My Diary as a Sixteen Year Old

Nov 10, 19

Well this is the first time I'm writing in this "book" I wouldn't really call it that because it's not okay so let's get into my life because like I said. You don't know who I am and I definitely don't know who you are. Last Friday I hung out with this guy I have had the biggest crush on for the past three year. I know it's dumb because I probably wont get him. I should tell you guys a little bit about him. He i definitely a player, like I know i'm getting played it's just the way this kid makes me feel I just can't seem to let go. On Thursday he was talking to me and he was like " this is hard for me to admit but every time I like a girl she doesn't make me feel the way you make me feel" and boy did my heart melt. I didn't know what to say or do so I put my hand up for a high five and I said ' because i'm great' and I regretted it so much. Okay so moving on to what happened Friday. We hung out after school and he was really sweet and i don't know. We kissed and I regret that because I'M AN IDIOT TO THINK THAT IT IS ACTUALLY GOING TO WORK BETWEEN HIM AND I HE LEGIT SAID IT PROBABLY WOULDN'T WHY AM I LIKE THIS HOLY FUCK.

Okay well so then over the weekend I started talking to this other guy and he said he has no feelings or anything because the last girl played him which is understandable but I think he's really cute and I really need to stop falling for these fuck boys because It always leaves me hurt in the end but I guess that's just a dumb bitch moment, Oh and if you haven't already guessed I am a female. 

AND ANOTHER THING. I have been watching tiktoks and those boys really have my freaking heart there was this one user and he is just so ugh, like he did this one sound and my heart melted with pain because I know I will never have them but that's cool I guess I mean Whatever I don't care :( 

More about me, I do a lot of sports but I have sorta bad grades, well I have normal grades some A's some B's some C's and maybe a D or an F but we don't talk about that. Right now I am sitting in my bed typing this on my laptop and listening to some music. I was working on another book thing but I had no Ideas and I got annoyed with me having all these thoughts and nobody to really tell them to. Don't get me wrong I'm not like a loner in high school. I have two really cool friends so that sorta makes me a pop star ( note the sarcasm) But I guess whoever is reading this is gonna know all my business, with home, school, boys and all of that you can leave a comment if you wanna talk to me or something because I might need advice a lot even though nobody really uses this anymore but yeah leave a comment or text me because I am pretty stupid and I just said because a lot holy cheese. Anyways I think that is enough writing for tonight, I'll post another one tomorrow :P