𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐆

二十三

I'm taking off of my thoughts when Jaehyun clears his throat again.

«Taeyong...I want to apologize to you.»
His voice is low; his tone is trembling.

If I wasn't sitting on the bed, I think I would fall on the ground.
Because Jung Fucking Jaehyun is in my hospital room, making an apology.

«Did you hit your head before coming here?»
My tone is ironic, almost angry.

«I'm sorry Taeyong. I didn't realize how much I've hurt you before. I...»
He makes a pause and I can see a tear falling onto his left cheek.

He walks toward me, and I automatically move back, scared, losing all my previous confidence. My back is against the wall.

I'm trapped.

«No please don't be scared! You don't have to be scared of me anymore!»
I see panic rushing into his eyes when I moved back.

«What do you want from me Jaehyun?»
I ask, terribly confused.

«I want to apologize Taeyong, I'm sincerely sorry for what I've done to you. I was an idiot and I was hurting you and I'm fucking sorry.»
Another tear falls on his cheek.

I'm so confused. How could he change his mind in a such short time?
«I...»
I try to answer but my words stay stuck in my throat.

«I understand if you don't forgive me, I don't ask you to. But I want you to know that I'm not going to hurt you anymore, I promise you.»
He sits on my bed, in front of me.
«Can I touch your cheek?»
He asks suddenly.

«What?»
I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, really not getting what all this mean.
«Uh...yes I guess...»
I answer, totally confused.

Slowly, the palm of his hand is on my cheek. His hand is warm, heating up my cold skin.
He moves his hand slowly, drawing circles with his thumb.

I don't know what's happening in his head.
I also don't know what's happening in mine.
I'm so confused. I feel too much emotions.
Fear. Sadness.
Happiness.

I don't understand why he's here; I don't understand why he's touching me softly like that.

«Jaehyun...»
I was about to ask him to stop but he doesn't let me talk.

«Say that again.»

«What?»
I've never been this confused in all my life.

«Say my name again.»
He orders me.
«Please...»
He soften as he sees the scared look on his face.

«Jaehyun...»
I whisper, a curious feeling in my stomach.

«I'm so sorry Taeyong...»
He tells, moving back his hand,

«Are you okay with your shoulder?»
I ask.
He looks surprised by the sudden question.

«Uh...I-It's fine...»
He stutters.

«Let me see it.»
It's now my turn to give orders.
He doesn't think much and take off his shirt, exposing his chest to me.
The wound seems to be better; it's cicatrizing correctly.
«I think that in two weeks you'll be totally fine, it's cicatrizing well.»
I tell him, relieved.

A little smile on his face, he nods his head.
I really want to ask him how he got stab.
But I don't.

«Taeyong, I know that you're still scared of me, I can see it; but you don't have to anymore, I will not to hurt you anymore. I know that you can't just forgive me like this, because what I did to you was terrible, I understand if you don't forgive me at all, I understand if you hate me, I deserve it.»
He says in one-breath.

«I don't hate you; I hate what you've done to me, but I don't hate you.
But don't except us to be friends now, this is not going to happened.»
I make a pause, preparing myself for what I'm going to say.
«I'm going to explain you something. I knew you before we entered to high school, I know you don't remember it, but we were from the same middle school.»
I start to explain.
«I didn't have a crush on you, but I thought that you were attractive. But that's not a surprise, you're attractive, and you know it.
When I saw that we were in the same class in the start of high school, I was very happy, I thought we'd be friends. But this day, Yuta saw me starring at you and told you. I remember what the first insult was. "Don't ever look at me like that again, disgusting faggot".»
I tell, my eyes tearing up at the painful memory.
«I was so hurt. I never was confronted to homophobia before Yuta and you.
I started cutting myself this day. I started starving myself more each time you called me "fat". I want to hate you so much. Because it's your fault if I'm depressed. Because all this is your fault. Because I should hate you. But I don't.»

«I'm going to do something Taeyong, I need to. I'm so sorry.»
He says, his voice trembling.

I don't know what to do, so I don't move and wait for him to do. Whatever he wants to do.
I don't know what I expected, but it was definitely not this.

Oh my god.

He's kissing me.

Jaehyun is kissing me.

Jaehyun lips are moving against mine and I feel my self-control decrease.

I'm so confused about what's happening.
Why is he kissing me randomly like that?
It doesn't make any sense.

His hand moves on thigh and I let out a moan. I'm not used to be touch like that.
«What are you doing Jaehyun?»
I ask him, moving back from his sweet lips.

«I dunno, but I like it.»
He says, eyes in mine, before kissing me again.

And this time I let my self-control disappear to move my lips against his.
My hands grip his shirt as the kiss become more intense.
His tongue playing with mine, a game of domination.

I should hate this. He should hate this too.
But here we are.

I stick his back on the bed and sit astride on him.
I hear his breath becoming instable.
I pin his wrists above his head and start to kiss his neck.
He lets out soft moans as I suck the skin of his neck, marking him.

«Taeyong, why do I like this?»
He asks, destabilized.

«I dunno Jaehyun, but I like this too.»
I tell with an unusual confidence.

«Kiss me again please.»
Jaehyun begs.

«As you want, baby.»

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bonjour,

the first jaeyong (real) kiss! how do you feel about this?

thanks guys for the 9k! i'm so happy when i see you voting and commenting the story! it's my first story and i didn't expect to have so much people who likes it!
i'm very happy about that, love yall!

anyway,
next chapter next sunday, please look forward to it!

- 𝔃𝓪𝓬𝓴