Chapter 39

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A few weeks had passed, and as Hannah became more and more alert, and somewhat real, Ellen was finding it harder to cope. Kian was at home, but not all the time. He had to go to work, and Ellen was left alone with the baby, telling everyone that she was fine. She had just got off the phone with Emma, and she gave her some helpful tips on how to cope with the baby. Ellen understood everything she was told, but when it came down to applying it, she couldn’t do it.

She finally got Hannah to sleep, and sat down, obviously exhausted. She started to drift off when her mobile went off, it was Kian. He phoned everyday at that time to check that everything was okay.

“Hello”

“Wow, you sound knackered”

“I truly am, when are you coming home?”

“Ah, that’s kinda why I’m phoning, you see, I need to stay over in a hotel, we have an early morning tomorrow and I just won’t make it I time”

“Okay, I guess you can’t help it” There was laughter in the background that was more like some sort of bat cry.

“I’m sorry, say hello to Hannah for me”

“What was that noise?”

“oh, um it was um the girls laughing at a joke, oh um I have to um go now”

“Love you”

“Uh huh, talk to you later”

He hung up. Ellen thought that was so rude of Kian, she was at home alone with his baby, looking after it as best as she could. She was tired, she hadn’t slept in weeks, and he was off gallivanting with his young co-workers whose skirts were probably up to their necks. She couldn’t bear the thought of it. She grabbed her keys and Hannah and climbed into her car. She had three or four hours until she had to pick Koa up form school, plenty of time.

She sped down the motorway, trying to blur out the thoughts of Kian with younger women who were better looking than her. She looked at herself in the rear view mirror and sighed. There was no way that Kian would choose her, a fat, tired, neurotic, emotional, deprived woman over a young, free, gorgeous, slim, carefree practically a teenager slut… no one. She felt her heart sink as she had to turn off to fins the hotel Kian was staying in. what would he say if she turned up, she would embarrass him, and herself. There was an even stronger chance that he would leave her for a younger woman, he would feel betrayed that she didn’t trust him, and she wouldn’t blame him. Then for the rest of her life she would be sitting alone in her work whilst he took her children from her, and she wouldn’t be able to do anything whilst a big breasted whore took her place.

It made her realise, that’s almost what she did to Jodi, apart from the fact that they were already pending divorce. It made Ellen loath herself for what she did, and it’s worse that Kian called her his mother, when his mother was a woman who was obsessed with Kian, and would probably do what Ellen was doing right now, and then if came to her, she was turning into her enemy, the one thing she vowed to Kian; on their wedding day, that she would never become. She turned around, which caused a lot of horns to beep, and made her way back home.

She thought and thought about what to do next. She didn’t want to discuss her marriage with Emma, because the tables will turn and she will then complain about her marriage to Olly, or the fact that they have never been better. She decided in the end to phone Nicky, who was rehearsing for the weekend’s performance of Strictly Come Dancing. He took his time picking up, although that may have been because he was practising very hard at the time.

“Hello Ellen, what’s up?”

“Hey, I was wondering if I could get your advice”

“Yeah sure what’s the matter?”

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