The Secret Affair (Kellin Quinn/Sleeping With Sirens)

Chapter 26 - Addictions

I felt real tears gathering, but I couldn't afford it. This had never happened before, why was it now? Images flashed through my mind. His appearance.

Blue eyes.

Shaggy, black hair.

A voice of an angel.

Soft lips.

My breathing became a struggle and was more exasperated.

"Oh you know you love me!" Kellin imitated a young school girl. He did well enough to get giggles out of me. I got a hold of myself and turned serious.

"Nope."

"No what?" Kellin's face showed concentration.

"I don't love you." Kellin was instantly hurt. His eyes and body showed for it.

"I....but....."

"That would be an understatement..." I whispered in his ear, snuggling into his warmth.

"You scared me you bitch!" He laughed, and the vibrations hit my head. I let out a squeal as I was thrown over a thin, yet muscular, shoulder.

Now sweet and sour memories were controlling me. There was not fighting this.

The whole world stopped the minute I realised, Kellin was starting in front of us. I don't know how I got so lucky. I really don't. But Kellin's eyes? They met mine. He smiled, and by his eyes, I could tell it was meant for me. If You Can't Hang was their first song. The minute Kellin's voice met my eardrums, I no longer gave a damn to those screaming fans, pushing and screeching for his attention. I just sang along a little to loudly. Smiled a little to big. Swayed a little to gracefully. And my eyes, the whole time, kept catching his. He didn't refuse the contact. The only thing better was when he walked to where I was standing. He came up to the barrier holding back the crazy crowd, and ever so softly, slowly, hypnotically, grabbed my hand. Sparks. They flew. They blew up into fireworks. And they lingered when Kellin pulled away. I didn't even catch the rest of their songs. But Kellin? He was dazed too. Like he had felt something also. But, of course, all good things in life will come to an end. It was late, and I let Harmony drive again.

No longer numb, evidently being over-powered with emotion, I pulled away.

"I can't," I whispered, barely audible. Without another sound, peep, I gathered everything and just ran. Tears were now steadily pouring down my cheeks as my heels started clicking against a new sidewalk.

"Never Again," I wailed softly. A few steady breathes later, and I was in front of a gas station. I walked right in, checking for my new I.D. Yep, I had it. I found a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of Sky Vodka, and I looked through their 'drug' aisle. I found a bottle of pain killers. I grabbed them up and added them to the creaking basket I had. Lastly, I walked to see where the personal needs were. Where razors were. I found a pack to replace a man's facial shaver, and threw it in too. I stumbled to the cashier, hurriedly piling the suspicious items onto the counter. He didn't speak at all, just rang them up and told me the total. I paid, then walked off. I let out a breath of relief to be at my hotel.

Once I was inside, I rushed to the bathroom. My lighter was in there with an ashtray which could hold cigarettes on the side. I lit one, took a long drag from it, and set it in the small space. Once that was done I stuffed a towel under the door and locked it.

Kellin; This is goodbye. I messed up big time. I am sorry I fell in love with you, and I am sorry I just ruined everything you worked for. I want you to stay on the Warped Tour each and every year, and forget me. Forget 'us' ever happened. So one of us will leave a fair life. I know you must hate me now, and I won't be keeping contact. How could I? I just really fucked up this time. You have no clue. Why did you choose me? How? You were the only exception. Always have been, always will be. I will never stop loving you Kellin Quinn.