After The Rain

Tropical Depression Jade

    "Jade has plenty of milk pumped," she said, nonchalantly. "I can light up if I want to. You are not Dexter Collins."

    "No I'm not Dexter Collins, but I damn shole is your daddy," I clapped back. "That paper framed in our bedroom backs me up!" She stood to her feet, and got in my face, pointing her finger at the side of my head. "Funny you say that, considering the fact that you're regretting that piece of paper!" Within a split second, the slap she gave me earlier, was gladly returned. "You put your hands on the wrong b*tch, B*tch!" she yelled. "You lucky I'm not beating you down out here!" I clapped. "F*ck you mean, Jade has enough milk pumped? Get out your feelings about me and what I said, and think about our child!"

  "You're right Jeddie, and I apologize," she spoke with remorse in her eyes. "I clearly wasn't thinking about the fact that Jade depends on me. Usually when I get in my feelings, Libby or you could calm me down. But I don't have Libby anymore, and blazing was the only way I could cope with my demons."

   "Yeah, but you're a mother now," I replied. "You have to think about her."

    "You're absolutely right, and I don't blame you for slapping the sh*t outta me," she replied.

  "You're getting a little lenient with the cursing, since you can't keep up with the jar," I jokingly chuckled. She playfully punched my arm, then placed her head on my shoulder. "Jeddie, what are we gonna do about us?" she asked.

   "I guess we can try to work it out," I replied. "Maybe I'm having these feelings because I'm a new parent, although I was feeling some type of way, before you had the baby. We're almost two years into our marriage, and now we have a daughter. The pressure is weighing down on me to be a good husband and father. I'm trying to juggle having a wife and child who depend solely on me."

    "I understand Jeddie," she said. "Truth be told, I'm feeling the pressure of being a new mom as well. I only put on a straight face for you, but I'm actually very tired."

   "Then, as the first step to repairing this relationship, how about you have a break tonight, and I'll take care of things," I suggested. "I'll clean up the kitchen and take care of Jade so you can rest up."

  "And, how do you think that'll help?" she questioned. "If the pressure is lifted off me, you'll have double the pressure."

  "I'll try anything at this point," I replied. "I don't want to give up on us." I turned to face her, then stroked the side of her previously stung cheek. "And, stop doubting your looks, especially since you've had a baby. You are still the most gorgeous woman that has ever walked in my heart. Looks are vain, Lani. If I was going for looks, I would've went for your cousins before we got together, but even though you don't think it, you're way more beautiful than both of them combined. If I'm being honest, you were at your sexiest being pregnant."

  "I surely didn't feel sexy," she confessed. "I felt like Mina off, 'Sing'.

  "I didn't see Mina, I saw Diandra Forrest," I smirked. She smiled as I picked her up bridal style, then brought her to the bedroom. I laid her down in the bed, then gave her a peck on her lips. I gave her, her favorite book and placed the covers over her, then left out the room. Jade was already getting ready to sound off the alarm, so I hurried to her bassinet to grab her before she set it off. There she was, looking up at me with those jade color eyes, eating at her tiny fists, telling me, "Feed me." I picked her up, and brought her with me to the kitchen. Lina always pumps three bottles a day, so I can feed Jade whenever I'm off work. I grabbed one of the Playtex bottles out the refrigerator, and put it in the bottle warmer. She snuggled up deep in my chest, still gnawing on her fist, practically telling me to hurry up. The bottle was almost done, but she crinkled up her nose, and turned her smile to an authoritative frown, almost scaring the life outta me. I grabbed one of her sanitized Nuks, and placed it in her mouth but she spit it out instantaneously. I gently bounced her up and down with my left arm, and grabbed the bottle with my right. I transferred the bottle to my left hand, still holding my chunky monkey, to test the milk on the inside of my right wrist. The milk was a perfect warm temperature, ready for my daughter. Dinner smelt good; looks like barbecue ribs in that slow cooker, and baked beans in the roaster. Babygirl, soon as Daddy feeds you, he's about to chow down. We walked out of the kitchen to her bedroom, that was once my room when this was Lina's brother's condo. A rocking chair sat at the window, where I sit with her and have our daddy/daughter time. A personalized magazine holder, sat next to the glider, held some books that Lina and I read to Jade whenever we're rocking her in the chair. We sat down in the chair, her snuggled deep in my chest, just waiting for her dinner. I grabbed a book out the magazine rack, then gave her the bottle. The book I chose was, 'Goodnight Moon', one of my favorite stories that my real mom used to read to me when I was a kid. I've been getting used to this multitasking since she's been born; holding her bottle, while reading to her. I used to could never get it right, but since I made the decision to be a hands on father, I've been practicing more. Sometimes I even put her in Lina's breastfeeding sling and walk around with her. I absolutely love being a dad, and I should love being a husband, but both titles conflict with each other, and I hate it. As she closed her eyes to sleep for a little, I continued on rocking back and forth in the chair, reading her book to her. Finally, after I read the last line, she was knocked out. We got up out of the chair, then I placed her carefully on her back in her crib. I turned on her musical mobile, to make sure she's comfortable as she sleeps, then made sure she had on a clean diaper before I placed a thin receiving blanket over her. I turned on her baby monitor, then left out the room.