Unknowningly powerful

Part of the viewer

So here we are again.
Twinflame twinflame and another twinflame - again and again and again all the same.
Never going to change, reported telepathy and what have you, but is it enough...
I thought I taught her right, to underestimate something like that. And here I have more expectations of her and her reality ... then she comes to me and another guy buys her drinks and she'd rather want him for him and not me for me.

It hurts, and it shreds my soul and it just does, to think I told her I want to marry her... and I'm probably the only one who ever kissed her on her hands. Not like it matter now anyways, since she''ll rather have some sexy time with him...

I'll blame the distance then, the fact that we're miles apart and the fact that you probably want someone you can hold close to you... and not see once every three months... then I'm the asshole trying to connect the dots here... is it just her way of saying she wants me or is it just her bitch self wanting good frequension sex without any concent for my mind whatsoever...

To think, that once she and her sister figured out that I'm a virgin by scrying through a flame, that was the day when I was buzzled by the mustering mystery of their words... two beautiful telepathy sisters having a brainstorm together - and now thinking back to that day I wonder what happened, why I'm not good enough for her to hold a little bit for me, or was it never about that... I don't know. She always had that look she gave me that says : I see you... is it good enough now, only when you see me?

That's revolting. A revolutionary mind and many a people telling me they recognize me for pure energy. Or some sort of magick science shit. It makes me feel so... I don't know, as if magick was never good enough for her, which explains why she usually rejects my crystals - even though she does energy of her own... I was also told that my energy is too much so I suppose I got energy to blame for being too much... I don't understand though how someone treats someone so like shit.
Am I supposed to crawl after her ass after she has sex with a cockroach mediocre soul? I suppose I can change my thoughts too and leave the whole virgin shit alone... its not like I have a choice I just choose to keep myself for her since she is the best that ever happened to me and my mind... it's her choice if she wants to Chuck it all away for nights of satisfaction and pleasure , don't get me wrong here... the thing that seems so exciting for me at the moment is moving a bloody planet with cyanide and end my misery once and for all - let her scry on the seeds of good apples and I'll  make sure she'll feel her planet hitting her when I move it too. Simple and frequension for a rising mind.

So then what happens to me? I suppose I gotta smudge it with a thorn tree to catch all the vibes for The Creator... will He be pleased? I doubt what she does will please Him anyway... and so I doubt whatever a starpower cyanide suicide sounds like is all but pleasing for Him.
It's just in my capable hands if I want to take my life in the most powerful way ever imagined, never before has anyone ever controlled so deeply and spiritually powerful to the point where they can confidently say Starpower suicide without a shred of regret in their eyes for thinking of such a thing. It sounds humourous to say the least, also very hard-breaking for those who sees me and lives for me and loves me for what I do... so called magick science suicide.

I suppose it just really hurts.. the rejection hurts and it is hurtful to reject someone who loves me too for her and so much for the twinflame to the point where my heart got cold and dark and I don't want anyone else but her... so I don't know anymore, especially if all I can really do is think or type this and several will know and see this, it is intense and crazy and I have no words for this...

The manic sucks me in, it befriends me and I hate it. I hated it and I loved it too... so then I have a manic depression episode and I go and move a planet and sent it to other people's brains,like that wouldn't change their brains too.... so then am I not allowed to do it with manic depression anymore? That was intense...

I mean who the hell gives me permission to move a planet anyway. That very phrase is a daring and philosophical challenging phenomena in itself... I'm speechless.. and what makes me wonder the most is that she knows I move planets and she continues forward as if I'm just a standing statue in her mind.

I'm sorry I'm such a charger,  and that I have no means of changing for her anyways - I'm sorry I'm born like that and have no control over that. So I try and I try very hard to mind what I think because lately my thoughts aren't my own and that scares me the most... I mean what happened to thoughts been individualistical... nowadays I think and people hear... not voices in my head,people, living and breathing just as I am - telepathical minds caused by magick science frequension... to that I have no words.

I'm without a doubt a lost man in a world of a cave filled with fire and smoke, the smoke filled with Elder poision,  seeping into my very brain and eating my flesh away in its very canabalistical nature - cell by cell and piece by piece; so voluntarily I allow it, I breathe in the oxygen of poisonous fumes,  hoping it will kill me - at long last - DEATH! Sweet sweet miserable death.

Comparable to no one AM I. I'm not the only one moving planets, thankfully, that would''ve eaten me away if I'm the only one in this insane world moving planets with a mini gland , objects bigger than our Sun, easily moved by a Crystal mass, emiting chemical vibration as crystals normally do, emiting rays of light or intentions behond my breathing places.

And here I sit, inhaling that sweet posion again, hoping maybe another breath can kill me, at long last this wretched world will be rid of me.
Nothing like a little bit of coffee with your suicidal thoughts, alone or not alone, whatever my intentions are, I don't feel whole anymore, how someone can break someone like that- insane , that's bad?

That good? Or that bad?
I am a starpower Orgonite chef and my life is real and nothing typed her is a lie. Not a brim.
So go ahead and take a grin.