Yakeen Ka Safar

A storm and sleepless nights

Back with a bang.
Literally with a bang.
Warning: Some mature content at the end. If you're not comfortable with some intimate moments, kindly don't drag it to the end.
Otherwise, You all read it and I should go, find a place to hide :))

The September air was cold and the lamp light caught the mist of the valley. A dim crescent moon hung low over Neelum. Otherwise, the night was black. She stood with the bedroom window, her head resting with the transparent glistening glass. The air that surrounded her was quite and peaceful with an admirable pacifism. It was the kind of day for her, where even a feather would fall without drifting one way or the other. That night was silent, so was Zubiya. Her heart and emotions were still, utterly still.

It was almost five days since Asfandyar had left for San Francisco and she couldn't feel more incomplete than ever. His vacancy had left her dry and heavyhearted. The ache of longing to be with him echoed through the very marrow of her bones. It was a chill wind trapped in the chambers of her heart. And as the allotted time for his return drew nearer, time itself seemed to slow to such a leisurely pace it seemed cruel to Zubiya, ringing out the seconds, so that final week left felt like a month. Zubiya never knew that missing someone could take over every fiber of your being and wring you out like a wet sponge every day. It was a torment she was unprepared for.

With her long delicate fingers tracing abstract patterns on the glass window, she remembered just how a week before he was packing his things, purely with the support of his wife. Together they were tick-checking the list for his essentials. Toothbrush and paste, shampoo, deodorant, his shaving kit, socks, plane tickets, earphones and all the things required for his twelve days trip.

"Asfi. Laptop ka charger rakh liya hai?"

"Keep your power bank, charged, with you."

"Passport aur tickets yaad se rakh li jiye ga."

"I guess you'll need EU adapters too."

"Mein ne UV sunscreen bhi rakh diya hai. Jis tarhan ja rahay hain, ussi tarhan wapis aayein. You know sun-tans are severe and I don't like them much."

"I've paired your white shirt with brown pants. Theek hai?"

"US dollars, inner pocket mein rakhay hain."

For a week, after he had left she woke up and found her bed to be cold and lonely. She missed his muscular arm that she dreamt were wrapped around her as much as she missed the musky smell of him. She missed him when he was gone. She missed him so much. She missed his smirk, his wealthy laugh. His husky voice, his witty comments, his warmth, his mischievous orbs and everything.

For a week she could not sleep. She was sleepless, unfortunately.
With Asfandyar no longer there, sleep became a fleeting chore. Zubiya wrestled at nights with the dark and the light trying to find comfort from either side but most times she lost the fight.

One cold night, she tossed and turned but just couldn't find the right position. A lingering haze of sleep sat somewhere at the back of her mind but was too far away to reach, floating in the pool of her memories. Icy discomfort blossomed in her chest and made it difficult for her to breathe.
Trying to make herself fall into slumber, she took as deep breaths as she could, but many just caught in her throat, like an icy wind had blown down there and managed to freeze the air solid. At that moment, Zubiya knew these twelve nights without him were going to be long.

Asfandyar was Zubiya's safety, his harbour, a place to call home no matter where he was. In all the wakeful hours he was always the emerging specter and beneath it all laid Zubiya's heart.
Only five days and her mind had been a whirlpool, swift, unprogressive and incessant, a torrent of thoughts leading nowhere, spinning round swift and steady. Her mind was blank; where there used to be dreams, were now a heavy blackness. Her eyes as stationary as the silhouette of her bedside lamp. His devoid left her sleepless, how unfortunate.