Since I've Been Loving You

Chapter 7

He returned a few minutes later. He went over to his bag and began rummaging through it before pulling something out and making his way over to the couch.

"What do you have there?" You tried to lean over and see what he was holding.

"This is a final copy of the album. It's officially done." He smiled, handing it over for you to look at.

You inspected the case, admiring the album art before flipping it over to look at the tracklist. A smile broke out on your face when you saw the song Danny had mentioned as your surprise.

"Is track seven the one you were talking about?" You looked over at him to see if you were right.

"Yes. Why don't you start with that one, and then you can listen to the rest of the album?"

Before Danny could even say anything else, you raced over to the stereo and put the cd in. You hit play, skipping ahead to track seven. Once you heard the guitars start-up, you bolted back to the couch and next to Danny. You were in awe of the song, and small tears escape your eyes. They turned into full-on cries once you got to the post-chorus verse. Most of it was words that Danny had spoken to you before he left in March.

Pain isn't vain if it means your heart's been broken

Pain is the same as a means to heal

You thought back to the night before Danny left for tour. He was in Y/D/N's room, putting her to bed for the night. Meanwhile, you were sitting on your bed, trying to hold yourself together. Everything was catching up with you and Danny leaving for three months was enough to push you over the edge. You didn't even realize you were crying until Danny walked back into the room.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" Danny asked as he jogged over to the bed and climbed up next to you.

"I can't do this. I'm a terrible mother." You cried, trying to hide your face from the drummer.

"And why do you say that?" Danny grabbed your hand and began rubbing circles on it.

"I work at a record store where I make next to nothing. I can barely afford the rent for this place, let alone gas in my car or anything else." You picked up one of the many bills that were littering the bed. "I'm late on most of my bills."

You hiccupped, trying to catch your breath. "Maybe if I hadn't had been so stupid, I wouldn't be in this position. I Love Y/D/N so much, but she deserves someone who can provide for her without any worry. Why did I have to be so naïve? All I wanted was someone to love me, and it backfired." You buried your face in your hands as you cried.

It was quiet for a moment. Danny just sat there, still rubbing circles on your hand.

You lifted your head and looked at him, not caring how you looked in the moment. "I'm sorry. This probably sounds so stupid."

"It's not stupid, Y/N. Love isn't greed; it's a need that goes unspoken. Everyone wants someone to love them, and Liam wasn't meant to love you or Y/D/N. But that's okay because now you have someone that loves you more than anything else." Danny let go of your hand and began gently rubbing your back.

"Okay, but you're leaving for three months tomorrow, and you'll probably find someone better while you're gone. Someone without a child." You mumbled the last part, hoping he didn't hear it.

"Love doesn't leave when you fade away Y/N. Just because I won't be home doesn't mean I won't still love you. Besides, I'll be stuck in a cabin with the Kiszka brothers for most of the time I'm gone. Once we get to California, we'll be so busy with the music video. I wouldn't have time to find someone else even if I wanted to. And you having a child doesn't change how I feel about you at all. I've known you for years. I loved you then, and I still love you now."

You wiped your eyes with the sleeve of your shirt. "I feel so stupid. I'm sorry you had to see my breakdown." You sniffled.

"You don't need to feel that way. You've been through a lot these last two years, and you went through most of it alone. Pain isn't vain if it means your hearts been broken. And yours was. But all this crying is good. It means you're dealing with how you feel. Pain is the same as a means to heal. Tomorrow's a new day with new adventures. You're a great mother, and just because you have a child doesn't mean your dreams are forgotten. You can still go to med school and become a doctor."

You couldn't find the words to respond. All you could do was stare at Danny in awe. You truly didn't deserve him.

"So, what did you think Y/N," Danny asked, drawing you from your thoughts.

"I can't believe you remember that night I cried to you in my bed and put the words into a song." You wiped your eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"I wanted a way for you to always be able to hear those words again whenever you needed them. Even if it's not me singing them." Danny wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him.

"What did Josh say when you proposed the song?" You knew Josh well enough to know he probably had an opinion on it. 

"He loved the song itself. He was just mad about the last-minute addition because we were almost done with the album." Danny explained.

"Typical Josh." You laughed.

"I'd say so. Why don't I restart the album and you can listen to the whole thing?" Danny suggested.

"I'd love that. I've been waiting for months to hear it." You watched as Danny got up and made his way over to the stereo across from the couch. He restarted the cd and made his way back to you, wrapping his arm around you again as you leaned your head on his chest. At this moment, you never wanted Danny to leave again.