crack one shots

Fine China (China x Reader)

Inspired by tumblr user @nekotalia

A/N: This is really bad. I am not a good author. I just need somewhere to post my shitposts into za warudo. So here ya go. Enjoy, comrades.

China recently invited you over to his house to buy some fine china. Being an avid collector of random items. You couldn't turn the situation down. Especially at that price! Thinking about where you will put the items on your shelf when you buy them, you head over to his house.

Upon getting to his home,you find the door open. What kid of person leaves the door to their house open? You think to yourself. However, since he was expecting you, you just waltz in to China's house anyway.

"China? Where are you?" you call into the empty home. But only the void answers, in silence. Looking around his house, you see many antique photos and ancient sculptures/memorabilia around. Damn, you would give anything to have these. However, since you only came here for the fine china, you keep looking.

After looking around, you see that China doesn't actually have any fine china on display. Maybe he was just keeping it somewhere else for you? Scouring the whole bottom floor, you conclude that it should be somewhere upstairs, and make your way up there.

The upstairs is much smaller than the bottom floor. It should take a lot less time to look in here. You gently push open the door right in front of you.

Upon entering the room, you are greeted with a sight that you really didn't want to see at this time of day. A beautifully decorated room, with rose petals scattered across the floor and scented candles smelling of (favorite scent) flickered in the nightstand. The bed, made with red covers and pillows, housed a fully naked China, holding a rose in his mouth.

You wonder if France had anything to do with it.

"Hey China," you ask nervously, "Where's the fine china you wanted to sell me?"

"I am the fine China," China replied with a lustful grin on his face.
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You immediately combust into flames.