Yeshie won't accept my friend request and I'll never know why.
Maybe it's because I'm annoying?
A piece of shit?
A drag?
Just something he has to tolerate everyday?
Or maybe for this exact reason.
I keep over thinking everything
I'm so fucking desperate for him to like me
For him to consider me his best friend-
I-
I genuinely get jealous of others
Why is this making me sad?
Why am I crying about this?
He probably has his own reason.
A good one.
He just..
Doesn't want to tell me.
God.
I'm making a vent about something a stupid as this-
The first time I've ever got a response from him when talking about this stuff
It's just
"No."
Why-
He has Princess on his friend list-
He talked to her..
I'm the reason they're even friends!
He said a while ago before he revealed his voice that he'd feel most comfortable showing it to Alice..
Am I..
Am I just not special..?
Am I nothing to him..?
Do I mean nothing..?
I label myself as his best friend but what am I reaĺly..?
I'm probably the least close to him out of everyone..
He's even got Ethan on his friends list..
Why..
Why not me..?
Why do I get so fucking jealous of others? It's all about Yeshie..
I just want his approval, that's all I want, More than anything.
But I'll never get it.
Because he values everyone else so much more than me-
I'm so pathetic
Why can't I just let him have other friends? The whole DSW thing- I've actually started to hate them! They're not even a bad person.. I'm just jealous.. I don't want to be his only friend, of course.. that's not what I want. But I just want him to think of me as his best friend.. but I don't feel like he even thinks of me as a close friend, he definitely doesn't like me as much as I like him, as much as I value him.. haha.. that's just depressing..
I-
I think I might have a crush on her- oh no- hahaha
I don't
I know I can't
I'm bad at reading my own emotions- we're not even that close haha, and I'm pretty sure she's straight- even though I like to be called a guy.. maybe I'm not actually trans.. and even though most call me he or they, I'm pretty sure they all think of me as a girl, especially if they've seen pictures of me- hhhhh- why am I like this- I- I fucking hate myself ktfdh she definitely doesn't like me back, she has a crush anyways- rip my chances with Yeshie.
