hope for us.

chapter one, Nick Maxton

By Rose Gorman and somewhat Brooke(if you read this Brooke, I still love your gay shoes)

Here we go again. Another day in high school, I can do this. I'm walking to the door, this is okay. this will be better. today will be the day where everything turns out okay. Just a little closer to the door - " hey freak face!" oh no. I walk faster towards the door that's almost in arms reach. Then I'm on the floor, then up again hanging by the hood of my hoodie. " thought you could get away huh?! That's gonna cost you extra". Liam Willams and his crew, right on time like I feared. " I-I left m-my wallet a-at h-h-home," I said, stuttering like an idiot. One of Liam's buddies goes through my pockets, and I knew I was going to get pounded for what he found. " Got it!" the guy says, holding my lunch money in his hand. " so what was that about leaving your money at 'h-h-home'?" Liam says, taunting my scared stutter. " I-I-I, u-um" he dropped me on the floor. " Let's make sure that this emo nightmare thinks twice before lying to us," Liam says, chuckling darkly. After about ten minutes of torment, they get bored and leave. I pick up my now dirty backpack and slightly limp into school. I try my best not to make eye contact with anyone as I navigate through the halls, instead I focus on the inspirational and informational posters on the wall. " reading is cool" and "math will take you far". It's all just a bunch of stupid slogans that the teachers put up to make them feel better about not paying attention to anything the teens on campus do. I go into homeroom as quietly as I can, my teacher Mrs.Right greets me as I walk in. "hello Nickolis, first one here as usual" I greet her back with a nod and head to the back corner of the room

After my fourth period, I start heading to the lunchroom. I can't wait to get some food, I had to skip breakfast and- then I remember this morning, so instead of going to the cafeteria, I make my way outside to the courtyard. I don't need the food, it'll just make me fatter than I already am. anyway, While I'm sitting on my phone I notice someone walking up to me. My brain starts filling up with thoughts, 'what if he want money?' 'I knew this was a bad idea' ' maybe I can offer to do their homework and get off easy' 'what if that's not enough?' ' then what if-'. "Hey," the guy says. I look up and notice that I don't recognize him. " I'm new here and I was wondering if you could help me find the office?". I overthink this intently before deciding that he probably would do anything drastic to me, he doesn't even know who I am. he wouldn't be talking to me if he did.  "S-sure, what's your name?" I ask in a shaky voice. "Joan, Joan Peterson," he says in a cheery tone "and you are?". "Nick M-maxwell, but everyone calls me freak face" he looks at my piercings briefly then says, "I think they look cool". I stare at him confused. Cool? No one has ever called anything about me cool. " earth to Nick" he waves his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my trance. I flinch and put my hands out to block him. The fault of habit. " oh, uh, sorry" he says. I move my hands quickly into my pockets, my usually pale face turning red with embarrassment " u-uh yeah no that's m-my bad. Let's go to the office" I start walking into the school while he follows me.

While we are walking, Joan tries to make conversation "so what electives are you taking?" he asks hesitantly. " painting 1st period, biology 2nd, ceramics 7th, and extra math 3rd", his face lights up with excitement " me too! Well, all of those except extra math. I took creative writing instead.". Huh, having classes with someone that doesn't hate me might be a good change. " cool, I guess I'll be seeing you more often" I answer him. " yeah! Since you're my only friend at this school, I'm glad I have almost all my electives with you". I stop dead in my tracks "f-friend?" I say out loud without meaning to. "Yeah! Friends" he says in response " y-you don't want to be f-friends with me, I mean, just look at me" we both stop and look at each other. This is the first time I take a good look at what he's wearing, a dark blue hoodie with patches on it, he has a lot of different patches. I recognize a few of them like one says My Chemical Romance on it, another says twenty-one pilots, even a Pac Man one, but the one that catches my eye is a pride flag. This makes me worried, this school isn't really that accepting with that kind of stuff. Well, the teachers are. It's the students that will beat you up and steal your lunch money for being who you are. " all things aside for right now, you need to take off that hoodie" I say to him, sounding a bit urgent. " what? Why?" he says confused. " just do it, please" lunch is almost over, the halls will be filled soon. " okay," he said hesitantly, he takes off his hoodie. He's wearing a Cave Town shirt, "mind telling me why I needed to-" the bell rings. I grab his hand and lead him quickly to the office, which is thankfully just up ahead. I pull him in and shut the door, hopefully, no one saw us. "Hello, Nick and.... who is this?" Katie, the secretary says. "This is Joan, the new student?" I tell her "ah yes! The new transfer, mr.blaine gave me your schedule" she ruffles through some papers, then holds one up triumphantly " here you are, Nick could you please show Joan around the school? Both of our ambassadors are out today, I'll give you a pass". Truth be told, I don't think that the ambassadors are really out, but I go to the office a lot for the "incidents" that happen to me. For example, I came into homeroom with a black eye, I told Mrs.right I fell but she told me to go to the health office anyway. Katie has tried to get me to talk to the principal before, but I know it would only cause more problems for me later. " okay, thanks Kaitie. Follow me, Joan." I head over to the door with Joan trailing me " It was nice meeting you Kaitie!" Joan says in his cheerful voice as We walk out.

