He rubbed his hand over his chin, the rough skin catching on the stubble that was present there. "I mean, I loved your sister more than anything, and I pushed her away for something that is never going to happen. All becuase you think that you've found your dream date in Josh. Well trust me, you're going to get hurt and I'm going to be the one left to pick up the pieces. I had to do that for Cody, pick up the piecies and try and get her back together, but I was so captivated by you that I couldn't do it properly and she just fell apart once again. Except that time she fell apart she shattered and couldn't get better." He took a deep shaky breath "I don't want to be the one to have to put you back together, all for it to be wasted"
I stared at him, trying to stop my jaw dropping open as he described what he and Cody went through. He pushed the palm of his hands in his eyes and sniffed, I knew he was trying to stop himself from crying but I knew it was inevitable. I was silent the whole time, I just watched him as he composed himself.
When he finally looked at me his eyes looked worse than they did before, the white in hios eyes were red and the red around his eyes was more noticable. He looked at the cigarette in his hands and pointed to it "Are you going to finish that?"
I looked down and flicked that long line of ash from it before handing it to Nathan. He look a long drag and closed his eyes as he exhaled "I'm so confused, Dylan"
"What about?" I finally managed to find my voice
He looked at me and sighed "You, I'm so confused about you"
I felt my brow furrow again, he just took another long drag from the cigarrete finishing it in that drag. he exhaled as he crushed it under his shoe. He looked at me again and shook his head "You have no idea do you?"
"About what?"
"All of this, this whole thing!" He threw his arms up "How I feel about you, how I feel about your sister, how I miss her yet crave you. You have no idea what I feel all the time and the battles I have with myself each and everyday"
I stared at him as he poured all this out, he carried on and I saw the tears running down his cheeks as he did "You don't understand how hard I have to fight to stay here, yet everytime I think of giving into what I want to do, I can't bring myself to actually leave this house. The image of you coming home and being alone is enough to break me. I can't stand the thought of you falling like your sister did, I don't want to loose you as well"
"Then tell me" I whispered
"What?" He sniffed and looked at me
I swallowed hard and grabbed his hand, i held it tight and brought it to my lips. Kissing it softly before I spoke to him "Tell me, tell me how it feels, tell me what you feel. Just tell me, don't keep it in okay?"
"Okay"
Both of us chuckled and Nathan reached out, his thumb running over my cheeks where I suddenly felt them become wet. I had been crying and I didn't even know. He smiled "Don't let yourself get hurt, Dylan"
"Don't keep yourself alone when you desperatly need to talk to some about what you're feeling" I let go of his hand
"Don't leave me, please promise me you wont let yourself fall so far that there is no way back up" He looked out over the front yard, the sun just setting behind the row of housees on the other side of the road. The sky ablaze with oranges and reds and yellows.
"I promise you Nathan, I won't let myself get like that" I nodded and looked at the sunset once again.
We sat in silence and watched as the last of the sun's rays left the sky and replaced it with a deep shade or purple as the night rolled in. I stood up, Nathan watched as I brushed myself down and held my hand out for him to take.
He took it and stood up, I couldn't help but look at the tattoos that covered his arms and chest. He noticed this and chuckled "I'm thinking of getting another one"
"Really?" I asked "Where? I think the majority of your body is covered"
He laughed and ran his hand down the right side of his body "Along the side"
"Ouch" I commented, wincing as he said this "That's going to be painful"
He stared at me and gestured to the tattoo over his chest, spreading over his collar bones "Dylan, I can withstand it over my collar bones, I can withstand it over my ribs"
I nodded "I've always wanted a tattoo"
"Why haven't you got one then?" He questioned as we walked into the house
I shrugged "Too scared I guess"
He chuckled "What do you want?"
"Something to represent my family I guess. I thought about getting three black shaded orchids going down the back of my neck" I ran my finger down the spot where I wanted the tattoo
Nathan tipped his head slightl to one side "Why orchids?"
"It's the flower that all four of us like, Dad used to buy them for mum every week when he came home from work and Cody and I would take them off him and run into mum to give them to her. So it's just a little symbol of my family honestly" I shrugged
He nodded and smiked at me "I'm going to make you do it, you'll look good with a bit of ink on your body"
I shook my head "I can't, I'm underage and you're not my parent or carer so you can't give permission...Plus I'm too scared"
"I might as well be your carer" He chuckled "Look, the dude who does mine will do yours if I ask him"
I rubbed my arms and thought about it "But I can't afford it"
"My treat" He smirked
I shook my head "I can't let you pay for that"
He rolled his eyes "C'mon he's still open"
"Now?!" I panicked
He nodded and took my hand, dragging me to my car. I stared at it and watched as he ran back in, he came out and locked the door before chucking me my keys. I glared at him as I opened the car and sat in the seat.
Nathan directed me to the place, I was a little nervous as we walked through the door as I didn't know what to expect. Nathan walked up to the desk and greeted the man, laughing and slapping eachother on the back.
Nathan looked back at me "She want's a tattoo done, my treat"
The man looked at me, he was bald and had tattoos over his head and intricate sleves up his arms, just visable under his turned up sleeves. He smiled at me and then his smile dropped, he looked at Nathan "Her sister?"
Nathan nodded, i felt uncomfortable. This man knew Cody and knew about me, I watched as he came round and smiled at me "My name is Ed, I'm going to do your tattoo, now come and tell me what you want"
I nodded and followed him into a room, I looked at Nathan who was waiting for me to go past
"You're a bad influence on me"
He leant in and whispered in my ear "I'll show you a bad influence if you want"
-
You're all welcome to come and shoot me for not updating in weeks!!!!
This is a bit of a filler really, I just really needed to get something out for you guys!!!
Anyway, the picture on the side is Dylan's tattoo
Also, I made a trailer for this book so you can check that out if you like, it's also on the side.
Until next time my loves!!!!
Seven
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