Vanitas × Noé

Stealing Clothes

Jun's latest drawing of Noé is making me feel some type a way. Like, my son is wearing Vani's coat and earrings? His hair's done differently? He's surrounded by blue which probably represents Vani's blood (at least that's where my my mind immediately went)? And I just checked Jun's twitter again and she drew Vanitas wearing Noé's coat. Like... what did I do to be blessed with this content? It's so goddamn cute. It's like... the canon equivalent of them stealing each other's hoodies. Now, if only it could happen in the main story. So have a dumbass fanfic about it. YEET.

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"Noé!" Vanitas swung down from the roof and climbed in through the window. "Have you- what are you doing?"

Noé was standing in the middle of the room with Vanitas's coat draped over his shoulders. It pissed Vanitas off. He had left his coat for five minutes and his stupid vampire was wearing it? Not only that but he wasn't even wearing it correctly. His arms weren't even in the sleeves, Noé was wearing it like a cloak. And he looked good in it! The bastard!

"I'm not doing anything." He said, apparently clueless.

"What are you wearing, idiot?"

"Oh! Your coat. I've always been curious about it so seeing as it was just lying around I decided to try it on."

"Well, take it off! How would you like it if I stole your clothes!?"

"I wouldn't mind," Noé replied sincerely. "Domi and I used to always dress up in each other's or Teacher's clothing as children."

"We aren't children! And wait, you dressed in Dominique de Sade's clothes? So, you wore her dresses?"

"Yeah, but I grew out of it when we got older. I got a bit too tall to wear her things and she grew too fashion conscious to wear mine. It was really fun though."

"And you're not the least bit embarrassed?"

"Why would I be embarrassed?"

"Ugh. Never mind. Just give my coat back!"

"No, I rather find I'm enjoying it," Noé grinned.

"It doesn't match you at all. That personality doesn't go with it! If you won't give it back, two can play at this ridiculous game."

Vanitas imagined himself wearing Noé's white coat and grinned. He would look better in it than the vampire himself. It was true, white wasn't his colour, but that wasn't going to stop him. Noé would regret stealing from him! He even grabbed the scarf (A/N to be honest calling it a scarf doesn't seem right but I don't know what it is) Noé often wore with it. Vanitas felt smug until he slipped it on. Then, he realised his miscalculation. Noé was eleven centimetres taller than him and a noticeable amount broader too. His clothes were too big. Vanitas stared down at the too-long sleeves, scowling. Then he heard laughter.

"Hey! Shut up, Noé!"

Noé didn't shut up. "But, you're so, small! And your reaction!"

"What the hell's funny about this!?" Vanitas flapped the sleeves of Noé's coat. "You're a goddamn tree!"

"Self-conscious, Vanitas?"

"Oh, look at me, I'm Noé. Oh my god! Is that a lamppost!? I've never seen one before. A country bumpkin like me can't help but be impressed!" Vanitas strutted about mockingly.

Noé laughed. "I'm Vanitas, everyone I meet is below me! ...except in height of course."

"Girls fall all over me everywhere I go but I fail to notice because I'm so innocent. Oh, Vanitas! Please tell me! What on Earth is love?"

"I have no idea what love, or any other emotion, is. I'm too cold and logical to deal with such plebeian concepts."

"Damn it, if you're going to impersonate me, put my coat on right. You're still wearing it wrong!"

"You're not much better. Grow a few inches and then try wearing it again."

"Why you-"

Everything descended into chaos for a little while. The two of them arguing back and forth about how the other should better imitate them. It ended with Vanitas replacing his gloves with a pair of Noé's and Noé putting on some of Vanitas's ear cuffs. He put them on the wrong ear, probably to intentionally annoy Vanitas. He couldn't wear his earrings though as he didn't have pierced ears. And he was still wearing Vanitas's coat wrong! They promptly resumed their mocking of each other.

"Oh boy! I sure do love tarte tatin! And any other bland pastry made of apples and sugar. Terrible sweets are just the best!"

"I hate sweet things. Not only are sweet food disgusting but sweet personalities? Genuinely caring about things? Repulsive."

"Oh, Murr, you're such a sweet cat. You always bite and scratch me and you would leave me for any woman, you're the best."

"The book of Vanitas is the most important thing in the world to me. I sleep with it by my side and if Noé even thinks about touching it I'll slit his throat."

"Oh, wow, a person who tried to kill me! It's okay though, they're a good person! I just need to talk to them and everything will be great."

"Another person? They must automatically be terrible. I'd better made sure they know I'm a jerk and keep far away from me."

"Look at me, standing on the moral high ground! Look how much better than you I am! I always do the honourable thing even when it's stupid."

"Everyone is so naive. Unlike me, someone who never acts impulsively."

Vanitas laughed a little, "hey, Noé that's probably enough. We're close to getting personal. I might actually offend you next time."

"You're probably right. That was fun though!"

Vanitas snorted, "sure. I think I'll stick to my own clothes though."

"I don't know, I kind of like your coat. And I liked seeing you in mine." Noé said earnestly.

Vanitas blinked, "what are you on about? Honestly, you're so weird."

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Me: is 10cm shorter than Vanitas

Also me: makes fun of Vanitas for being shorter than Noé

I got so close to their imitations of one another getting real personal. Like, I had to delete some stuff because I was like, this is fluff, where did this angst come from? I don't want angst right now. I'm sure Jun has that covered for now.