Remembering Sunday (The Relapse Symphony, Book One)

Angels Take Us, Demons Save Us

Alex: Hey...you ok? Something seemed up today..
Sky:Uhm..yeah. I'm fine.
Alex:Sky I know that's not true. You're not fine I can tell from the look in your eyes.
Sky:Lex I'm fine..quit worrying about me you have enough of your own problems to deal with you don't need mine.
Alex: I want your problems. I want to help you. You have to let me at least try.
Sky:I'm sorry Lex...just forget about me. I can't be helped.
Alex:Don't you get it? I can't just forget about you. I care about you. You have to let me in, Sky please. Let me at least try to help.
Sky:I can't. You shouldn't care about me. I'm a ticking time bomb. Soon enough I'm going to explode and take out everything in my path. I don't want you to be included.
Alex:If you're going to explode, I want to be the one holding you when you do.
Sky: Lex you just don't get it. I can't hurt anyone else. I've done enough damage as it is. I'm sorry...it's just a matter of time.

I threw my phone down on the table and buried my head in my arms. Just let him in..he'll help. No he won't he just wants to hurt you like everyone else. The voices battled it out in my mind over what I should do. I knew one thing for sure. I wasn't going to let him in.

"Excuse me ma'am...I'm going to have to ask you to either buy someone or leave." A waitress states.
"We'll take two hot chocolates." A randomly appearing Alex says.

I groan and bury my head back in my arms. How on earth did he find me?

"It wasn't that hard to find you you know. You always come here when you're running from something. So now I'm here. You can't just lock your phone and be done with me now." Alex states

I hit the lock button on my phone and realized I had 3 missed calls and several texts from Alex. I didn't even notice. I must've dozed off... Either way Alex was now here, and I have to come up with some reason for him not to get involved. Depression doesn't only affect me. It affects anyone around me. Especially Alex. He's always trying to find out more but I just can't tell him and it kills me either way. If I tell him, no I just can't tell him. And if I don't tell him he's only going to get hurt from trying to get in. Its not like I'm going to be alive much longer anyway. I didn't even plan on spending most of the money I had. I wanted to give it to TRS to help them out with gas money and things like that. I'm not even worth a dollar being spent on. I'd pay Alex back if he tried paying for the coffee.

I started shaking and collapsed onto my table crying. I just can't take this. Any of it. What am I going to do for 10 more days? Where am I going to go? I can't stay in this cafe forever. My dad is probably going to end up calling the cops. My face will be everywhere. I've thought this plan out of running away forever, and now that I'm doing it nothing's working out the way it's supposed to go. I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself. Nobody can help me. I'm a worthless disgusting mistake. If I were never born none of this would've happened. Or if I actually did die last winter. I pulled out my suicide note to my dad and Alex adding more onto my dads letter. And clawing at my arm reopening previous wounds. I ran out of the bathroom, grabbed my bag and board, and skated off to god know where. I had no real destination in mind I just knew I had to go somewhere far. I had to make it to Indianapolis by the concert anyway so I just head in the general direction of Old National Theatre. I shoved my earbuds in and skated for what seemed like ever.

"I've been searching for an exit, but I'm lost inside my head;
Where I spend every waking moment wishing I was dead.
For a few minutes get me away from here,
For a few minutes wipe away my tears.
For I am lost right now as the ocean deep;
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.
Yeah I am lost right now as the ocean deep;
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.

It's like there's cancer in my blood,
It's like there's water in my lungs,
And I can't take another step,
Please tell me I am not undone.
It's like there's fire in my skin
And I'm drowning from within -
I can't take another breath,
Please tell me I am not undone.

I've been searching for an exit but I'm lost inside my head;
Where I spend every waking moment wishing this would end.
I can't take another step, I cannot live inside my mind,
I can't face another day, I am so f*cking tired.
For I am lost right now as the ocean deep,
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.
Yeah I am lost right now as the ocean deep,
I am low my friend and how my heart does sink.

It's like there's cancer in my blood,
It's like there's water in my lungs
And I can't take another step -
Please tell me I am not undone.
It's like there's fire in my skin
And I'm drowning from within.
I can't take another breath -
Please tell me I am not undone.

I've been searching for an exit but I'm lost inside my head;
Where I spend every waking moment, wishing I was dead.
I'll take another step for you -
I'll shed my tears until I drown, or until I am underground.
I'll take another breath for you...
Will you still be there when I'm home, out from the great unknown?

It's like there's cancer in my blood,
It's like there's water in my lungs,
And I can't take another step -
Please tell me I am not undone.
It's like there's fire in my skin
And I'm drowning from within.
I can't take another breath -
Please tell me I am not undone."

I couldn't feel my legs anymore and wound up at some park. It had gotten pretty late by now so I figured I would stay here for the night. I was starving but my legs felt like they were going to fall off and I had no idea where I was. I pulled on a hoodie and used my bag as a pillow curling up on a park bench making sure to cling to my board as if it got stolen I was pretty much screwed.

Alex POV
All of a sudden Sky was a crying mess. Oh god what did I do wrong? Maybe I shouldn't of come looking for her...no I should've. I noticed she had a bag with her. She had to of run away what else would she be doing here with a bag? She ran off into the bathroom crying. Sh*t I thought to myself, this is all my fault. She ran back out, her makeup smudged all over her face, grabbed her bag and skated off as fast as she could. I tried to run after her but was stopped by the waitress. I quickly pulled out a handful of bills, shoved them at her, and took off out the door. By now Sky was long out of sight. I jumped in my car and took off searching for her.

I had been looking for her for 3 hours. No one had seen her. How hard was it to miss a girl with bright red hair on a penny board?! It was now 10pm and completely dark and still there was no sign of her. I checked back at her house only to find all the lights off and neither her dad or her anywhere to be found. Frustrated I had to head back home before my own dad killed me for being out so late with no explanation. I'll look for her again in the morning. I won't stop until I find her and know that she's okay.

~Authors Note~
Aye so the song used is Pittsburgh by The Amity Affliction cx