"Last drops of winter ice melting
As i look out for sun aching for light
The stairs held my hands till last
Fighting through the valley of love."
The rain is now in its full thrust. I'm the only one left in the entire floor. Looking out through the window, legs fold comfortably. My hands leaning on the bench scratching my wish list.
"Shall i die today"
"You still got 3 things to do"
I looked at the remaining points on the paper. Met parents, a trip with friends, waterfall shower, wealthy dinner.
What else is remaining
A game with friends, a poem.
I should start writing a poem and release it online. I got only 24 hours left. I'll be done by tomorrow this time.
I looked at the watch,
5:16
"Shouting out at the maple leaves
Where did the vanished soul goes.
Don't worry my little boy
No matter where other souls go.
I'll save you within me
Cause you're my lovely son i got"
The aroma of midnight Jasmine pulled me towards it. I stoped a second to look at the tree.
My eyes got wet as i saw the tiny flowers falling down from its mother for just a tiny fickle.
I took out a paper from my bag and went near the tree. The smell is really magical.
I gently picked the flowers that fell on the ground and carefully placed on the paper.
By the time i was done, the clouds went away giving a cool sunset. The evening sunlight falling on the white flowers shimmering orange shade all around.
I looked around.
People running, tensed, stressed.
Fearing how next day would go.
What to answer, what to question. Taking coaching to learn how to behave.
In all this life, we're taught to celebrate happiness. And taught happiness comes only from winning.
Well, who cares for what makes us happy. People just forgot freedom.
And again, who am i to judge them.
"Wind is my savior,
I shall fly forever.
Don't know where I'll stop
Let me open my wings and flap.
To where the abyss is,
Will be my final destination.
Thy shall think i failed
I say truth died.
For shall i took a new path
Hurdles through the win and lost."
The mud was damp in the playground
I walked towards the badminton court holding my bat.
3 players playing smoothly.
"Looks like you got a place for extra player" i smiled.
"Sure dude, hop on, lets play a match" one of them said.
"Awwww, i love doubles. I don't hit hard, deal the racket smoothly with me".
The opposite team served and i slammed the racket hard to the floor.
After 2 hours of playing, i took a shower. I don't know what happened, I started tearing while showering. The tears mingled with water flowing on me. I scrubbed the soap tightly on my body. It will be the last time for me.
Everything i do now will be last time.
Sometimes its better not to explain.
So, I'm not explaining why I'm going to end myself.
I wore a dark blue short and a Hawaii shirt. I walked fast on the stairs. Its dark now.
I went on to the terrace. People forgot how its like to live alone looking at the lonely sky. Now i see no one on the terrace anymore.
When there is a power cut, no one comes out anymore. We're just using invertor or a battery back up.
We're literally avoiding ourselves to divide and destroy unity.
I smiled looking at the clouds.
The cold breeze hitting my back, i closed my eyes as past memories flow through me.
I'm not sleeping on my last day. I want to experience every slow second doing nothing.
I went to the ground again at 2am.
It was very dark. I started jogging. My legs slowly jogging fast, as i smell the fresh air. I threw my slippers as i was jogging. My feet feeling the wet and cold grass. I spread my hands in the air running now.
Me, just me, laughing, running, jumped suddenly on the grass. My body skid hard on the land.
I shouted in pain.
Then i realized, it doesn't matter anyway. I smiled as i was trying to catch my breath.
"Oh, the rising sun,
Give me direction.
I slowly walked through the trees, its 5 in the evening.
I wore my favorite dress. The maroon shirt with white lines and sky blue jeans.
I wasn't wearing any shoes. Barefoot feeling every inch of the land. By now i could hear the train sound.
I checked the timings. Next train will be exact 5:16.
An express going hard north.
I saw a small tunnel.
"Damn" I thought.
Never seen this here.
I climbed the stairs next to the tunnel leading to the tracks.
I stood up straight as i see a full view of tracks.
"For the sun replied,
Its time for the son to come home
So the world would celebrate a poem."
I stood right on the middle of the tracks facing my body adjacent to the train coming, so it would come in contact with the left hand and heart first.
I hear the sound of train coming. The loud siren wailing into my left ear.
"Please god father take me away,
So the highness looked away.
Its no time for a prayer my son,
Thy shall reach me when the year ends.
Do you not worth the new year,
Thy shall end the cycle when the December flower rolls."
I smiled.
I'm confident. The train siren sound increased.
The tracks are shaking under pressure
"Roll down little Jasmine, cries a boy
Not now my love, come hide with me till the snow flows.
Let the breeze let you roll with me on the ground.
Thy you shall be watching freedom floating you to the ground.
Cause the ground is king.
The ground is king.
And December leaves, time forgets.
