who we haven't heard from since before Mum and Dad split up. She's coming to visit week before Christmas.'

'What, she just suddenly got in touch?'

'She's been in South America for nearly twenty years. Brazil or something. Got married, even. Apparently, they got divorced this year, and they had no kids, so she decided to move back home out of the blue. So now she wants to see us. I don't even know what she looks like. She and Dad had a falling out, as I understand it. Guess they're gonna try to patch things up now.' Nick gave a snort. ''Cause he's so good at patching things up with people, my dad.'

Matt gave Nick's hand a squeeze. 'How long has it been since you saw him?'

'About three years? Four? You'd think he'd have time to come up from Plymouth to see his kids every once in a while. That time, Zoë and I went down to see him. He pretty much ignored us the whole time, he was so busy with his new family and his new kids. Since then, it's basically been postcards at Christmas, twenty quid every birthday, and that's it. He pays child support for me.' Nick shrugged. 'Could be worse, I guess. He's absent, but at least he contributes, even if it's just the bare minimum.'

'Do you know why he left?'

'The woman he's married to now? He'd been seeing her for a while, and she had a kid. Mum lost it, got so depressed she ended up psychotic. I mean, she was always pretty fragile. That's when Zoë came back from uni, to look after me. Now she's my legal guardian.'

'Shit.' Matt sat back in his seat and stared straight ahead. 'I'm sorry, mate. Didn't know how bad it was, with your family.'

'We get by, Zoë and me. And now we have Richard, and I'll be eighteen soon. It's not so bad.'

'Still. You've had to go through a lot. I mean, not just that, you've been bullied and . . .' He trailed off, giving Nick a sidelong glance.

Nick shrugged again. 'I'm fine. I mean, I'm not fine, not right now, but I'll be okay. I always snap back. I have to.'

* * *

It was only the same day that Dave made up his mind to go to the Oxymorons gig in Sapswell. He'd been deliberating back and forth, and most of all he would have liked to spend his Friday night with Patrick. But then Patrick caught a violent stomach bug that was going around, and Dave thought he might as well go as not. He and Nick both had to learn to be in the same place at the same time. They just had to.

He travelled to Sapswell with Alan.

'How are things with Patrick?' Alan asked when they were on the bus.

Dave smiled. 'It's good. Really good.' It had been over a month since he had started to think of Patrick as his boyfriend. 'He's just, he's such a genuinely good person, you know? And really, really hot.' He blushed.

'Well, good for you. Seems like you're finally getting over Nick.'

'Yeah. Wouldn't be going tonight if I wasn't.'

They arrived at the venue half an hour before the concert was due to start. Sapswell's only nightclub was a far cry from the gay club Dave and Patrick had gone to in Birmingham, but the fact that they put on live shows there every once in a while spoke in their favour. Alan had only just turned eighteen, so getting in was no problem, though Dave got the feeling they checked IDs mostly for show. When they got there, they went up to the bar and ordered drinks. A fair amount of people were milling about and dancing.