Remembering Her. #daygoesby

Remembering her

Her eyes were sharp
Just as the knife in her handbag
Which she left yesterday
Leaving me alone and sad
Longing for her return
So that we will no longer be alone
Even if we are away for a short time

Lights shining on her leather bag
Makes me remember her and thus sad
Because i can't feel her now,
I can't be with her now,
And she can't touch me now,
When I want her lips
To zip together with mine
Everyday and everytime.

And now my eyes starts to close
...Do I want to be with her?
Yes, yeah, of course!
Or no sir?
.
.
.
What just happened now?
Why would I say no to her?
Why would I think not to be with her?
Am I out of my mind?
Do I deserve love and those who are kind?
Can't I see her, Am I blind?
Why would I say no to her?
Even when I am not worthy for her,
Even when she deserves someone better than me,
Even when I am no one in reality.

My eyes open and I saw a bracelet
And peeking through it is a white thread,
Which is soft and better than a sharp knife
Reassembling some old and left-out charming eyes
.
.
.
And I start to curse my wife
Remembering my imaginary ideal and I begin my cries
I don't hate my wife because she isn't here
I hate her because I am not with my true lover.

These clinking sounds of colorful beads
Has cleared mist in my mind showing my true needs
I have never longed for my wife
Even if we liked each other and never indulged in a strife

But I can't be with her
Because I don't love her
She doesn't exist
But I will still resist
Because my loneliness will suffocate me
My will never be able to see
My time will not move how much I try

I'll love my wife no matter how many days go by
I'll be stuck with my wife no matter how many days go by
I'll dream of my ideal no matter how many days go by
I'll desperately thirst for my ideal no matter how many days go