Mary Poppins: Practically Perfect

Chapter Three: Extremely Stubborn and Suspicious

As it turned out, the Measuring entailed a formation of a line of first years at the front of the hall, all of whom were very nervous about what was about to happen.

Miss Mason walked around to the front of the staff table and reached a hand into a small bag she was carrying, causing a huge intake of breath from the thirty eleven year olds at the front of the hall.

I eyed her hand suspiciously as a queer little brown object was pulled from the bag. Miss Mason held it lightly between her thumb and forefinger and looked at it, smiling, as if expecting it to do something. I looked around the room, to look for some reassurance that I wasn't the only one who believed this act to be a complete nonsense, but was met with a display of  faces presenting the exact same expectant look. I looked behind to where Erin stood with an expression that said, "Beats me" and shrugged to say the same. Reluctantly and with no sense of expectation at all, I turned around and stared at the round thing in Miss Mason's grasp.

Then, as I was beginning to grow tired of looking at an inanimate object, something most peculiar occurred. Out of the object sprang a yellow cord, almost a tongue, coiling and spiralling in the air, performing acrobatics and causing a round of applause from the students and staff. I simply stood still, not quite sure of what to do.

And then, something very unexpected happened. The "tongue" began to spin itself into some sort of shape. I looked closely until its nature was identifiable - a pair of lips. It seemed as though the other first years were just realising this too as there was a collective intake of breath from all around me. Gazing across the sea of students, it became apparent that this was a normal procedure as the rest of the school bore a look of calm upon their faces.

Just when I thought this day could not possibly get any madder, the queer little brown and yellow object did something I thought possible only in fairytales. It began to speak... Not only that, it was speaking in rhyme! Almost singing!

"Good evening to students and teachers,
And other peculiar creatures
Who stand over there,
With an off-putting stare
And bemusement all over their features!"

The tape measure flew up into the air, out of Miss Mason's grasp and pointed in the direction of the first years - who, myself included, had formed a somewhat confused, terrified huddle. The students at the tables laughed as the song began again:

"I won't keep you long in suspense,
Of the task which is simply immense!
So students, my dears
Let's hear whooping and cheers
For the Measuring's 'bout to commence!"

The whole student body before us erupted into applause - there was no such whooping or cheering of course, but a tasteful clap was given by all before Miss Mason stepped forward, pinching the tape measure out of the air and saying, "That's quite enough of that!" Although the glint in her eyes suggested she had secretly enjoyed the display.

She turned and addressed the first years. "I will call your names in reverse order of surname. When I call your name please step forward and stand up straight next to me." She paused briefly, plunging a hand deep into the bag she carried, which I expected to have the same properties as my carpet bag, and drew out a roll of parchment. Opening it, she announced: "Hannah Young!"

A small, freckled, blonde girl emerged from our midst, her hands to her face and practically whimpering as she approached Miss Mason.
What was going to happen? I thought as Hannah stood, facing the mass older students, all of whom were staring straight at her in anticipation.

Miss Mason smiled at the crowd and lowered the talking tape measure.

Were we going to have our heights checked?  Is it some kind of test? I thought of my own height... I was only around five feet tall and there were definitely girls here taller than that. And poor Hannah could only have been a little over four feet!