HARM -|another story by HaillieMason|-

Harm | Chapter 1

          Life and death are similar in ways, so is reincarnation... so what if I died? Would I automatically be reincarnated, but forget all the people I love most? will I be standing in a black surrounded area, alone, with no one by my side? Will I be crying for help to get out of the place or mind I'm in right now?
          I always think the same thing everyday, I want to die, but will miss my friends, my family, and special people that are always  In my heart after I met them. Calling for help won't do anything, screaming In An abyss of nothing wont help. Cutting my way to feel better will only hurt me, taking pills to make me feel better about the way I look wont hurt, at least in my eyes... starving myself at breakfast and dinner won't help, neither will crying.. but I wish it would... trying to hurt myself won't do good, taking pills won't kill my feelings, crying in my sleep because the one I love liked someone else, doesn't mean I should die. It should mean to move on from that, not from life.
          Sometimes I'm emotional, .. I would just think to cut, and it will all feel better, just like last year.. my mind, my bruises  scars and burns.. they never ever healed. But why, just like feelings. Spacing out in class, and pretending to pay attention when my friends are talking, but feel dizzy. Almost blacking out when my parents found out I was cutting, after I didn't eat the whole day. I keep going in circles... was I meant to die? I keep telling myself.. am I just a doll, that has been torn up by others, breaking down in a crumple of dust. Thinking all the time about the past, running away from how I truly feel, mixed emotions i never understood, thinking I'm the only one who is in this feeling. It hurts, it makes these scars, burns and bruises. Mostly writing to stop myself from cutting..
          Holly Reed, I used to love someone, but ran away from my feelings, ran away from problems, ran away from everything, but my insecure ness.