Knock Me Down - [COMPLETE]

12 - Mateo's Magnet

He comes back and touches my arm with a pile of clothes, "Change"

I look down at what I'm wearing again. Im cold from the wetness of my clothes and they doing much in terms of warmth. I thank him under my breath and go to change. He gave me slippers, sweat pants and a hoodie. His track hoodie.

We eat in silence but not before he quietly thanks me. It makes me feel better about where we stand.

His expression is static. Its bored and empty even when he brings up: "What did you tell the lover boy?"

My face reddens and I shift uncomfortably. He stares at me intently and expectantly.

"I didn't really...think it was me he was talking about when he said he liked someone"

He sighs through his nose.

"But I-I said no! I don't like Holden. He's cool and all but...not for me" I make an effort to change the subject, "Hey. I just realized today's thanksgiving. It's kinda funny. Since...you know...we're eating"

It's awkward. Or I am.

He sits quietly. Doesn't say anything to reply. I almost think he might be angry. I go for another attempt. To change the subject. But he treats me like I'm invisible. He takes my empty plate and washes the dishes.

"Oh–you don't have to" I start but once again he disregards my existence, "I was...Uh, thanks"

He finishes cleaning up the kitchen. He always has that cool, unconcerned face but always did little things like this to recompense. I check the hour on my phone and see how late it is. I should be sleeping. But it's dark and he's starting to walk down the hall. I'm afraid he's going to leave me alone in the living room.

"Ah, Jasper, wait. Can I stay here?"

He pauses his steps like he's thinking but then gives me this look like what I said was obvious.

"Like over? To sleep. If that's cool"

Jasper shakes his head and makes a sign for me to walk behind him. I follow like a scared puppy.

I'm in his room. I haven't been in here in awhile. In a long while. It's simple as always. There's a few tapes, vinyl, and CDs stacked in one corner of the room by his desk. Some probably from his dads. He has a small stack of fliers I can't make out what of. Besides that just lots of bland grey walls.

"Sleep here" The bed's neatly made and he goes to exit but I grab his bicep.

"Uh, wait" He can't just leave me here.

"Toothbrush?"

I shyly shake my head no, "Aren't you... gonna sleep here?"

"Why?"

"Well. It's your room. You should sleep here too. Unless, you're uncomfortable with that, then I get it. But it's not like we haven't shared a bed before"

He stares at me suspiciously. Analyzing my face. It only makes me more anxious about his answer. I bite my bottom lip massaging it between my teeth.

"Okay"

The bed creaks softly when we sit on it, like it's not used to being used by more than one person. Jasper doesn't invite people over, he's the one that gets invited. He strips in front of me and puts the clothes into a basket next to him.

"This 'cause you're afraid of the dark?"

Of course he knows. He knows even when I don't think he knows anything, "I'm not afraid. It's just being in the dark somewhere I'm not used to makes me paranoid"

"You weren't scared when we were in the woods"

"Yeah but that's because" My cheeks warm up under the mix of his semi-naked intensity and embarrassment. I look around the room, getting the words to come out my throat. I feel like I'm six all over again, "...you were there. And stuff"

"Didnt know if you wanted some space. From me" He explains. He's talking about our car incident. It's hard to make out his face in the lack of light in the room but I know he's thinking again. Him thinking was dangerous. For me. The man was diabolical in his own way. He gets on his feet and ruffles my hair. Like he used to. He chuckles, "You're a cute kid. Guess your brother wasn't wrong about the cuddling"

"I'm not gonna cuddle you! And you invited me on your bed"

"I took pity on a toddler" I roll my eyes at him because it reminds me of our argument and he says, "This is the equivalent of letting your dog sleep on the bed"

"I'm not a toddler. Or a dog"

I try sleeping. I do. I turn left and right. I try switching directions, flipping the pillow, without the pillow and nothing. I curl up, lay on my stomach, on my side, with the covers and try without. Wide awake I lean my forehead experimentally on Jasper's back.

"Move around again and I'll tie you to the bed frame" He mumbles coldly taking more of the blanket in his direction. I flinch pulling my head away and apologize.

I exaggeratedly take back some of the blanket and rest on my backside again, "You wouldn't"

He makes no hesitation to sit up, reach under his bed and pull out rope. The kind of rope to tie things in the back of trucks to keep them from moving. He hovers above me holding the it up. I cower under the blankets. Jasper once taped Benicio's legs to a chair at a team sleep over when he was stuck in a sleeping bag in front of a recliner my brother was knocked out on. He kicks in his sleep like a pissy horse and Jasper was right in the hit zone. Jasper would tape me to the ceiling if he wanted to.

He tosses the rope on top of the drawer and stands up, "Come on"

Jasper puts a movie on in the living room.

"Is Bene rubbing off on you?" I ask when I see him play 'Next' starring Nic Cage. It's about a magician who can see into the future.

"Thought you'd want something to comfort you. Even if it's by reminding you of your brother's questionable attraction to Nicholas Cage" He lays long ways on the couch.

I laugh but I appreciate the sentiment nevertheless. I pat his shoulder to get him to move so I can sit too. He sits up and when I take his spot he lays his head in my lap. He doesn't even look at me for consideration. He stares at the tv. Obviously sleepy. Unlike me. I feel bad again. There he goes: helping me. Me who's wide awake and hyper aware of him. My eyes zone in on Cage's continent sized hairline while I casually rest my arm over his chest.

I swallow some of my spit and casually put my left hand by his hair. I wanted to comb my hand through it. I really want to. By the time we're at the part where Nic saves some FBI agent chasing him from dying, Jasper's sound asleep with my fingers raked in his locks.

And that manages to be enough comfort for me to sleep to.