Sick of Love Songs (Sean&Kaycee) FINISHED

The one with the answer

I wished I'd gotten in the car with Sean. I wished I'd never gone to that class and I wished I'd never walked home. I wished I'd paid more attention and mostly, I just wished I hadn't put my extended family through all of this. All of the devastation in that stuffy hospital room, all these tears and worry I'd caused was ripping at my throat, making it excruciating to breathe and I could feel all of them staring, pitying me.

"It's okay, princess, we've got you," my dad whispered, holding me as best as he could without causing any more damage. Over his head, I saw Serris and Sarah joining their parents, all of them side-hugging each other as they watched us with tears on their own faces. Nearly all of my family was there, something so rare these days. The only thing missing was my best friend and as soon as I realized that, I remembered the conversation with Sean's sisters from earlier. I still didn't know why they'd acted so strange. I mean yeah, sure, usually Sean would've stayed by my side, but he'd gone to do his job and it was for such a short time. I was sure they all knew I didn't mind, even though I missed him so much.

After a few minutes, we all managed to gather ourselves and my family peeled themselves off the hospital bed, leaving me with space to breathe and think.

"These are beautiful," my mom said with a sad smile, running her fingers over the arrangement of flowers and probably trying to distract all of us from talking about the situation at hand. I was fine with the change of subject, as it meant I could finally get my answer.

"Yeah," I agreed. They always are. "Do you know when he'll be back?"

And there it was. The silence so intense I could've heard a feather drop onto the ground. Everyone kept looking at each other, none of them even breathing. What is this, I thought, feeling like I'd brought up something forbidden.

Finally, Serris spoke up, avoiding my eyes by looking at the flowers. "Maybe you should just read the card," she suggested, directing her gaze to the ceiling, the way people did when trying to stop their tears from falling. I was so puzzled and helpless at the same time, wondering when one of them would catch up and hold the card out for me to read. After I pointedly looked at it, my mom caught on and picked it out from it's place between the roses. She held it in front of my face, her hand shaking so hard I could barely read it.

"I told you, I'd never forget.

No matter what, just remember I kept this promise.

Happy birthday, Angel"

If possible, I was even more confused. The note was beautiful, it always was, but what was the middle part about, I couldn't figure out. The confusion must've showed on my face, because Sarah cleared her throat, her face determined, but twisted in regret.

"He's not coming back, little one. Not for a while."

What? But it's only three weeks, he said so himself.

"What am I missing here? He was supposed to be gone for three weeks, no? Did they offer him more workshops?" I asked, confused because I knew he didn't like being away from home for extended periods of time. He got homesick so fast and he missed cuddling Oreo on the second day after leaving.

Sarah looked around for anyone else to reply, obviously uncomfortable with my question.

"Well, we...we don't know, exactly. He just said he had to leave, because it's what you wanted?" Kylie said, her voice raising in the end as if she was asking me or anyone else for reassurance.

"What?" I choked, the heart monitor starting to beep faster and faster. It caught everyone's attention, but I couldn't care less. "What do you mean?"

"That's what he said. That you needed him to leave, so he left and he said he doesn't know when he'll be back," Kylie answered my question, tilting her head, something she always did to grasp my reaction to things she thought would trigger me.

"He left, Kaycee," Miya confirmed, looking at the ground.

I never wanted him to leave. I definitely never told him that. Sure, I wanted some space to clear my head, but...He left the country? He wanted to leave that much?

"No," I whispered, closing my eyes as the realization of Sean actually leaving me behind caught up with me. He really had said goodbye without giving me a chance to tell him I loved him. To tell him to stay.

Soooo.... I'm sorry. I know this story is depressing more than anything, but honestly, that's just real life. The chances of finding your soulmate, your one true love are slim and even when you do, it might not work out. So while reading the rest of this story, just keep that in mind. 

I love you guys so much! 

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