"shhh"

chap 2

I didn't too much care for it all. I tried to place as much distance as I could between me and it. 

I throw myself in school and my education. I wanted to help people and not take from it. 

That is something all gangs do. 

Take.

I hated that my brother still involved themselves in that lifestyle. 

I hated the thought of one day possibly losing them to it, just as I have lost loved ones before.

But being just sixteen I didn't have much say over two grown men. 

Trey is 25 and Khalil is 27. 

I couldn't complain too much though. 

They were always safe and moved as smart as they could.

And the lifestyle brought in good money. 

We were beyond well off, infact I don't remember the last time I checked the price tag on an item truth be told.

Still given our past, I worried for them. as any sane sister did.

I pushed the thoughts to the side and turned on my TV. 

I needed something to distract my racing mind...

I opted for rewatching Messy Mondays hosted by gotdamnzo 

Someone else's drama will surely distract me from my own.

1hr later

Pausing the show, on Chris and Queens segment I grew a tad curious as to if they were still hosting the meeting. 

I walked to my door quickly and cracked it a bit. 

The sounds were low down there so I ventured out. 

I paced down the stairs hitting the last step, I looked up again clearly hearing talking come to a swift halt. 

They indeed were still having a meeting and I just intruded. 

I meantly face palmed myself looking towards the man who was talking. 

Locking eyes with him, I felt a slight flutter come over me as his eye traveled all along my body. 

He was definitely a sight for sore eyes. Tall, brown skin, and beyond handsome. 

I broke my gaze upon him and walked passed the living room, heading for the kitchen. 

I need ice water after looking at McSteamy. 

After a few moments, the images of him passed my mind, much like they did with all the guys. 

Now don't get me wrong I definitely find men appealing and I'm accustomed to them. 

I just never had a crush on one, let alone a boyfriend. 

Mainly because one i don't talk. 

Ive tried. 

Really I have.

It's just like ever since that night I've felt voiceless. 

I can't really describe it and I hate thinking about it. 

And secondly, my brother would kill any guy that even tried it. 

"Was good withca ma" I heard behind me 

I turned around and looked at the guy from before. 

Snapping me from my thoughts, I gave him a smile as a response as I began backing away, giving us more space as he continued to get closer to me.

"Relax mamas" he said looking me up and down again 

"Ion bite" he finished licking his lips like a hungry caveman

I took this moment to truly glance over his features, now fully drinking in how good he looked.

We just stood there, looking over each other like our favorite TV show.

Slightly uncomfortable I swayed back and forth moving my body weight from foot to foot. 

This was the most contact I have come this close with a boy, besides my brothers of course.

As we have already gone over, I don't talk much. 

Not when I was younger. 

Not now.

Throughout my years going through school my brothers told every one of my special cases. 

So from that, teachers never called on me.

Kids avoid me like the plague. 

They had two very good reasons. The last name I carried, and me being a straight weird-o.

I mean I wasn't obviously to the fact that me not speaking is.. for lack of a better word.. weird or odd to most. 

What I have is classified as trauma-induced mutism. 

Growing up you get stares and looks, people talk about you a lot. But eventually, you'll grow used to it all and it won't matter. 

I looked away for a minute glancing down at my glass of water. 

The ice cubes began melting, and time passed as we stood there. 

I looked back at him, and his gaze stayed.

I knew him from around school, you noticed a lot more when you quiet down. 

Needless to say, as he was hanging out with my brothers. 

He was bad news. 

No good for me. 

I broke this not-so-awkward exchange between us by backing up and leaving the kitchen through the second opening. 

Leaving him placed in there by his lonesome, I headed back to my room. 

To my surprise, hours later he lingered in my head. 

Like a bad jingle from a company song. 

I couldn't get him out of my head, but I must. 

I couldn't. 

No. 

I wouldn't. 

I won't allow myself to get involved with my brother's kind of business. 

I won't go threw that kind of heartbreak again. 

Not ever again. 

It will be just a passing thought surely. 

Just a passing thought.

Nothing more. 

Just a what-if. 

Nothing more.

____________________________________________________________________________

*This chapter has been updated and edited*