October || Narry au

𝑜𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑟 24𝑡ℎ

**trigger warning**

niall.

I let out a breath so deep that I could feel it in every corner of my lungs. Today had been tough. So much so, that even just being alone in the interior of the car was enough to make me want to burst into the uncontrollable tears I currently had pent up. I'd been saving those bad boys all damn day, but now was really not the time. The traffic was already starting to pick up, and I was just glad that Izzy finished early on Wednesdays, so I could avoid all the angry parent drivers. Even once I was parked up, I had to inhale so deeply I almost went lightheaded, just staring to the heavens and hoping desperately that someone up there was going to give me some strength for tonight. From how Harry had been today – upset, unresponsive, aggressive – I knew dinner was going to be a chore. He'd been alright for merely a few days, pretty much just the weekend in fact, before snapping back into his bad habits again. I wasn't angry, far from it. If anything, I was just hurting for him. All I wanted was to gather him in my arms, hold him and kiss him until everything was alright again. But he'd barely even let me touch him today. Saying that didn't fucking hurt would probably be the biggest lie I'd ever told. A couple of parents greeted me half-heartedly as I walked through the playground towards Izzy's classroom door, just getting out my phone and pretending to be occupied so no one would try and hold a conversation with me. In all honesty, I'd expected at least a text from Harry since I'd left, but, nothing. I shouldn't have been surprised, but in truth, I think I just missed the way he'd text me so regularly, asking how I was, if I'd eaten lunch, if I was drinking enough, comments on traffic or making stupid jokes about the weird mums at school. I was really fucking missing him today. Well, you know what I mean.

"Hi papa!" Izzy beamed, suddenly in front of me. I honestly hadn't noticed, after getting so drawn in by the pictures of my husband that I'd been looking at whilst waiting for her. I forced myself to smile.

"Hey sweetheart. You ready to go?" I asked, offering her my hand as she nodded. She babbled away as we headed to the car, telling me about how she got chosen for the solo in the choir that she'd been desperate for, and that she was going to audition for the school play too.

"I'm so proud of you, pet. I knew you could do it." I grinned down at her as we waited to cross the road together. She giggled, leaning her head on my arm for a moment.

"Thank you, I was so scared about it. But everything was good and I'm so happy." She rambled away, hopping around beside me as the crossing beeped and we made our way onto the other side of the street. We got into the car, and she instantly started messing about with the CD collection in the glove box. Almost of all them were Harry's, but she loved the music he listened to, so I really should not have been shocked when she chose Rumours, putting it into the player herself and singing along, perfectly in tune and at the top of her lungs. Vocal chords of an angel, just like her daddy. I felt a pinch in my heart at that thought. Her beautiful singing had somehow made me so much calmer by the time I pulled into the driveway, making it that much easier to smile for real as she climbed out and started chattering away about how desperate she was to be just like Stevie Nicks. I unlocked the front door, kicking off my shoes and locking it behind us, still watching her as she giggled and demonstrated a small segment of the vocals from Landslide for me. I opened my mouth to praise her, when I suddenly became aware of the fact that it was abnormally bright in the house. My head snapped up sharply as I realised all the blinds were open. Not only was that strange, it was out of the fucking question. Harry didn't like natural light one bit, especially when he was particularly unstable like he had been today, and the blinds had definitely been closed when I'd left. Something was wrong, so very, very wrong.

"Harry?!" I shouted, feeling the panic shooting through my body like an electric shock as I darted into the closest doorway, which happened to be the living room.