If I stay

He loves me, He loves me not

*2 weeks later*
I still can't get over what he did to me? Was it truly a spur of the moment? Or did he actually want to Hurt me? I want to believe, I'm trying hard to believe it wasn't meant for. I need it to be so because I am finally discharged from the hospital and now I have to go live with him. I know that I said I would try to revive our marriage, but I don't know how much it will work.

XXX

"Hey" he says coming up from behind me making me jump a little. "Sorry I didnt--" "no it's okay and hi" I say cutting him off.
"Ready to go?" He ask genuinely.
"Yeah I just need to sign out at the nurses station" I inform him.
"I'll bring your stuff to the car and meet you out front"
"No that's okay I can carry it" I say. There was this awkward tension like it was a first date, he was trying to be a gentleman. And honestly I appreciated the little gestures. I met up with him at the car out front after caving in and letting him take my stuff.
"All right lets get you home." He says trying to ease the awkward silence. He puts his arm on the center console with his palm facing up. I decide whether or not I should take him up on his offer. I go for it, forgetting how warm his hands are I relax into his grip. He smiles softly at me I try to return it as genuinely as I can.

XXX

"Momma!" Zola says running towards me when we get back to the house. I lifted her up in my arms and attacked her face with kisses "Hi princess I missed you so so so much!" "Me too momma!"

XXX

It was now late at night and I was getting tired. I still get worn out easily, not fully recovered from the incident. "So... What shall we do for sleeping arrangements?" He asked me.
"Uhm I think that maybe it would be best if I stayed in the guest room for a week so I can get used to being back under the same roof" I tell him.
"No I'll stay in the guest room you can stay in our bed." I almost giggle from him being so polite but I disguise it with a cough. He looks disappointed when I don't.

XXX

*Derek's POV*
I got my hopes up when I thought she was going to giggle, oh man that giggle it always manages to melt my heart like butter.
"Okay well I'm going to get ready for bed" she says.
"Okay" I say. I see the corners of her mouth turn up in the slightest of a smile. I smile back.
When she steps into the room and I stand at the door watching her with pain. I am in a bottomless pit of regret. She comes out of the bathroom and climbs in the bed. I walk over to giver her a kiss on the head. At first she pulls away then she leans into me and gives me a hug and I return it. "Good night" she whispers. "Good night I'm sorry baby." I tell her. She pulls away and starts to drift off to sleep.

XXX

I wake up to the screams of bloody murder. I run to where Mer is. She is still asleep but it thrashing around screaming. I gather her in my arms and it wakes her and she starts fighting me. "NO! Noooo please no!" She screams. "Mer it's just me, calm down please." I say soothingly. Sobs rock her body.
She finally starts to calm down "thanks I'm sorry I woke you" she says. "Shhhh it's okay" I say placing my finger on her lips to silence her. We lie there together for a little longer with her wrapped protectively in my arms. She falls asleep again.

XXX
Okay short update sorry it took so long I've been really busy!!! I am almost done with swim season and I have conference next week! Yay! Anyways this is I actually dunno so what do Ya think? I will try to update again this weekend! Review comment ily all! 😘😘