The bell has already rung so the halls are empty. Joan turns to me "okay, spill. Why did I need to take off my sweatshirt, and why wouldn't I want to be your friend?." He asked. I'm contemplating what to say, I mean if I tell him too much he'll start asking more questions and he might even tell the principal. I decided to only tell him just enough to answer his questions, and hope he doesn't ask anymore. " first off, people here aren't too accepting of that kind of love. Second, no one really likes being friends with me." I tell him. "Well I would like to be friends with you, you're taking time away from you're classes just to show me around the school. I'd like to be friends with a person who would do that for someone he just met," he sounds determined. "Look, being friends with me would just make trouble for yourself.", " and why would it do that?". " because being friends with the emo-gay-freak reject isn't good for your social status," I say to him, my voice having a tone that I don't quite recognize. Some kind of a mix between my normal anxious tone and something more difficult to identify. We silently stare at each other for a while, before he speaks. " let's both be freak rejects together then" he says. " but if you do that you'll-" I start but he cuts me off "Nick. let me be your friend." he says in a stern voice that startles me, it was so different from his normal tone. I sigh heavily " .......Fine. but you'll need to stay distant during the school day if you want we can hang out at lunch, but no communicating during school periods or passing time." I tell him. He nods his head excitedly " Yay! New friend!"

After that, I show him around the school and we talk about music, art and he starts talking about his family near the end of the tour. "...so then, Mikey shoves three cupcakes in his mouth because Jenny ate the last of his favorite cookies!", I laugh at his funny family stories, something I don't do around most people, he has two younger siblings, Their names are Mikey and Jenny. "So do you have any siblings?" Joan asks. "y-yeah, 3 younger brothers and a little sister." I'm not used to talking about my family, no one cares about my home life. Except for Joan. Before he could comment the bell rings I give him a quick goodbye and then rush off-campus. Thankfully I beat the bullies and get home first. "Zach, Tyler, Frank, Natti, I'm home!" I call out as I take off my shoes. They all come running from different directions, Tyler and Nattile, the two youngest, jump on and hug me tightly. "How was school big bro?" Tyler asks, I silently wince because of the bruises on my abdomen that the kids are pressing on. "Awesome as always rascals, do you guys have homework?" Their faces droop as they nod. "Well get to it, I'll be starting dinner if you guys need help, Zach before you start homework, can you please let Deogie out of the kennel?," I tell them, Zach nods. " What's for dinner?" Fank, the second oldest asked " spaghetti and maybe meatballs" I answer him, Nattile's face lights up, " yay! Thank you big brother" she says, spaghetti is her favorite. " your very welcome Natti, now go get to work on your homework" I set both Ty and Natti down and head to the kitchen.

After dinner is over and it's time for bed, I tuck the kids in and head up to my room in the attic. Our house isn't much, just a one-story house with two bedrooms, a bathroom, a kitchen, barely enough space to call a living room, the basement, and the attic. That's where my room is, the attic. It's not as bad as people set it to be, it's not too small and the kids don't like coming up here. I plop onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. I start thinking about Joan, it's been years since anyone's been that nice to me. As I start to drift into sleep one question pops into my brain,  " does he actually like me? Or is this all just an act?".