Shorts

Love is a cruel thing (WxW)

She’d go to hell.

There was no question about it anymore, this would lead her straight to hell.

But when thin arms snug around her waist, Nisha decided that it was worth it. She’d gladly endure endless torture for the rest of her life as long as she had those arms around her.

A pleasantly sweet aroma filled her nose, bubblegum and strawberry and she inhaled deeply, afraid she would forget it, that it would go away if she wasn’t careful.

Because things so beautiful would always end so horrible.

“What are you thinking about?”, a whisper, almost too soft to hear over the loud beating of her heart.

She sighed heavily, turned around and let her own arms drop over the other girl.

There almost wasn’t enough space on the small bed for the both of them, but they made it work, they always did.

Nisha buried her face in the mess of brown locks in front of her and closed her eyes, trying to mesmerize every little feature, every curve of her body.

She saved it along with the sound her voice made, how she would bite her lip when she was thinking, always wanted to eat chocolate when frustrated..

Eventually, bright blue eyes looked up into her own brown ones, their color too bright, too beautiful.

How did she deserve someone as perfect as Emma?

The beeping of the monitors behind her faded away and suddenly it was only them again.

The dark circles under her eyes had grown bigger, now almost big enough to make her bright eyes disappear.

At some point, she started tracing the features of the younger girls face, the little squishy nose, her cheekbones and those soft rosy lips.

She felt Emma take a deep breath against her finger and shivered when a wave of emotions hit her shortly after.

Slowly, she leaned down to capture the others lips, loving the feeling of how perfect they were together, how effortlessly Emma slid in her arms, how perfect Nishas hands fit on her hips.

If someone would ask her what made her fall in love with the girl, she mused while deepening the kiss, she couldn’t give them a clear answer.

It was because of the way she talked, the way her eyes would lit up sometimes, how she would obsess over even the littlest things, sometimes talk for hours about something with her cheeks all pink out of embarrassment.

Nisha loved it, when she bit her lip while reading a book, mumbling a word over and over that she didn’t understand, how her hair stood up in all directions after waking up.

She loved every little nick, every little thing about Emma.

So when someone did ask her, what made her fall in love with her, she just shrugged and looked at the younger girl, mumbling “What isn’t there to love?”

And then she would pull her closer and they would shake their head and smile, because everybody could see how happy she was.

Nisha kissed the girl on the lips, soft, lingering, and pulled her into an embrace, burying her nose in her hair again, when another doctor entered the room.

“I love you.”, she whispered, so soft that only Emma could hear it, afraid of talking too loud, afraid someone would take her away because of it.

And she felt the other girl smile weakly against her chest, saying she loved her too.
..
..
She never cried.

She never wept.

She never talked anymore.

She never smiled anymore.

The flowers in her hand were long dead, tulips, because Emma loved them the most.

She would probably be mad at her for letting them die. Or because they still stood next to her bed on the windowsill.

Nisha couldn’t bring herself to throw them away, they were the only things of her she had left.

She looked up at the grave, let her eyes run over the words that weren’t only engraved in the headstone, but also in her brain.

“Emma Silmon”, she whispered, voice shaky with emotions, “A beloved daughter and irreplaceable sister”

Her right hand balled to a fist, her ring still on her finger, the other one on a chain around her neck.

They had been engaged!

They had wanted to marry next month!

Emma had wanted to do it before her illness rid her of the ability to walk.

Nishas gaze fell back onto her feet, she felt like the world was breaking apart around her. One shaky breath later, she finally sat down, the flowers still tight in her grasp.

“Hey babe.. “

Why was her voice shaking so much?

“I.. I have bad news.. “ Nisha tried gulping all of those stupid emotions down. She didn’t want to cry. Emma never wanted her to cry.

“Your mom was here. Well, she c-came visiting. And..” Anger rose up in her chest, momentarily chasing the depression away. “She took all your stuff with her. Said something like I shouldn’t be allowed to keep it. That she didn’t want your memory to be flawed by me.”

The woman had said more, way more, but she didn’t feel like repeating it.
“So uh.. I- I can’t take Jimbo with me on that road trip we planed.. I’m sorry.”

I’m sorry.

It felt like that was all she said lately.

She was sorry that she couldn’t save her, that Emma was the one who got cancer, that it wasn’t herself that end up six feet under.

Emma didn’t deserve to die, that girl had never done anything wrong in her life- besides falling in love with Nisha, if you’d believe some people.

“I.. I still have your flowers though. I’m sorry for not throwing them away, by the way. But they’re all I..” gulp “all I have left.. “

“I love you, Babe.”

And if she strained her ears, she could actually hear Emmas voice whisper it back like she did on that night long ago in the hospital bed, the night when she lost the love of her life.