It was another day in Ninjago. Nothing to do. No one to fight. Seemed like a happily ever after, right? Wrong. I'm Kai Smith. I'm not what you would call normal. No, it's not because I'm gay or Polyamorous. It's because I have suicidal thoughts and thoughts of hurting myself on a weekly basis. I'm dating Cole and Lloyd. Cole and I go to school together. He's an amazing boyfriend when he's not being an asshole. Lloyd is just the sweetest. Whenever I'm down he says, "Be happy, I demandeth!", It's so adorable. My main reason for this story is I don't think I'll ever get better, at school today I had a relapse in the boys bathroom, I self harmed, I lied to my new friend Harumi, we met the first day of school, this year's her freshman year, whatever comes after freshman is my year, 10th grade. I'm 16, Lloyd is 12, Cole is 17, and Harumi is 14, Skylor is 13, but she's not in this story, or letter should I say. I want my friends, family, and other loved ones to know that what I'm about to do is no one's fault, but mine, I honestly don't know if I'll succeed or not, but I'm going to try, try and do what you may ask? Cut deep enough to bleed out and die, I'm sorry, but I'm not ok and I never will be, these are my last words, I honestly don't know if it's because I don't have my Latuda or Zoloft or if it's because I feel I'll fail everyone in my school and family, including my parents, Maya and Ray, I'm mostly worried about what Sensei Wu and Sensei Misako will think of me doing this, Sensei Misako isn't ok, she's arguing with Sensei Wu right now, probably because of her three strokes, who knows at this point? Not me, certainly not me, I don't know anything anymore, besides what I am about to do and how it will effect those I love and care about in the long run, to every elemenal master and Sensei and teammate I've grown to know, NONE of this is your fault, it IS and ALWAYS will be MY FAULT, now as the rain pores down on the roof of this seemingly empty house, I forever say my farewells, goodbye Ninjago, I hope you may remain in peace and harmony without your Master of Fire to light the way. Sincerely your eternal flame, Kai Smith.
imhereforgaynotyou I'm so sorry Lloyd.
