Birthday Flowers | The Kissing Booth

55. Twelve Days (2)

(Noah)

FRIDAY

Friday morning Elle decides to go see her mom. I ask her if she wants me to come along or if she'd rather go on her own, and after a pause she asks me to drive up with her but let her have the visit to herself. I find a bench to sit on as I wait for her, and it's impossible not to think about the last time I sat waiting for Elle here. It's not the same bench, and it's not like October was the first time I'd waited here while she visited her mom, but still. I've learned, over the years, what Elle needs from me those times her mom fills her mind even more than usual. She doesn't want to talk, she needs her space, but she also likes to know I'm nearby. To know that I know.

I hesitated before coming here, in October. I booked my flight impulsively after talking to Lee and then I refused to think about exactly what I was doing or why, but the doubts were still there, unacknowledged. The second-guessing hit hardest when I walked into my parents' house after flying in from San Francisco. The house that had been the last place we'd been together and the place we'd somehow fallen apart. The scene of all our breakups, actually. The house where Elle's presence had been a constant longer than I could remember and the house I knew she still visited often, but never when I might be around. I had no idea what to expect, no real plan for the weekend beyond finding Elle. But however Elle might react, it was long past time we talked.

I could have called first, or sent a message. I could probably have gotten Elle's campus address from my mom, or maybe even from Lee, and shown up there instead. But I didn't want anyone else involved, and I couldn't figure out what I'd say if I did send a message. Or maybe I dreaded the possibility of never getting a reply. So, despite all the second-guessing, I decided to just show up in the one place I knew she'd visit at some point that Saturday, the place where the thought of her alone that day had provoked this whole trip.

Elle rejoins me after a while, and when she curls up with her head on my lap I wonder if she's been thinking about October, too. But even if our positions are the same, everything else has changed. This time I don't fight the urge to thread my fingers through Elle's hair, brushing it off her shoulder before letting my hand sweep down to rest over Dinah. This time I have no confusion about how I feel, or how she does. This time we've forgiven each other for all our disasters, not just opted to ignore them. There's a long silent stretch, a quiet moment shared, and when Elle finally says she's ready to go, this time there's no question that we're leaving together. Going home, together.

~~~~

Mom calls with a few wedding updates and questions as we eat lunch. The guest list has grown slightly. Elle's mom's parents are coming, as are Mike's brother and my aunt Jen. Mike's parents don't travel much anymore, nor do my mom's, but we promise to visit with Dinah as soon as possible. My dad's mom does still travel plenty, which is why she can't be here, as she's in the middle of the Pacific on yet another cruise. The friends side of the guest list has stayed limited to Adam and Mickey, though; there are no easy lines to draw after those two, and so that's where we've kept things. On Monday we'll need to go downtown to get our wedding license, but other than that Mom really has kept most of the planning off our shoulders.

"One of Mickey's friends has a play premiering on campus tonight. We could grab dinner at the Thai place by my old dorm before the show," Elle suggests as we finish lunch.

"Nope."

"Oh, come on, the last play wasn't that bad."

"It was, but that's not why."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"It's Friday. I always have plans for us on Fridays." Always, minus those years we spent being idiots. Which means we have a lot of Fridays to make up for.